(no subject)

[turps]

I've had post, thank you, pushkin666, frausorge, venetia_sassy, nopseud, misbegotten tara and CJ for the cards, and thank you to ephemera and again, nopseud and R for the parcels. You're all amazing, and my apologies for the late thank yous.

Those cards have been arriving at the same time as sympathy cards, which just sums up this weird time, really.

My MiL's funeral will be on the 14th of Jan

She always said she wanted the most basic of funerals, so, while it feels weird, that's what she's getting. It's a direct cremation, but sort of hybrid type, because while most direct cremations involve the person going away to be cremated, in this one a local funeral home will take her to our local crematorium, but there will be no service at all. Mourners can attend, but not sit down, it's literally the first slot of the day at 8:45. Where people can follow the coffin inside, say goodbye, and then go. No service, no wake, no fuss. Which is exactly what she wanted, and as weird as it does feel not to be planning a service, honouring her wishes is the last act of love we can do for her.

We're still waiting for things like a death certificate, but at least there's a date. Then after that funeral, there will be a meet up/meal at some point with anyone that wants to attend.

James is running on fumes right now. He was close to my MiL, calling her every day, especially so on his way to work. I know he's going to miss that a lot. The Christmas prep has been a mixed blessing, helping distract, but also, things like my Mil's presents sat here ready to be given to her, and the cards from her to us that he hasn't been able to open yet.

He's not sleeping well, which means we've both been getting up around 5am, so I feel ready for bed by 8 at night. On the plus side, being up so early has meant we've got our Christmas grocery shopping done before the crowds descend. And as of now, have only got one more shop to do tomorrow to pick up the cream cake and buns.

So yeah, thank you for the comments on my last post, they meant a lot ♥

And as the world keeps on turning, we were at the vets today with Kevin for his usual congestion issues. I did phone asking if he could have the powders that help with that, but they said he needed to be checked this time, which fair enough. Kevin's fine, and showed how sappy he is by being Velcro cat with the vet, trying to snuggle into her. She was happy to prescribe the powders and said the script will stay open for six months so if he gets it again no need for a visit.

Now I need to finally go and deliver cards to my neighbours, then strip Murphy's Corey's bed as he finally let me know he's sleeping over Christmas day night.

Comments

[kat_lair]

It's good if you can all come together to remember her over a shared meal or something later on, provides a different kind of closure. And grief be like that, no use forcing sleep (or other) schedules if brain wants to do its own thing. Hope you have softness and light for Christmas.

[turps]

It's good if you can all come together to remember her over a shared meal or something later on, provides a different kind of closure

It does, and a needed one I think.

I like the idea of softness and light, thank you.

[spikedluv]

*hugs you tight*

I love the image of Kevin velcroed to the vet. *g*

[turps]

Thank you.

Kevin was such a velco cat that day. He was shameless.

[pensnest]

We had a very basic cremation for my FIL (ie we just collected the ashes when it was done) but did a memorial later and placed the ashes round 'his' trees. Maybe you could do something as a 'joyful and loving goodbye' later, when the immediate grief has faded a bit and it's easier to plan. **hugs**

Well done on the Christmas grocery shopping—we went to Tesco at nine on Monday morning and it was madness.

[turps]

Thank you for sharing about your FIL's cremation. Some people have seemed a little surprised that we're not having a service for my MIL, but that was what she wanted, and it seemed wrong to go against that. But at the same time, I do think we need to do something to celebrate her. Even if that's not right now.

All the Christmas shopping has blended into a blur now. But going early was the way to go.

[turlough]

*hugs you both long and hard*

Kevin the Velcro Cat made me giggle. Hopefully the powders will help as well as always so he will soon be free from congestion again.

Poor Murphy, deprived of his own bed for Christmas night ;-)

[turps]

♥

Kevin is such a weirdo, he's so high energy, but at the same time loves to be close to people, as shown by snuggling the vet *g*

Murphy was most put out to lose his bed. But, he was back there reclaiming it by boxing day.

[rikes]

❤️

[turps]

Thank you.

[jacieleigh]

I posted a card to you on Dec 16th, but in the past, they've taken anywhere from 1-6 weeks to arrive. I suspect it will show up eventually. You can always pack it away for next year. 🙂

It's always so tough to lose a loved one, especially a loved one you've been so close to. (((HUGS to you and James))). The pain will ease a little with time, but I'm not sure things ever feel *normal* again. Even though she didn't want a service, it's a good idea to let people gather for a meal to get some closure.

Kevin seems to know who to snuggle with to get his drugs... LOL. I hope they help him. Poor Chaser has chronic issues, but the vet said she can't recommend anything to help. I hope Corey will at least be okay with sharing the bed with Murphy! I hope your Christmas was Merry, and that Corey was delighted with his knives.

[turps]

I got your card, thank you so much! I didn't need to pack it away, I'll display with the others for a bit yet. But yeah, I hear you in terms of delivery time, I never know how long things will take now.

I'm glad James and his sister are planning a meal, as I do think something is needed to get closure. While it was my MiL's wish to have no service, I think having that gathering will help everyone.

Corey did enjoy his knives, but sadly, Murphy wouldn't share the bed with him. Murphy is such a two person only cat, I still blame the fact we got him literally, days before everything locked down in COVID-19 times, so he only saw me and James for months.