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Nov. 15th, 2005 10:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
turpsMan, I love you people. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
stellamira wrote me Cramp! Cramp which has made me laugh so much this morning. I was going to quote some of my favourite parts but I love it all. Therefore, as I don't want this masterpiece buried in comments, read it
The other guys thought Chris was crazy, being addicted to his lava lamp that much, but the truth was that the lamp loved him back. It must be, since Chris couldn't remember the last time a partner of his had been so nice to him. In the dark, Lamp always showed him the way, and if he put him in his bed before he went to sleep, Lamp would heat up his pillow and make it all warm and cozy.
The sex was great, too. Unlike JC, for example, Lamp actually understood the concept of "foreplay". With JC, you just had to push a few buttons and he went off in five minutes tops. With Lamp, Chris only had to push one button, and it took Lamp at least thirty minutes to get hot enough – though Chris never ceased to try to turn him on a little faster, stroking the base or licking the glass. During foreplay, Lamp produced wonderful streaks of wax rising up from the bottom, only to have them collapse again before forming the most gorgeous bubbles Chris had ever seen. Lamp would watch while Chris masturbated, looking at his beautiful Lamp bubbling excitedly on the bedside table.
Sometimes, however, Chris had to admit, Lamp was a bit creepy. Once in a while, Chris woke up with Lamp's cable coiled around his wrist – which was nice enough; Chris loved it when Lamp got so relaxed to snuggle up to him. But once Chris had woken up to the cable tugging on his balls, Lamp lying side by side with Chris' dick on his belly, which resulted in one of their hottest sex ever. Still he couldn't help worrying that one day he'd wake up with the cable around his neck. He guessed it was fine, however, as long as they didn't break up.
Okay, so it might not be the most perfect relationship ever – it was a little one-sided for one and Lamp always refused to accompany him to any of Chris' appearances – but it was true love, and that, Chris supposed, was what counted in the end.
The end.
I hope you don't mind, Mira, but I thought it was genius!
Also, Kim suggested there should be Cramp icons, so yeah....
Okay, I think I'd better go now *g*
stellamira wrote me Cramp! Cramp which has made me laugh so much this morning. I was going to quote some of my favourite parts but I love it all. Therefore, as I don't want this masterpiece buried in comments, read it The other guys thought Chris was crazy, being addicted to his lava lamp that much, but the truth was that the lamp loved him back. It must be, since Chris couldn't remember the last time a partner of his had been so nice to him. In the dark, Lamp always showed him the way, and if he put him in his bed before he went to sleep, Lamp would heat up his pillow and make it all warm and cozy.
The sex was great, too. Unlike JC, for example, Lamp actually understood the concept of "foreplay". With JC, you just had to push a few buttons and he went off in five minutes tops. With Lamp, Chris only had to push one button, and it took Lamp at least thirty minutes to get hot enough – though Chris never ceased to try to turn him on a little faster, stroking the base or licking the glass. During foreplay, Lamp produced wonderful streaks of wax rising up from the bottom, only to have them collapse again before forming the most gorgeous bubbles Chris had ever seen. Lamp would watch while Chris masturbated, looking at his beautiful Lamp bubbling excitedly on the bedside table.
Sometimes, however, Chris had to admit, Lamp was a bit creepy. Once in a while, Chris woke up with Lamp's cable coiled around his wrist – which was nice enough; Chris loved it when Lamp got so relaxed to snuggle up to him. But once Chris had woken up to the cable tugging on his balls, Lamp lying side by side with Chris' dick on his belly, which resulted in one of their hottest sex ever. Still he couldn't help worrying that one day he'd wake up with the cable around his neck. He guessed it was fine, however, as long as they didn't break up.
Okay, so it might not be the most perfect relationship ever – it was a little one-sided for one and Lamp always refused to accompany him to any of Chris' appearances – but it was true love, and that, Chris supposed, was what counted in the end.
The end.
I hope you don't mind, Mira, but I thought it was genius!
Also, Kim suggested there should be Cramp icons, so yeah....
Okay, I think I'd better go now *g*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2005-11-15 10:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 11:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 10:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 11:04 am (UTC)Mira's awesome!
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Date: 2005-11-15 11:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 11:25 am (UTC)Cramp is a thing of beauty! Cramp is love! Cramp is....okay, it's insane, I know this *g*
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Date: 2005-11-15 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 12:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 01:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 01:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 01:28 pm (UTC)Although at least it's not Lance's disembodied cock monster, your description of which is Even More Disturbing if you're a Red Dwarf fan ...
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Date: 2005-11-15 11:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 12:05 pm (UTC)I opened the comment and spent about ten minutes just laughing. It's so perfect!
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Date: 2005-11-15 12:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 01:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 03:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 11:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 12:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 01:07 pm (UTC)*collapses into JC-like giggles*
*hiccup*
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Date: 2005-11-15 01:13 pm (UTC)I love this so so much!
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Date: 2005-11-15 02:10 pm (UTC)*collapses into giggles again*
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Date: 2005-11-15 01:41 pm (UTC)I don't know, I can't help but worry. Does this relationship have a future?
And the icon - applause!
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Date: 2005-11-15 02:48 pm (UTC)And the icon - applause!
Thank you! I should really upload it *g*
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Date: 2005-11-15 02:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 02:49 pm (UTC)You know trickc is my OTP!
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Date: 2005-11-15 05:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 02:46 pm (UTC)I love it so much!
And you used the icon to go with it!
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Date: 2005-11-15 02:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 02:55 pm (UTC)I have to memory this post because the comments are cracking me up.
But yes, poor Chris in his destructive relationship. Lance really needs to swoop down and save him!
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Date: 2005-11-15 04:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-15 05:40 pm (UTC)Thank you again :)
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Date: 2005-11-15 04:14 pm (UTC)*smooch* Rock on, you :)
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Date: 2005-11-15 05:39 pm (UTC)*smooches you*
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Date: 2005-11-16 12:39 am (UTC)I want you to know I actually screamed, twice. One while seeing the icon and once reading the fic.
This is the kind of stuff that makes me love popslash-the weird, whacky shit we come up with. I don't think I stopped laughing for two years, during the peak. This is like that.
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Date: 2005-11-23 02:36 pm (UTC)The cracked out stuff is a reason I love popslash too, no fandom has ever approached the insanity of this one. Yet it works somehow, which is something that always amazes me.