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Reality Check
May. 16th, 2003 11:27 amOne of my mam's friends died yesterday. He's been in hospital for a while, and was found collapsed on the floor in the bathroom early yesterday morning. The hospital phoned his wife and told her that he'd taken a bad turn, so she asked James if he'd drive her there. He did, with my mam and the wife's sister. They got to the hospital and were shown into this room, white, tea cups set out on a tray, lillies on the wall, bad sign yeah? So the doctor walks in and says that R died 5 minutes before they got there.
I knew R by sight, he was one of the clan that my mam goes out drinking with. He was nice, didn't stay out and get drunk like most of them, just had a few pints then went home. so after hearing that I wasn't in the best of moods yesterday. I wasn't sad that he'd died. God that sounds horrible, I mean I wasn't grieving for him, I just didn't know him well enough to be badly affected.
But later my nanna came to visit, yeah the neat freak. After a crack about 'was I doing the ironing' she started in on that I never visit. Same old same old. But then she took the wind out of my sails by giving me some money. Not a huge amount but not chump change either. Apparently some notes are being changed here soon and the old ones won't be able to be spent after the end of July. So my nanna's giving money out to her family now. She's been keeping it at her house, and just put it into envelopes and gave it to the people she wanted to. I'm not even starting on the using banks thing, she just does what she wants whatever anyone says.
I was grateful for the money, don't get me wrong, but it felt like she was putting her affairs in order and I didn't like it. My grandad's been ill for a while, and my nanna told me that the doctor says that he's having mini strokes. He's at home, but all he can do is sit in his chair, he's nearly blind now, hates noise and can hardly walk. And that's just wrong you know? My grandad's supposed to look after his garden, growing tomatoes for me, or make me boiled eggs and soldiers like he did when i was a kid. Not sit in a chair and tell me the same thing ten times in ten minutes.
I want to shout it's not fair, but I'm a grown up now, I know that people get ill and die, doesn't mean that I have to like it. So I've this money, and there's so much that I want, but I can't even make myself open the envelope, because you know, if I do that, spending my grandparents money is something I don't want to do just yet.
Reality sucks sometimes, no wonder pretty boys are so appealing. RL might be the worst but as long as I can escape into hot sex, good stories and prettiness I can muddle on, and if that makes me sad, so be it.
In more cheerful news, I went shopping yesterday. Bought the best nightie ever. It's soft cotton, long, with ducks on it. Yeah, ducks, my sister laughed too but it's the most comfortable thing ever. I didn't want to take it off this morning
I knew R by sight, he was one of the clan that my mam goes out drinking with. He was nice, didn't stay out and get drunk like most of them, just had a few pints then went home. so after hearing that I wasn't in the best of moods yesterday. I wasn't sad that he'd died. God that sounds horrible, I mean I wasn't grieving for him, I just didn't know him well enough to be badly affected.
But later my nanna came to visit, yeah the neat freak. After a crack about 'was I doing the ironing' she started in on that I never visit. Same old same old. But then she took the wind out of my sails by giving me some money. Not a huge amount but not chump change either. Apparently some notes are being changed here soon and the old ones won't be able to be spent after the end of July. So my nanna's giving money out to her family now. She's been keeping it at her house, and just put it into envelopes and gave it to the people she wanted to. I'm not even starting on the using banks thing, she just does what she wants whatever anyone says.
I was grateful for the money, don't get me wrong, but it felt like she was putting her affairs in order and I didn't like it. My grandad's been ill for a while, and my nanna told me that the doctor says that he's having mini strokes. He's at home, but all he can do is sit in his chair, he's nearly blind now, hates noise and can hardly walk. And that's just wrong you know? My grandad's supposed to look after his garden, growing tomatoes for me, or make me boiled eggs and soldiers like he did when i was a kid. Not sit in a chair and tell me the same thing ten times in ten minutes.
I want to shout it's not fair, but I'm a grown up now, I know that people get ill and die, doesn't mean that I have to like it. So I've this money, and there's so much that I want, but I can't even make myself open the envelope, because you know, if I do that, spending my grandparents money is something I don't want to do just yet.
Reality sucks sometimes, no wonder pretty boys are so appealing. RL might be the worst but as long as I can escape into hot sex, good stories and prettiness I can muddle on, and if that makes me sad, so be it.
In more cheerful news, I went shopping yesterday. Bought the best nightie ever. It's soft cotton, long, with ducks on it. Yeah, ducks, my sister laughed too but it's the most comfortable thing ever. I didn't want to take it off this morning
