(no subject)
Jun. 19th, 2006 06:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
turpsOkay, I've studied the crackfic poll. Compared and contrasted figures, and now present the findings.
Which are behind
First, the most important question. Which is most cracked out. Ass babies or lamps. Drum roll please......
The winner on 53% is... Lamp!
Lamp brought along some friends to accept the award, and had this to say.
This is such an honour. Years ago everyone thought I was washed up. The star of one story and then back into obscurity. But I never gave up. I knew my time would come again. I wasn't going to let all that practice easing into tight holes go to waste. The last year has been the busiest of my life. I've worked with such great directors as Mira, Pen, Kim, A. I've learned so much under them, and they've catapulted me back into the big time. Of course, I couldn't have done this without my co stars. Chris, love ya, baby. Popping your lamp cherry was a privilege. Lance. You manipulated me like a pro. I know you and your new Lamp have a great future. JC. You were there at the start. I knew then you were destined for great things. Joey, what can I say? You're the best. Justin, we'll get you sometime. And of course I have to thank my fans. Without you I'd be nothing.
Many names were put forward for Jussy and Josh's darling assbaby. I present the list here, and believe me. You people who suggested Joshty or variants of it, and there were a few of you. SCARRED ME FOR LIFE!
The list is: Lynn, Winne, Crystina Lance Josephine, Lynn Karen Timberlake-Chasez, alASStair, Joshty, Princess Diamond Jewel, Asslyn, Jeferson, Joshtina, Jushy, J....., It'sgonnabeMar Assbaby Timberlake.Chasez, Jucia, Malibu, Josty, Noassatall, Assie, KFed, Spud, Joshty.
With much deliberation I say, Joshy has to win for male assbaby *whimpers* And for the female assbaby, Asslyn. Ass = Lynn, it's a sign!
It's a sad thing. Justin's ass hasn't sprung back yet. His man boobs are engorged, he's exhausted and assbaby just won't stop crying. To make things worse JC is horny. At the end of his tether, Justin tells him to go with someone else to take the edge off. What does JC do?
It seems 37% of people want Josh to stay in and massage J's engorged moobs. An answer which led to a most insane comment conversation about Josh tit fucking them. Which hello, you people are insane! Because obviously the answer was JC should take the expressed milk, go to Chris' house, cover him in said milk and then lick it off!
Lance needs someone, so Lamp is playing matchmaker. Which of these friends should he hook Lance up with?
It seems 37% of people agree Lance's ideal partner is a cucumber. Lance wants me to pass on this message.
Please, a cucumber?! Slap it between a crusty baguette and only then are you approaching my needs.
He did try one date with cucumber though.
Sadly it didn't work out and the last I saw he was walking away with the trumpet and talking about how he can blow without lips. I have no idea, man.
Oh no! Lance was getting hot and heavy with his new date, but forgot the lube! Chris helps him hobble to the ER. What excuse does he spin to explain Lance's sorry state?
It seems people are used to this kind of event, for most everyone had the ready prepared, I tripped and fell excuse. Lance wants you to know Chris used that excuse, and thank you for getting him out of a tight spot. Chris wants you to know Lance is gonna be featured on 'What was Found Where!?' on the fifteenth of next month and be sure to set your videos for lovely x rays of Lance's ass.
Special mention goes to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nopseud who offered this excuse. He misunderstood his mom when she said he should try a salad shooter
Is there anything above lamps and ass babies on the cracked out scale? If yes feel free to tell me in comments.
60% said yes, but didn't explain what that was in comments. You're all pussies! ;)
Finally. I asked for favourite crackfics, and this is the list I was given.
The Lava Lamp story pic edition.
Things To Do in Orlando When You're Dead.
Here Kitty Kitty
Lance turning into a couch.
JC kitten who needs his morning milk. Here Kitty Kitty
In the Blink of an Eye Alien Ass Babies!!!
Michelle X's Kevin/JC
A Mary Sue who breast fed the fellowship
The original Lava Lamp story!
I have links for most of them but my kidlet just wiped out on his bike and needs cuddle time. So, I'll be back to add later. In the meantime, if anyone has the links to hand, or more links to add, comment away. Crackfic is fun!
Thank you to everyone who took the poll. It's a pleasure to know such cracktastic people :D
Which are behind
First, the most important question. Which is most cracked out. Ass babies or lamps. Drum roll please......
The winner on 53% is... Lamp!
Lamp brought along some friends to accept the award, and had this to say.
This is such an honour. Years ago everyone thought I was washed up. The star of one story and then back into obscurity. But I never gave up. I knew my time would come again. I wasn't going to let all that practice easing into tight holes go to waste. The last year has been the busiest of my life. I've worked with such great directors as Mira, Pen, Kim, A. I've learned so much under them, and they've catapulted me back into the big time. Of course, I couldn't have done this without my co stars. Chris, love ya, baby. Popping your lamp cherry was a privilege. Lance. You manipulated me like a pro. I know you and your new Lamp have a great future. JC. You were there at the start. I knew then you were destined for great things. Joey, what can I say? You're the best. Justin, we'll get you sometime. And of course I have to thank my fans. Without you I'd be nothing.
Many names were put forward for Jussy and Josh's darling assbaby. I present the list here, and believe me. You people who suggested Joshty or variants of it, and there were a few of you. SCARRED ME FOR LIFE!
The list is: Lynn, Winne, Crystina Lance Josephine, Lynn Karen Timberlake-Chasez, alASStair, Joshty, Princess Diamond Jewel, Asslyn, Jeferson, Joshtina, Jushy, J....., It'sgonnabeMar Assbaby Timberlake.Chasez, Jucia, Malibu, Josty, Noassatall, Assie, KFed, Spud, Joshty.
With much deliberation I say, Joshy has to win for male assbaby *whimpers* And for the female assbaby, Asslyn. Ass = Lynn, it's a sign!
It's a sad thing. Justin's ass hasn't sprung back yet. His man boobs are engorged, he's exhausted and assbaby just won't stop crying. To make things worse JC is horny. At the end of his tether, Justin tells him to go with someone else to take the edge off. What does JC do?
It seems 37% of people want Josh to stay in and massage J's engorged moobs. An answer which led to a most insane comment conversation about Josh tit fucking them. Which hello, you people are insane! Because obviously the answer was JC should take the expressed milk, go to Chris' house, cover him in said milk and then lick it off!
Lance needs someone, so Lamp is playing matchmaker. Which of these friends should he hook Lance up with?
It seems 37% of people agree Lance's ideal partner is a cucumber. Lance wants me to pass on this message.
Please, a cucumber?! Slap it between a crusty baguette and only then are you approaching my needs.
He did try one date with cucumber though.
Sadly it didn't work out and the last I saw he was walking away with the trumpet and talking about how he can blow without lips. I have no idea, man.
Oh no! Lance was getting hot and heavy with his new date, but forgot the lube! Chris helps him hobble to the ER. What excuse does he spin to explain Lance's sorry state?
It seems people are used to this kind of event, for most everyone had the ready prepared, I tripped and fell excuse. Lance wants you to know Chris used that excuse, and thank you for getting him out of a tight spot. Chris wants you to know Lance is gonna be featured on 'What was Found Where!?' on the fifteenth of next month and be sure to set your videos for lovely x rays of Lance's ass.
Special mention goes to
nopseud who offered this excuse. He misunderstood his mom when she said he should try a salad shooter Is there anything above lamps and ass babies on the cracked out scale? If yes feel free to tell me in comments.
60% said yes, but didn't explain what that was in comments. You're all pussies! ;)
Finally. I asked for favourite crackfics, and this is the list I was given.
The Lava Lamp story pic edition.
Things To Do in Orlando When You're Dead.
Here Kitty Kitty
Lance turning into a couch.
JC kitten who needs his morning milk. Here Kitty Kitty
In the Blink of an Eye Alien Ass Babies!!!
Michelle X's Kevin/JC
A Mary Sue who breast fed the fellowship
The original Lava Lamp story!
I have links for most of them but my kidlet just wiped out on his bike and needs cuddle time. So, I'll be back to add later. In the meantime, if anyone has the links to hand, or more links to add, comment away. Crackfic is fun!
Thank you to everyone who took the poll. It's a pleasure to know such cracktastic people :D
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 05:44 pm (UTC)YOU DID THIS JUST TO FREAK ME OUT. OH MY GOD MY BRAIN.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 06:14 pm (UTC)And yes, I embrace the CRACKtastic!
ASS BABIES!
And man, I can't believe I missed the moob fuckin' conversation! That's a fic that so needs to be written!
What?
Dude, do NOT look at me!
ASSLYNN
Date: 2006-06-19 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 06:50 pm (UTC)(Ahahahahaha omg this icon is too perfect. CUCUMBER!)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 07:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 08:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 08:55 pm (UTC)Also, the picture of dear little assbaby made me laugh so hard my throat hurts.
You are obviously a Bad, Bad Person. I'm so proud to know you.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 09:58 pm (UTC)you're insaneI just love your brain.(Joshty is so ugly, I think I'm going to cry.)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 11:19 pm (UTC)p.s. You are insane. Don't ever change.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-20 10:07 am (UTC)I will however be setting the TIVO for the 15th...
You are brilliant and Asslyn and the cucumber picture will need to be scrubbed from my brain.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-20 06:37 pm (UTC)PS I still love you, even though you're the most cracked-out person I have ever had the privilege of knowing :-)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-22 10:02 pm (UTC)Dude, you'd rock the moob fucking story! You know you'd do it justice!
Re: ASSLYNN
Date: 2006-06-22 10:03 pm (UTC)Hee. You're awesome too!
no subject
Date: 2006-06-22 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-22 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-22 10:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-22 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-22 10:08 pm (UTC)You are insane. Don't ever change.
It's the company I keep that drove me this way ;)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-22 10:10 pm (UTC)Poor Asslyn, no one sees his special beauty ;)
no subject
Date: 2006-06-22 10:11 pm (UTC)*smooch* Love you right back.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-22 10:21 pm (UTC)*facpalm*
I just got a mental flash of TrickyFish moob fucking.
*cries*
There's going to be a sequel. It's impossible to ignore the crack.
oh gawd, I need to seek professional help.
no subject
Date: 2006-06-22 10:26 pm (UTC)SQUEE!!!!
no subject
Date: 2006-06-22 11:12 pm (UTC)