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Mar. 13th, 2006 01:21 pmMam phoned this morning to say Brock wasn't doing well. He's been going downhill all weekend and she'd phoned me late last night to tell me he was falling over when he tried to walk outside. This morning his whole back end had collapsed. His back legs were going under him, he was trying to walk and could manage a few steps by dragging himself along, but that was it. We arranged to take him to the vet, and I think we all thought it was the end. See, I can rationalise to myself that it's not right that he's like this. He's old, over 18. He has tumours everywhere, he's deaf, but he's still happy you know? He'd come to greet you, slowly sure, but he still did, and enjoyed gentle strolls down to my house most nights. If there was any hint he'd been suffering we'd have done something, but there wasn't. He was fine. Today he's not. Mam hasn't the strength to carry him, so I carried him to the car. Of course he peed all down my arm when I did so.
Like I said, we all thought this was it when we were driving there. Mam had him on her knee and was talking to him, and just... I switched on my sparkly cd to have something else to concentrate on, and of course BBB was the first song. I carried him into the vet, and he peed on me again, but the angle I was carrying him meant he got not just me but a lady walking past and the cat she was carrying. James didn't tell me that until later and I'm glad, because I had a tendency to laugh inappropriately when I'm upset, and laughing at the poor woman and her cat wouldn't be good. Man, I'm laughing now, I suck.
So, we waited. It was an emergency appointment so we had to be fit in whenever. There were so many people coming out of rooms crying and how I didn't join them I'll never know. Brock peed on my mam, twice, and I had to mop up the floor. Then I carried him outside and we had a moment. All the time we were waiting for my brother who was at work. Chris was interviewing people so couldn't leave straight away, but said don't do anything until he got there.
We went in, and they said he's got total nerve damage in his back end. Either a tumour has blocked his spine, a disc has collapsed or he's had a stroke. She gave him an injection and tablets and said go back on Wednesday, and the relief. I know the odds he'll come home on Wed are tiny. The vet told us how to put a towel under Brock to hold him up so he can pee, and I think of that and know there's a point where you have to say enough is enough. Plus, mam can't carry him. Believe me, if I have to I'll go when needed to carry him anywhere at anytime, but is that fair on him? Hypothetical question really, I know the answer, but it's Brock, and I've known and loved him for over two thirds of my life. I don't want him to go.
I know we're lucky to have these two days, but I'm still hoping we'll get there on Wednesday and he'll be healed, and that's a hope I'm not letting go of yet, however unrealistic that is.
Brock Lee
Like I said, we all thought this was it when we were driving there. Mam had him on her knee and was talking to him, and just... I switched on my sparkly cd to have something else to concentrate on, and of course BBB was the first song. I carried him into the vet, and he peed on me again, but the angle I was carrying him meant he got not just me but a lady walking past and the cat she was carrying. James didn't tell me that until later and I'm glad, because I had a tendency to laugh inappropriately when I'm upset, and laughing at the poor woman and her cat wouldn't be good. Man, I'm laughing now, I suck.
So, we waited. It was an emergency appointment so we had to be fit in whenever. There were so many people coming out of rooms crying and how I didn't join them I'll never know. Brock peed on my mam, twice, and I had to mop up the floor. Then I carried him outside and we had a moment. All the time we were waiting for my brother who was at work. Chris was interviewing people so couldn't leave straight away, but said don't do anything until he got there.
We went in, and they said he's got total nerve damage in his back end. Either a tumour has blocked his spine, a disc has collapsed or he's had a stroke. She gave him an injection and tablets and said go back on Wednesday, and the relief. I know the odds he'll come home on Wed are tiny. The vet told us how to put a towel under Brock to hold him up so he can pee, and I think of that and know there's a point where you have to say enough is enough. Plus, mam can't carry him. Believe me, if I have to I'll go when needed to carry him anywhere at anytime, but is that fair on him? Hypothetical question really, I know the answer, but it's Brock, and I've known and loved him for over two thirds of my life. I don't want him to go.
I know we're lucky to have these two days, but I'm still hoping we'll get there on Wednesday and he'll be healed, and that's a hope I'm not letting go of yet, however unrealistic that is.
Brock Lee
