(no subject)

[turps]

I've been writing today, and it's not going well. I've actually done three pages but I suspect they're not that good. I keep getting tied up with things. I'm writing Daryl and his grief is making me feel sad. I try to distance myself but it's not working. He was remembering singing in the car before everything happened, Simon was complaining about the rock music and Daryl was laughing at him. Then Daryl flashed to Simon dead on the floor, and I kept tearing up. Not good.

Then I realised that I really need a time line doing as they're about to find someone and I don't know if it's possible that he can still be alive. Not that he lives for much longer. Man, I'm becoming the bringer of death. Fear the author as she will kill you. They'll ask for stories at Storyfinders with the biggest death count and mine will be right there lol.

But yes, this guy has to die and I'm not sure if he could have survived that long trapped like Blair was. Maybe he could have been pulled out and is slowly dying of internal injuries. Might have to google how long you can live with internal bleeding.

I'm also wondering if there's some kind of river in Cascade. I have this scene planned where they actually get to wash, they're all a bit manky and dirty just now. Actually maybe a stream would do. They wash, then the sex, the argument, the make up, the dog, travelling on, the discovery, the reunion, the talk, the death, the grief again, the end. Then we move to happier times!

Lol, you've all helped again. Back to the misery.

Comments

writing

[patk.livejournal.com]

Well, if you start feeling sad when writing about Daryl, that's the best way to make sure your readers will feel similar. *g*

I made the experience that a lack of feeling on my side when writing, usually results in a lack of feeling on the reader's side. *g*

So... keep crying for the sake of the story-quality. *g*

Does he have to have internal bleeding to die? Couldn't you construct another reason? How long are they on their way when they find that guy?

Bleeding to death doesn't needs days. It can just need minutes and hours at best, depending on which blood vessel is spilling the blood.

Maybe another cause of death would fit better into your time-line. :-)

How about an blood-infection?

I once had an blood-infection from a really tiny wound and the infection needed for developing two days. The day it happened and by the evening the other day the red stripe that indicated blood-infection was clearly to be seen. Medication put a stop on it, but without medication this thing is deadly.

So, how much time do you need?

About the river. With the earth-shattering explosions, I would think that most of the water-pipes are damaged too and water may still be easily available, although spilling in unexpected places (hydrants etc. etc) until the source runs dry, which would depent on how the water-supplies of Cascade are working.

Pat

:-)

water

[patk.livejournal.com]

Forget to mention:

Wouldn't at least Jim and Joel know where the waterworks are located? There still may be left a rest of drinking water. I don't see the water source as such a problem as long as they are still in Cascade.

If they go out of Cascade: We know Jim and Blair went fishing (Poachers), so there is at least one stream outside of Cascade. Of course, don't ask me how far outside. *g*

Pat

:-)

Re: water

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't at least Jim and Joel know where the waterworks are located? There still may be left a rest of drinking water. I don't see the water source as such a problem as long as they are still in Cascade.

Yes, they would. Something else to think about.

Thanks Pat, you always help so much!

Re: water

[patk.livejournal.com]

Hey, no problem. I *like* to think about stories and possible twists. *g* It's the pure fun for me. :-)

Pat

:-)

Re: writing

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Pat, you give the best comments, and always make me think. I don't know how you do it!

Well, if you start feeling sad when writing about Daryl, that's the best way to make sure your readers will feel similar. *g*

Yeah, I guess, just it was hard to write when I was depressing myself *g* But it's going well now *crosses fingers*

Does he have to have internal bleeding to die? Couldn't you construct another reason? How long are they on their way when they find that guy?

No he doesn't. I just know that he has to die once Jim gets to the house, and be awake enough for Jim to talk to him first. I like your idea of an infection, I can see it raging out of control and there's nothing they can do. Yes, great idea. As for how long, lets think. Blair was trapped 3 days, I day travelling back with Jim, 1 day till they met Simon, he died the day after. Add another day when they travel again to the new place. I think that's right. That's why I really need to write a time line. So yes, plenty of time for an infection to rage out of control.

Hmmm hydrants. That would work too, let them fill their water bottles and clean up. I wonder if Jim would risk drinking that water, they don't know what's happened so the water could be tainted. Wonder if he could pick radiation etc.

Moving onto your next comment.

Re: writing

[patk.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your kind words, but it's simply fun for me. *g*

So we're looking at a time-range of about 6 days when they finally find that guy? Okay, you'll have to look up the time-line of an infection but I guess you have a lot of leeway here, since it heavily depents on the immune-system of the person in question how fast they'll die of that.

And for the possibility that the water from a hydrant could be tainted:

First, it's flowing. I guess they wouldn't go for a *still* water because, contradictory to floating water, it becomes bad way faster. (And what about bottled water from the supermarkets? Any undamaged bottles left? *g* That would be the most secure choice) So, the water from a hydrant would be the choice over a water source where the water is not moving.

Second, perfect opportunity to put Jim's senses to good use. *g* Come to think of it, would judging the water-quality by sight, smell and taste not naturally fall into the responsibility of a tribe-sentinel? Water is a basic need and to me it seems perfectly logical that finding and judging the water quality would be one of the most important tasks for a sentinel.

In any case, I would trust the judgment of a sentinel about the water-quality anytime more than the judgment of another person.

And for radiation, yes, he would. Remember "Red Dust". He could feel the radiation on the jewelry of that russian guy. *g* This is canon, so I think it wouldn't be much of a stretch to think that he could sense the radiation on water too. *g*

Pat

:-)

time-line and survivor

[(Anonymous)]

StarWatcher again.

Yes, you need to check the time-line. I thought Jim didn't find Blair until the 5th day, a day back to the others, wasn't it two days before they found Simon? One day or two before the accident that killed Simon? You already used the phrase "week and a half" for the possible survivor in the ruined house; you can't go back and make this less time. So, you need to go back and make a time-line, then keep adding to it.

(When you make it, send it to me, and I'll make sure you stay on track)

surviving -- if the man had minimal movement, but *couldn't escape*, and there was a source of water for him, he could easily last two or three weeks. Say, a break-room area, with large jugs of water for the bottled-water dispenser. If he had a badly-broken leg or something, he could drag himself to the water (maybe a snack machine, too?) and still be alive, but now the leg has turned gangrenous and it's in the last stages...

Linda

canon river in Cascade

[(Anonymous)]

StarWatcher again.

Yes! I'm watching/copying "Deep Water". Remember Jack's body wasn't in the car?

Dialogue from the transcript --
"The car was pulled from the river"
"the river's currents would pull him from the car and take him downstream"
"that one was found in a tributary almost nine miles downstream."
"all the rains? The rivers were overflowing?"

So, at least one large river, and several smaller tributaries. You have your river!

Linda