turps | (no subject)

My plans didn't go as expected the other day as my MiL is back in hospital again. We'd been to Costco and were just heading off to the cinema when James phoned his mam and she sounded really ill on the phone. He kept asking what was wrong and she just kept replying she didn't feel well but of course, despite only leaving hospital with double pneumonia a fortnight ago, she hadn't thought to call for help, either an ambulance or James or my SiL. In fact, it was James who phoned control and got someone to phone my MiL and they sent out an ambulance. Only a low category at first but when we got to my in-laws house James phoned back and escalated to a higher cat.

To cut a long story short, it turns out she has a really aggressive cellulitis infection in both legs which meant she couldn't mobilise at all and has been stuck on the couch for the last few days.

Good things from this. The ambulance people have referred my in-laws to adult social services who'll help get some adaptations in place in the house. And my in-laws finally admitted the main reason they have no heating is because they haven't been paying the gas bill so have been cut off. Apparently when the heating control went off their thought process was, why pay a standing charge if they weren't using the heating. So have had no hot water as well as heating for months. What's most frustrating is they've watched both James and his sister try to fix the control and then the boiler itself and said nothing.

I do think this has scared them both and my SiL is sorting out the bill and getting them reconnected while having adult social serves should help with getting the house suitable for their needs.

Meanwhile, James has taken a leave of absence from scouts. He loves it still but he just hasn't got the energy reserves to commit to being a leader atm. So this way he can take a step back but not lose his accreditation.

Better things. We're off to the theatre to watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight. My SiL and niece have already been and said it's fantastic, so I'm really looking forward to going. We're heading out to eat first, so it should be a good night.

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Ohh wow, that sounds awful. I’m sorry things got so bad with her

They really sucks. Hopefully having adult social services will help

Hope everything gets better for them.

Oh have fun going!

I just wish she'd say something before it got to the point that only an emergency hospital admittance will help. I just know if we hadn't phoned she would have kept sitting on the couch and would have ended up blue-lighted in.

Thank you.

I sure hope your MIL improves quickly, and things will be sorted out for their future comfort!

I hope you enjoy tonight; RHPS (the movie) is pretty amazing, and I'd imagine a live production would be as well. enjoy your dinner & a show!!!

My MiL seems to be on the mend -- again. Plan is for the physio people to try and get her on her feet and onto a chair today. Which would be a nice step forward.

As you know, I had an excellent time.

Augh. Just - augh. *hugs*

RHPS though! Yay! I loved the live production I went to, and I hope you guys will enjoy it too! <3

Augh sums it up really.

As you know I had an excellent time.

Sounds like you’ve been having a difficult time, I hope it gets better for you and your family <3

It's frustrating more than anything. I just wish they'd accept help without having to be forced to do so because of emergencies.

Thank you ♥

Elder care is such a difficult thing to navigate. You want to let them have their independence, but their generation has a hard time admitting to their children that they are having problems. (When my dad was still alive, he would tell me on our weekly phone calls that everything was fine. Everything was Not Fine.)

I'm glad things are starting to get sorted out, though.

It really is.

I can so easily believe that about your dad. Mam was the same, but at least with her I lived so close I could see her daily and see when she actually wasn't fine.

I'm hoping that now adult social services are involved they'll get the adaptations to make living easier. What I'd really want is for them to move to a bungalow but know that's not going to happen. So for now, the adaptations are a good first step.

Oh wow, what a swamp of difficulties. I hope the additional outside help will get them on a better path, with less stress for you too!

I think the additional help will be a good thing. And much needed at this point.

Oooof, that's a lot. Taking care of the elderly is a deffo filled with a lot of frustration and worry. <3

It really is. Even if they'd speak up a little and say they were struggling it would help. James does phone daily, but that doesn't help if they keep things hidden.

But hopefully having adult social services involved will help a lot.

What a frustrating situation for everyone involved! Hopefully it will be easier to make changes now that there are more outside people involved. In any case I'm sending all the good thoughts to both you and James and to the in-laws!

I see from comments that you'd a great time at the theatre. I've only seen the movie and that was a great experience.

Hopefully it will be easier to make changes now that there are more outside people involved

That's what I'm hoping. Both that the adaptations will help, and that realising fresh eyes will see how they've been living will be a prod that things need to change.

We had an excellent time :D

I'm glad that adult social services are getting involved, it sounds like things have just got a bit on top of them recently, so worrying for you that things have had to get so bad for them to acknowledge it though

I think a lot of it was they used to spend a load of time at my SiLs, we're talking going up mid-morning and staying for days, and because of that didn't care about their own house. But now they're trying to stay home more the house is in such a state that it must feel like an impossible job to make changes.

But they can be changed, they just need to accept help. And thankfully seem to be getting to that point.

I hope your mom-in-law feels better soon! As someone who also hates to ask for help, I sympathize with her, I really do. But still -- gaaaah.

Asking for help can be so hard. In their case, though. Not doing so is so dangerous. It's all kinds of frustrating.