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Aug. 4th, 2003 03:22 pmIn a bit of a funk about writing today, so I'm going to post about something here instead. This is something that I've been thinking about since I saw it in ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
littledrop's journal. Self censorship and whether I use it in my LJ.
I was reminded of the post when Castalie asked whether I was censoring my journal in a comment last night, and I was a little bit.
I suppose this comes back to the old argument of whether your LJ is there for you or other's entertainment. I suspect most people's instinct would be to say it's for their own benefit. But honestly, can anyone say that they don't write for other people at times?
Personally I use my LJ for so many things. To post stories, to rant and rave, to ask opinions. I never thought it would be so important to me. I've never had a diary in RL, so I didn't think I'd use it so much. But now I find that most days I'm on here.
Going back to the censorship point. Yes, this is me on here, but is it all me? Simple answer no. It's part of me, you don't hear the boring details of my life ( well some anyway ) I don't post about the petty rows I have with James, or talking with the neighbours. You don't really see Terri the mam, you see some of that, but my real life is pretty mundane. In the same way very few people in RL see Terri the fangirl, and the few that do just think I'm weird. I know that and don't have a problem with it.
In this LJ I'm probably seesawing between RL and fangirl Terri. I know this changes from person to person. Some people are all fandom, no RL at all, some mostly RL with some fandom thrown in. But I don't tend to read those LJ's, I feel more comfortable with fans. If I want to be seen as a geek I'll talk to people in RL *g*
Only a few people in RL know that I'm a slasher, James knows and doesn't give a damn, but even he doesn't know what I read, he didn't even know I had two web sites until recently.
I feel comfortable talking in my LJ, maybe too much so sometimes. Sometimes I think I share too much about RL, but it's only on here that I'll talk about things. No one in RL knows how mad and scared and depressed I get sometimes about my family problems. I'm the oldest child, I have a kid of my own. They all look towards me to sort things out, and I do. So when I come on here and say things like, my dogs ill and I'm worried and people care, that means so much. But I'm always wondering if I go too far. Sometimes I've had comments from strangers and I'm jerked into the reality that I'm posting on an open forum and that could be a bad thing.
I censor for the fannish too. I get annoyed at so many things in fandom, but I don't name names because it would kill me if the person I mentioned read what I said and was hurt by it. I'm a total wimp that way, I can't bear thinking that something I've said or done has made people sad/mad. I'd never enter a flame war, and would never think of ever flaming anyone, despite itching to do it. I can be a total bitch, but there's only a few people that I dare let that bitchiness show. Poor Castalie gets the backlash of a lot of bitch sessions. So I bitch generally in my LJ and enjoy it, just hold back on specifics.
I also censor what I like in my LJ to some extent. I like *very* dark subject matter in stories, but don't feel comfortable saying what on here. Again I think only Castalie knows exactly what I do like. I also censor my popslash love severely. I'm still feeling my way on that one. I know that rps is such a big deal to some people that the few times that I've talked about it has been behind a cut. I know people say that it's my LJ and I should have what I want in it but I can't seem to do that.
I don't even know if this makes sense really, I've just been thinking what I use my LJ for. All I know is the person you see on here is probably the inner me. The outer me goes shopping and does the school run and entertains housefuls of kids. The inner me reads gay porn, writes things that would horrify my parents, gets depressed and angry crushes over boybands and pretty boys and knows more about kink than is good for her.
I just hope I don't come off as this melodramatic teeny that bitches and whines because I'm not really -- honest.
littledrop's journal. Self censorship and whether I use it in my LJ.I was reminded of the post when Castalie asked whether I was censoring my journal in a comment last night, and I was a little bit.
I suppose this comes back to the old argument of whether your LJ is there for you or other's entertainment. I suspect most people's instinct would be to say it's for their own benefit. But honestly, can anyone say that they don't write for other people at times?
Personally I use my LJ for so many things. To post stories, to rant and rave, to ask opinions. I never thought it would be so important to me. I've never had a diary in RL, so I didn't think I'd use it so much. But now I find that most days I'm on here.
Going back to the censorship point. Yes, this is me on here, but is it all me? Simple answer no. It's part of me, you don't hear the boring details of my life ( well some anyway ) I don't post about the petty rows I have with James, or talking with the neighbours. You don't really see Terri the mam, you see some of that, but my real life is pretty mundane. In the same way very few people in RL see Terri the fangirl, and the few that do just think I'm weird. I know that and don't have a problem with it.
In this LJ I'm probably seesawing between RL and fangirl Terri. I know this changes from person to person. Some people are all fandom, no RL at all, some mostly RL with some fandom thrown in. But I don't tend to read those LJ's, I feel more comfortable with fans. If I want to be seen as a geek I'll talk to people in RL *g*
Only a few people in RL know that I'm a slasher, James knows and doesn't give a damn, but even he doesn't know what I read, he didn't even know I had two web sites until recently.
I feel comfortable talking in my LJ, maybe too much so sometimes. Sometimes I think I share too much about RL, but it's only on here that I'll talk about things. No one in RL knows how mad and scared and depressed I get sometimes about my family problems. I'm the oldest child, I have a kid of my own. They all look towards me to sort things out, and I do. So when I come on here and say things like, my dogs ill and I'm worried and people care, that means so much. But I'm always wondering if I go too far. Sometimes I've had comments from strangers and I'm jerked into the reality that I'm posting on an open forum and that could be a bad thing.
I censor for the fannish too. I get annoyed at so many things in fandom, but I don't name names because it would kill me if the person I mentioned read what I said and was hurt by it. I'm a total wimp that way, I can't bear thinking that something I've said or done has made people sad/mad. I'd never enter a flame war, and would never think of ever flaming anyone, despite itching to do it. I can be a total bitch, but there's only a few people that I dare let that bitchiness show. Poor Castalie gets the backlash of a lot of bitch sessions. So I bitch generally in my LJ and enjoy it, just hold back on specifics.
I also censor what I like in my LJ to some extent. I like *very* dark subject matter in stories, but don't feel comfortable saying what on here. Again I think only Castalie knows exactly what I do like. I also censor my popslash love severely. I'm still feeling my way on that one. I know that rps is such a big deal to some people that the few times that I've talked about it has been behind a cut. I know people say that it's my LJ and I should have what I want in it but I can't seem to do that.
I don't even know if this makes sense really, I've just been thinking what I use my LJ for. All I know is the person you see on here is probably the inner me. The outer me goes shopping and does the school run and entertains housefuls of kids. The inner me reads gay porn, writes things that would horrify my parents, gets depressed and angry crushes over boybands and pretty boys and knows more about kink than is good for her.
I just hope I don't come off as this melodramatic teeny that bitches and whines because I'm not really -- honest.
