turps | Fish and FFNet

Strangest thing seen today. James giving a fish mouth to mouth. While changing the water one of our tropical fish keeled over and died. Looked like the thing had a heart attack or something, just jumped up, rolled over and that was it. But Roach was one of our oldest fish so we had to try and bring him back. The battle was hard as he was massaged gently, and given CPR, but alas poor Roach is no more.

After that I needed a laugh so I went to FFNet. I know, I'm like a moth to a flame in that place but how can you pass up such gems as this...

First the writer says That the end of Ch.1. tell me what you think. Only then will I write more. which pisses me off so much. One day I'll reach the point where I do tell them what I think. Lets skim the story, it's the usual un paragraphed tripe that FFNet is famous for. What I'm interested in is the reviews.

wow~have bad dream huh?anyway,wat happen to Emma?pls write more!I wanna know wat happen 2 her,nice fic so far!Keep going~

WAT! give me strength!

Then great fic plz continue 1 question is this gona be a emma centric fic plz let it be i really luv ur fic and cant wait for more plz go on and if u want more reviews i would let anyonomis people review anyway great fic

I shuddered...I really did. But this was the best...

i like it, and how you include everyone, including emma and jesse who always get left out!

just a few points, which you dno thave to take anynotice t if you dont like suggestions! - using abbreviations in peoples speech would make it flow more. people like brennan for instance, wouldnt say yes i understand, hed say like 'yeah man'... ok that isnt a good example, but hey, u get the point.

besides that, it was really good :D

just wndering, did you know that yuo arent accepting anonymous reviews - you would get lots more if you did. just a thoought

x keep on going :D

I don't have words to convey how much this made me laugh. If you want to give constructive crit learn to write yourself.

(/bitch mode) FFNet, so bad it's good!

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*rubs eyes* wait... did you just do an entry mixing James giving a dead fish mouth to mouth and FFNet... is this an hint that you read the famous Harry/Fish pairing fic? (I swear, it's not a joke, there's a fic like that... there's another one: Harry/Flobberworm... see, we all have our Poodle!Fic lol)

is this an hint that you read the famous Harry/Fish pairing fic? (I swear, it's not a joke, there's a fic like that... there's another one: Harry/Flobberworm

Yeah, I mixed fish and FFNet, but now you have me curious. I need links for Harry/Fish ( it wasn't the squid in the lake was it?) and the flobberworm. I've read Snape/sorting hat and snape/snuffler ( I think that was it's name, the pig like things ) so think I should read the two you said *g*

no, no, it wasn't the giant squid... Here is the addy of one of my favorite NC-17 HP archive - well, the addy to its search engine: http://www.restrictedsection.org/cgi-bin/search.cgi

and if you read HP slash, I would definitely recommend 'Other Chambers, Darker Secrets' - it has a Lucius/Harry non-con pairing - it's one of the best fics on the HP fandoms (one of my favorite I mean)

wait, I tried running a search with 'flobberworm' and 'fish' but it doesn't work... I'll have to check it in details, so I'll be back to you asap on that one (no, I didn't keep those on my harddrive!) I'm at work right now

If you ever find James giving the fish mouth to mouth again you can suggest this method instead: keep the fish in the water holding it like how it would normally swim. Move it back and forward about 6 inches (more for larger fish, less for smaller ones) at a moderate pace. Yes, I know this sounds more like instructions for flogging the dolphin than rescuing a fish ;) Keep doing that for as long as several minutes. Basically that forces water through the fish's gills and can restart breathing. It especially useful if the fish fell on the floor or something but can be used anytime you're trying to save a fish. It cuts down on handling time and you don't have to get fishy lips! I've used it successfully with several fish at work before and it's most effective on goldfish.

How can you read stuff at FF.net? I used to but it's like a needle in a haystack to find anything that isn't crap. A few gems but SO MUCH JUNK! I swear the average author age must be about 14!

Thanks for the fish tip, I wish I knew that before poor Roach died :( I'll tell James as soon as he gets in from work.

As for FFNet, I haven't a choice. I own a Mutant X slash archive and the fandom is tiny. So a lot of people post their slash MX stories at FFNet and I have to look for them. But you're right, the average age is about 14, every time I visit I want to scrub my eyes when I'm done. Never have I seen so much teen speak, Mary Sues and plain bad writing in one place.

I console myself by thinking if they all post there they stay off the grown up's lists.

But ever since FFNet went no NC17 hasn't there been a lot less slash posted? Or do the little brats just mislable or write less graphic stuff? That no NC17 thing was what finally drove me away. I wasn't that I wouldn't read less than that rating (I usually did) just the rule pissed me off. I used to spend SOOOO much time there before.

Fish and FFNet

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