turps | (no subject)

So, yesterday.

Some of you may remember about three years ago mam had suspected lung cancer. In the end they decided it wasn't that, but she did have a growth in her lung, just they weren't sure what that actually was.

Recently she's been having health issues that led to more scans etc at the end of last year. We took her for the results of those yesterday, and the growth has hardened and got bigger. The doctor said it could be now be lung cancer, but due to the location of the growth the only way they'd know for sure was her having an operation to take away part of the lung and the growth.

On the positive side. If they do that he said it's pretty much certain the cancer -- if it is cancer -- would be gone.

The negative. She's already got bad lungs due to COPD and the growth, so losing more lung could badly affect her breathing even more. Plus, there's the issue her health is so bad that the operation could do much more harm than good.

And if you think I flashed back 15 months to dad being told he had cancer and his health being so bad any operation would almost be guaranteed to kill him, well you'd be right.

Mam's had a feeling she was going to get bad news, and on the way in said she was going to refuse any treatment, and she said that again in the appointment. Then pretty much broke down and cried until we left. And then my sister cried when she phoned from work to find out what happened, and my brother had yet more weight put on his shoulders when I had to tell him when I got home.

It's a difficult decision because the only way they'll know for sure if it is cancer, is if they do that op, but that op could make things so much worse. So what do you do? Just wait as the growth keeps getting bigger? Or try and be pro active and risk much more damage. As of now she's got a tentative date a week today with the specialist surgeon, where he may say no to an operation anyway, and until then has been sent home with a nebuliser to help her breathing.

If they won't operate, or mam says no to that, the doctor suggested some radio could be given to help control the growth, but mam doesn't want that either. She kept saying how so many of her friends have died of lung cancer and she doesn't want to be cut and I have to respect that, but man, it's hard.

Saying that, this has been a slow moving thing so there's no immediate danger, and I'm holding onto that. Maybe it's stupid being so optimistic that things will work out, but that's how I feel at the moment. It's going to suck, and the thought of yet more hospital visits -- especially as they'll have to be in Newcastle and not our local hospital -- makes me want to just say, no! But that's how I do feel, and if that's me wearing rose-coloured glasses, so be it.

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northern

Cancer is awful. I'm sorry.

turps

It really is.

sperrywink

Awww, that does suck. Damn cancer anyway.

Yeah, it does sound like a rock and a hard place situation.

I'll hold out hope too. {{{hugs}}}

romantical

Ugh. I'm sorry sweetie.

I will tell you what my dad said when they told him that he couldn't do chemo anymore, but he could do radiation. He asked what would happen and they said they'd give him 3-6 more months. Without it, it would be 1-3 months. Radiation would have been 4-5 hours of his day each day. He opted for quality over quantity.

If your mam does opt not to do anything, maybe put it in that perspective? Thinking like that might make it easier for you and the rest of your family?

♥ ♥

anotherslashfan

That's really sad news. Hang in there! *hugs*

ngaio

Oh hon, I'm sorry you're having to go through this stress, even if it turns out to be nothing (or close to it) it's crappy.

Damn cancer for sure.

It was bad news, but I just keep thinking at least it wasn't dad level bad where it was obvious he wouldn't last much longer.

Mainly it's that rock and hard decision to be made. But ultimately, that has to be mam's choice, and up to now she's very much sticking at waiting and doing nothing.

Thank you ♥

It does help put it into perspective. I've been up there today and she's still very much of the thought not to operate, and I can't fault her for that.

Her breathing is bad enough as it is, so the op would be a really big risk.

It was.

Thank you ♥

Yeah, the not knowing sucks. But I suspect she's going to go for the wait and do nothing option.

Thank you ♥

A lot of times, when someone has a serious issue, they won't operate anyway, as it is too much of a risk. Lots of love to you. I know this is hard.

turlough

Oh no! How absolutely awful for all of you. *hugs you long and hard and sends many, many good and hopeful thoughts*

akamine_chan

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. *hugs you so hard*

I guess all we can do is keep on hoping for the best. While mam is still willing to see the surgeon I doubt she'll say yes to the op. That's if he's even willing to attempt it.

Thank you ♥

Thank you so much ♥

dine

I'm so sorry to hear this - what an awful thing for your family! I'm thinking of you all *hugs*

ephemera

*hand squeezes* I'm so sorry.

bunnybeckett

Cancer really, truly, sucks. I'm sorry that that's happening again for you.

Sending love and positive vibes from across the Atlantic.

frausorge

That's such hard news - I'm so sorry. Sending all best wishes to her and to you. I hope she gets the very best of care no matter what path she chooses. *hugs*