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Sep. 18th, 2020 08:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
turpsThe funeral went well yesterday.
Kayleigh pulled the whole thing together on her own, and I'm so incredibly proud of her. It was weird at times because her dad had three daughters all with different mams, the oldest has never had anything to do with him, but knew who he was, so she was there but didn't go in the official funeral cars. The middle daughter was in contact with him until a few years ago when she stopped going to see him completely, so she's never done any of the difficult parts of his care. Then the youngest is Kayleigh, who has been there for him a lot, especially recently.
Kayleigh also found out recently she has a half brother too, one that only a few people knew about. So it seems her dad liked to sow his wild oats back in the day.
Despite my plans to stay at the back, the way social distancing worked out meant I ended up in the front row to the side, not where I planned to be at all. Masks had to be worn throughout and no singing was allowed, which made for a pretty short service.
The burial part was okay, B was a tall man in a long coffin so needed six men to carry him. As the churchyard is over a road, and a pretty long walk through the church grounds to get to that road, he was taken up in the hearse and then placed in the ground before anyone got there. Then everything seemed to get a bit disorganised with people standing between the graves, watching the best they could as the vicar said a few words, and that was it, people wandering off again.
It was a beautiful late summer/early autumn day, so I enjoyed the walk, but a lot of the older relatives found it hard and were grumbling about it, which I do get but I also think they should have grumbled in private as it was nothing Kayleigh could change.
There was no wake, instead, we went back to the pub that's over the road from Kayleigh's house, had a drink with her and then left. She was with Lucy and some good friends and it was obvious she needed to kickback. She hardly ever drinks so suspect she'll be hanging this morning.
Despite having no emotional stakes in the funeral, I was exhausted on the night, and was in bed by nine and must have been asleep within five minutes, not stirring until seven this morning.
I do wish we could have had time to see Corey yesterday as the NE went back into a stricter lockdown from midnight last night. As you're not supposed to mix with anyone outside of your household/bubble, it means we can't go visit him at home or meet him anywhere, or go to Kayleigh's or my in-laws. It also means the birthday meal we'd planned with Pauline will have to be cancelled. A card and gift left at the door it is I guess.
Talking of, it would have been dad's birthday today. So, happy birthday to dad. I still miss you, very very much ♥
Kayleigh pulled the whole thing together on her own, and I'm so incredibly proud of her. It was weird at times because her dad had three daughters all with different mams, the oldest has never had anything to do with him, but knew who he was, so she was there but didn't go in the official funeral cars. The middle daughter was in contact with him until a few years ago when she stopped going to see him completely, so she's never done any of the difficult parts of his care. Then the youngest is Kayleigh, who has been there for him a lot, especially recently.
Kayleigh also found out recently she has a half brother too, one that only a few people knew about. So it seems her dad liked to sow his wild oats back in the day.
Despite my plans to stay at the back, the way social distancing worked out meant I ended up in the front row to the side, not where I planned to be at all. Masks had to be worn throughout and no singing was allowed, which made for a pretty short service.
The burial part was okay, B was a tall man in a long coffin so needed six men to carry him. As the churchyard is over a road, and a pretty long walk through the church grounds to get to that road, he was taken up in the hearse and then placed in the ground before anyone got there. Then everything seemed to get a bit disorganised with people standing between the graves, watching the best they could as the vicar said a few words, and that was it, people wandering off again.
It was a beautiful late summer/early autumn day, so I enjoyed the walk, but a lot of the older relatives found it hard and were grumbling about it, which I do get but I also think they should have grumbled in private as it was nothing Kayleigh could change.
There was no wake, instead, we went back to the pub that's over the road from Kayleigh's house, had a drink with her and then left. She was with Lucy and some good friends and it was obvious she needed to kickback. She hardly ever drinks so suspect she'll be hanging this morning.
Despite having no emotional stakes in the funeral, I was exhausted on the night, and was in bed by nine and must have been asleep within five minutes, not stirring until seven this morning.
I do wish we could have had time to see Corey yesterday as the NE went back into a stricter lockdown from midnight last night. As you're not supposed to mix with anyone outside of your household/bubble, it means we can't go visit him at home or meet him anywhere, or go to Kayleigh's or my in-laws. It also means the birthday meal we'd planned with Pauline will have to be cancelled. A card and gift left at the door it is I guess.
Talking of, it would have been dad's birthday today. So, happy birthday to dad. I still miss you, very very much ♥
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Date: 2020-09-18 08:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-09-19 10:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-09-18 09:44 am (UTC){{{hugs}}}
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Date: 2020-09-19 10:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-09-19 11:03 am (UTC)Now, I'm angry on her behalf too. *Sends smiting vibes across the ocean*
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Date: 2020-09-18 07:03 pm (UTC)The increased lockdown is tough - we're under a slightly stricter one than we were, which meant my mum and dad couldn't stop in and use the loo here last week. It's important, but it's difficult.
<3 <3 <3
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Date: 2020-09-19 10:38 am (UTC)Yeah, it's very important and something needed doing because cases were rocketing in the area. But of course now I'm worried about Corey and his job again as I can see the hospitality industry taking another very hard knock.
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Date: 2020-09-18 08:49 pm (UTC)*hand-squeezes* - I hope the lockdown does its job, and you're able to go and see Corey and everyone else sooner rather than later!
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Date: 2020-09-19 10:24 am (UTC)Thank you, I hope so too.
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Date: 2020-09-19 04:54 am (UTC)And may your own dad's memory remain close also.
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Date: 2020-09-19 09:02 am (UTC)Kayleigh needs to hand in the keys to her dad's house on Monday, then can hopefully concentrate on her upcoming wedding and not death. Though I know that saddness will linger for a long time.
Thank you.
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Date: 2020-09-19 02:48 pm (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2020-09-20 05:07 pm (UTC)Thank you <3
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Date: 2020-09-19 06:52 pm (UTC)It must feel quite frustrating for you to go back to lockdown. I hope it won't last too long *keeps fingers crossed*
*hugs you a lot*
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Date: 2020-09-20 05:05 pm (UTC)I hope we're not in lockdown for long, but suspect we will be. In fact, the way cases are going up I suspect the whole of the UK will be locked up again relatively soon.
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Date: 2020-09-19 07:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-09-20 05:04 pm (UTC)I have so much respect for anyone who has had to do such a difficult job solo.