turps | (no subject)

(no subject)

LJ is slow today.

Anyone want to entertain me and play shag, marry, cliff?

You know the drill, give me three names, I'll decide if I shag, marry or cliff them and give you three names in return.

ETA: Feel free to challenge others with a list if you like.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dude, all the good combinations have gone!

Um...

Lou Pearlman
Kevin Federline
Reichen Lehmkuhl

(I keep seeing Snog, Marry, Avoid in the TV listings, and every time it makes me cross because that's not the RIGHT NAME for the game, and, okay, maybe they couldn't really have KILL in there since they're playing the game with random real people, but WTF snog instead of shag? What's even the point? {Mutter, grumble, is crazy}...)

We always called it "Fuck, Marry, Murder"... and there were rules. Like, you could only fuck the fuck once. You could fuck the one you marry, but only for the first year and then only once a week. And you had to say HOW you'd murder the one you murdered.

Like, you could only fuck the fuck once. You could fuck the one you marry, but only for the first year and then only once a week.

That's still 52 times more than you got to fuck the actual fuck! I always assumed that 'marry' meant you just got to fill in tax forms together, and maybe have babies by some mysterious process involving sitting next to one another on the sofa and drinking extra-hot cocoa before bedtime.

ETA: I really like the rule about saying how you carry out the murder, though.

Oh, definitely you had to do all the married stuff, too. Originally, you didn't get to fuck the 'marry' person at all, but we decided that was unrealistic. It would, however, have to be consensual (so no fucking if they have a headache or just think you're gross!) and they can cheat on you. Like in a real marriage. So 'marry' was full of traps, like that you might never get a fuck out of it, but 'fuck' would be a for-sure fuck. Although not for-sure GOOD.

Oh, the murder rule is great. Pushing someone off a cliff is so impersonal! And "cliff" doesn't necessarily imply that you're the one doing it, either.

And "cliff" doesn't necessarily imply that you're the one doing it, either.

{channels evil!overlord!Lance}

Of course not. I have people who handle that kind of thing for me.

I think the version we play there's no actual sex in the marriage. Just tea and toast watching tv. But I love the murder rule. I may use that next time, for that added creepy factor.

A sexless marriage seems so horrible! Not really much better than getting cliffed...

You know, I have to admit I actually find Kevin Federline rather attractive. So I'd totally shag him, but then comes the problem that I'd be stuck getting married to one of the other two, which not on!

Okay, so I'd marry Kevin. Shag Reichen, and I'm sure that will be a disaster waiting to happen. Cliff Lou. And in this case, no one rescues him!

Snog, Marry, Avoid. That's so wrong!

You!

Brian. Captain Jack. Chris in dog form.

Brian. Captain Jack. Chris in dog form.

Hee!

Well, for once the cliff is easy, because Jack is immortal and I'm sure he wouldn't hold it against me if I killed him. He never seems to with anyone else.

Shag...marry...y'know, I'm actually struggling with this one. Not the shagging, the marrying. Because, well, to be honest I don't really like dogs. Not on a long-term companion basis. The devoted staring totally creeps me out. OTOH, Brian is really awfully Christian, and although I love him dearly I don't think I could handle that either, not every day...

But if I married Jack (many pluses -- hot, awesome, job which keeps him out of my hair, would probably be willing to have sex with Ianto in front of me) then I'd have to cliff one of the others. Ack!

Damn. My dinner is ready. I'll get back to you with a final answer in a bit.

Okay.

I just can't cliff Brian *or* dog!Chris. The big pleading eyes would kill me before I could chuck either one of them over the edge. So it will have to be Captain Jack. I'm sure Ianto will be around to help him get over the trauma of being dead yet again.

Then shag Brian. Because he's just that hot, and there's a limit to how Christian he can be for one night.

Marry dog!Chris. Because then the other guys will come to my house to visit him. ~~And he'd have a really long tongue~~.

Okay...Aaron Carter,

msktrnanny!traumatising!floppy!haired!Nick, Reel!Nsync!Justin.

ACK! :scrubs eyeballs: AARONnotNick! :bleaches brain:

I like your reasoning, because yes. I think Captain Jack is used to the death thing now.

I am shocked you're not marrying Brian!

But I see the appeal of marrying Chris the dog. ~~especially considering the tongue~~

Oh wow. It's a case of do I love perverted, damn perverted or just plain wrong perverted.

Okay. Easy choice. I'd cliff Aaron. I'd have pleasure cliffing him. Shag Reel!Nsync!Justin, because it's not like Justin was ever really young, which means I get to marry msktrnanny!traumatising!floppy!haired!Nick, still, he'll grow! Until then he can stay in a spare room.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only