(no subject)

[turps]

From brandywine28's post I saw there's the possibility Channing Tatum could be in the remake of Splash, but playing the part of the mermaid. Which come on, is all kinds of awesome. I love that in the linked article there are comments about how he'd actually be a merman, because really, maybe that would be technically correct, but it would be a thousand times better if he was an actual mermaid.

James set off to work this morning, got all the way to Newcastle, and found out he was actually on late shift, so had to come all the way home again. He's going to be so tired by 2am, and we were both unimpressed about the unneeded 5:30am start.

Nanna is still in hospital, and okay at the moment

It turns out she'd had two minor heart attacks, and if she hadn't been admitted to hospital when she was wouldn't have survived the night. Due to her age and how frail she is they're not willing to attempt any invasive tests on her heart, or try any treatment beyond medication.

When we were visiting yesterday the doctor came in to discuss what had happened, and told us she'd had a talk with nanna who'd said she wanted to go DNR, which the doctors agreed with because as they said, if nanna has another bigger heart attack there's not a chance she could be resuscitated.

Really, nanna's done. Not wanting to end her own life done, but she's tired and has lost her husband and son and her body is failing on her. And I get her reasons for the DNR, I really do, I get why the doctors have agreed, too. But with every part of my being I wanted to tell that doctor yesterday, no, if she has a heart attack you help her. You do everything that you can. But ultimately that wouldn't be fair to her.

She could hang on for ages yet, or go tomorrow. She's quite happy right now, but has started telling the same stories multiple times in a short time period, something she never did before. I suspect she'll be staying in hospital until they get even more care sorted out. But that's in the hands of the hospital social workers now, and really, as much as I wish she was home, she's in the best place.



I've joined the ebook part of our local library. The range of ebooks isn't that great, but better than nothing. The only issue is my preferred method of reading ebooks is on my kindle, and you can't read the library books on that. So I'm using my phone, which is fine for a quick read while out and about, but not for a prolonged reading session. I suspect I'll have to upgrade my kindle sometime this year as it's started to freeze on occasions. Not surprising as it's one of the old models that doesn't even have a keyboard or wifi, but annoying when it happens. I've been casually checking out the fires, but no doubt will be back asking for solid advice on models when I actually do need to retire my old faithful.

Right, bath and book time then I must get some tv watched tonight as my dvr is down to 4% memory again.

Comments

[dine]

end of life stuff is hard - I hope nanna continues to be happy for however long she has left.

I have some (mostly m/m) mobi titles on my computer. if I can get a list to you a bit later today, and there are any you want, I'd be happy to share with you! if possible let me know so I can transfer them to you by tomorrow night - otherwise it'll have to wait a few weeks *g* I also have some on the amazon cloud, and I think there's a mechanism for sharing those, but I don't know what it is, so that might have to wait a while.

[turps]

It is. I think she will be happy, I know things are hard for her now, but she's always known she's loved.

Oh, that would be fantastic! My email is turps33 at gmail dot com, but if it's easier I'd be happy for you to just pick some titles you think are good. I trust your taste.

You're a star, especially when you've your own things to sort out, too.

[dine]

I e-mailed a list of mobi & pdf titles I have (and links to online descriptions of same) and will be happy to send them off to you, assuming I hear back before I go to bed tomorrow night.

and once I'm further along in recovery, I'll explore 'loaning' kindle titles from the amazon cloud, in case there are any I have there which might interest you.

[turps]

I've got your email and am just about to go and look now.

Thank you so much!

[glitteryv]

Channing Tatum's career has been, for the most part, an absolute delight. I so looking forward to seeing him swish his fishtail around. ;)

It really sucks that James had to schlepp all the way to work and then return. :|

End of life stuff is always difficult. As painful as it might to learn about your Nanna's wishes, the fact that you understand the thinking behind her decision and that you respect it is what really matters. *all the hugs to all of you*

My city's library system is great in some ways (lots of new and old books available and a great interlibrary network) and less impressive in others. Their ebook selection is rather anemic. The only ebooks available (that I'd potentially be interested in) are ultra-popular YAs. The audiobook options aren't better either. :-/

I deffo adore libraries (in many ways, they've always been sanctuaries), but it really sucks that they don't have much of what I like in my preferred format. :(

In any case, I hope that you can get some more mileage out of your kindle. My tablet's about 4 or so years old and, although I do use it every day for an average of 2 to 3 hours, still chugging along. The microSD slot went kaput a few weeks ago (which freaked me out since I had the majority of my library saved to it). Thankfully, I'd backed everything up something like two days before it went bonkers so I was able to replace all of the ebooks and fics (totalling ~400 or so) without having to start from scratch.

[turps]

I so looking forward to seeing him swish his fishtail around. ;)

Ah, me too! I agree, his carer has mostly been a delight. And I really like him as a person, something that was cemented with his Frozen act on Lipsync Battle.

It was annoying, then he got sick that night and has been off since then. It's one thing after another sometimes.

I do understand nanna's thinking. It's so hard for her. and while I know she's still got family and friends who love and care for her, she's lost so much. To be so ill must be the final straw.

I was surprised at small the ebook selection was at my local library. I wasn't expecting many thousands of books, but more than they actually are for sure.

Oh man, I would have been freaked too. All that fic and books. Thank goodness for backups.

[pensnest]

It's a good thing that your nanna has had a chance to talk to the doctor on her own behalf about the DNR thing. My gran did that, and I'm sure it made the end of her life easier and more peaceful than it might have been. And I knew that she was ready to die, because she'd told me so, and that helped.

My father, otoh, didn't. After he had a massive stroke, his mind just wasn't what it had been, and as he converted to Catholicism (post-stroke) and his wife was a staunch Catholic, I don't suppose it occurred to either of them that it was necessary or acceptable. But... he had a problem, was ill, went into hospital, had a huge heart attack, was dead for a while and they still managed to revive him enough that he lived for a couple more days and, really, what the fuck? I thought then, and I still think, that it was cruel and badly, badly misguided.

There are worse things than going when your time comes. I hope your nanna stays happy and comfortable, and ideally is around for a nice long while yet, but if that cannot be—well, cherish each day you have, and make sure you do what you'd want to be able to look back on and say you've done.

Also, *BIG* hugs.

[turps]

In a way I wasn't surprised when I was told about the talk nanna had had and her decision for a DNR. Yes it was upsetting to hear, but I know how sad she's been for the people she's lost, and now with her health going too. She is ready to go, and despite the upset I'm glad I know.

The same way I'm glad dad got the chance to say his wishes in terms of that too. The day he was taken into hospital and was so sick so soon we were asked to make the decision, and it was horrible. But him hanging on for another few weeks meant he could decide on his own, which helped a little when he passed, because I knew it would have been peaceful.

What happened to your father sounds horrible, and yes, very misguided.

Nanna is coming home today. They've arranged carers to come out three times a day, and I suspect she's just going to get worse, especially as her short term memory has been failing lately. But, we will have more time to spend with her, and I'll treasure it all.

Thank you. Talking about the DNR in comments has actually helped get my thoughts a little straighter. Not that it will hurt any less when the time comes, but I know it's what nanna wants, and a decision she stated on her own.

[rikes]

Glad to hear your nanna is doing better. Must be tough for all of you though, I can't even imagine. Good thing she had the chance to express her wishes re DNR.

*hugs*

[turps]

She really is doing better. She's still in hospital, though.

I'm glad that she did express her DNR wishes. Because while she is okay now, that's very much due to all the meds she's taking.

[ephemera]

*hand squeezes*

(I could go into a long ramble about libraries and ebooks and the why of some of the limitations, but I'm not sure this is the moment!)

[turps]

♥

I'd like to hear those ramblings at some point. I was surprised at the library ebook limitations when I first joined. I wasn't expecting multiple thousands of books to be available, but did expect more than there actually are. Plus, the kindle issue is a pain, though I suspect that's on kindle's end.

[turlough]

My grandmother was the same at the end. She was tired and felt it was time for her to go. It's awful for us that are left behind but we just have to accept it. (And I know that when my time comes - hopefully far far in the future - I hope I'll feel the same way.) *hugs you a lot*

[turps]

It is sad, and it is awful, but you're right. All we can do is accept it. It would be disrespectful otherwise.

Thank you ♥

[sperrywink]

Can't you get an appropriate reading app for your i{ad to read in the bath?

And I was thinking of you and Nanna. I hope everyone is well and hanging in there.

[turps]

I could, and probably will for reading downstairs/bedroom, but my iPad is the original kind and too heavy for bath reading. Though, I have to admit I've often considered watching some tv on my iPad with it propped on the sink. But I already spend enough time in the bath I think.

Nanna is doing okay. Medially she could come home but they won't be doing that until they're sure she can cope being alone. And I suspect getting that sorted will take a while.

[romantical]

I've been out of town, so missed all of this, but thinking of you and Nanna. a DNR is a hard, hard thing, but I think it can also be the right thing, and it's harder on those who have to deal with the after than those who make the decision.

Lots of love. <3333

[turps]

You've been out of town doing good things. So no worries at all.

In nanna's case the DNR is a good thing, she's doing okay at the moment but that could change in an instant, and I'd hate to have her suffer if they tried to bring her back. Especially as she's ready to go. But knowing that and accepting it are very different things.

Thank you <3