Popslash: Hi De Woe 2/2

[turps]

It's the rain that wakes Justin. The drops hitting the metal roof creating a thud of sound that has him squinting at his watch before pulling the blanket above his head. It doesn't help, even muffled the noise is horrendous and eventually he admits defeat and crawls out of the bottom of his bed, bypassing the jumble of clothes, comics and discarded blankets that are lying in the gap at the side. He gives a last resentful look at Lance, who's curled up and unmoving under a white sheet, and then pushes open the door. Seeing the bathroom is empty he goes inside, pees and then washes his hands. Still half asleep he stumbles to the main living area, and sees Nick sitting on the couch, legs tucked underneath him as he eats cereal and watches the muted TV.

"Hey." Nick chews slowly and sighs when the weather forecast comes on screen. Black rain clouds are covering half of England and it doesn't look like they're going anytime soon.

"If you're hungry I think Jason left some stuff in the fridge. Not that I'd recommend eating it." Nick frowns down at his bowl, like the milk has pissed him off somehow. "Or you could have a burger, I didn't finish them yesterday."

Justin's stomach churns at the thought of eating cold greasy fast food for breakfast. "No man, but thanks. I'll get something at the shop."

"Any time."

Nick drains the last of the milk out of his bowl and sets it on the floor. "I'd better go, pools to watch and whistles to blow." He stands and steps into a pair of flip flops and pulls on a yellow Turplins coat. With his matching shorts he's almost glowing, and he laughs when he catches Justin staring. "I know, I look like some kind of fisherman."

"A fisherman with jaundice," Justin says.

Nick looks at himself in the mirror that's propped on one of the narrow shelves. "I make jaundice look good." He grins and winks at Justin. "If you see Jack tell that fucker he's a wanker."

Nick pulls up his hood and leaves before he says why, not that it means much because Justin hasn't ever seen Jack and wouldn't know if he passed him in the street. If it wasn't for the rustles and soft voices from the bedroom the night before he would have been doubting if Jack and Maxwell existed at all. Deciding not to worry about the message, Justin sits on the couch so he can look out the window. Watching Nick until he's nothing but a yellow shape, the splashing rain blurring any distinct lines.

Justin feels lethargic, sleep still lingering as he yawns and looks at the TV. There's a new show beginning now, something that involves a lot of kids, their mouths open with muted yells. Ears ringing with remembered sound, Justin looks away. He picks up an old newspaper and flicks through the pages, scanning news that's already out of date. When he finds himself reading about a protest about beach donkey rights he puts the newspaper to the side.

Momentarily he considers tidying up a little. Nick's bowl is on the floor and there's a new layer of dirty dishes on top of the ones he saw the day before. It's all kinds of disgusting and Justin's skin itches when he imagines what might be crawling through the rubbish or growing on the plates that are stacked in the sink. It's that thought that makes him sneak back into his bedroom. Grabbing a pair of trousers and a hoodie he dresses and then pulls out his oldest trainers and rain coat, putting them on before stepping outside.

Within seconds Justin's drenched, his hair plastered to his head and his trousers clinging to his legs. But it's not a bad feeling, because for the first time in days Justin feels cool and he's humming as he walks on the drenched grass. The heavy scent of flowers fills the air and he feels energised, alive, and he can't resist jumping into a puddle, sending water flying to all sides.

"It's the kind of day that needs an umbrella and a pole."

Justin stands still and water seeps through his trainers and he can feel rain stream down his neck. He runs his hand over his forehead but there's no point trying to tidy himself up, because of course he'd bump into JC while looking like a drowned rat. Of course. Because Justin's not like JC, who's just as wet but looks good anyway. His hair slicked back and a thin chain belt wrapped around his hips. It's not fair and Justin tries to think what to say while trying to work out what JC means, because an umbrella and a pole?

Smiling, JC mines putting up an umbrella. "You know, like in Singing in the Rain? Days like this are made for spinning around a lamppost."

If Justin's honest, he'd say rainy days are for grilled cheese and tomato soup, but if JC thinks singing, well who's Justin to disagree? "Spinning is good."

"Spinning is fantastic."

JC holds out his arms and spins once, and Justin's got no idea what's happening, if JC is taking the mick somehow or if he genuinely likes spinning in circles in wet fields. Then decides that yes, apparently JC does when he runs to a nearby lamp post and grabs hold. Turning in a circle, he begins to sing Singing in the Rain, water splashing under his feet as he sings loudly, uncaring of who can hear.

As a veteran of the child audition circuits Justin had thought he'd seen everything, but this is way up there as the most surreal. It's obvious that JC's enjoying himself, holding up an imaginary umbrella and attempting tap moves that really don't work but do create arching splashes of water. Then there's his smile, bright and wide and when JC looks at him Justin can feel his stomach clench at how good JC looks. He's one of the most beautiful and fascinating people that Justin has ever met.

He wants to talk and ask if JC dances in the rain often, find out what music he likes and why he's working at a holiday camp when after just this short burst of song Justin can see he's capable of so much more. Justin has a thousand questions, but each time he thinks about asking he remembers Chris. How he was feeding JC rock and how they left together, Chris' hand casually against the small of JC's back.

JC stops spinning. One hand still wrapped around the pole he looks at Justin and asks, "Do you sing?"

It's the opening Justin's been waiting for and there's thousands of words on his tongue. How he's sang for years and how he's determined to break into the business one day, even if that means starting from the bottom up. But the words remain rooted in his mouth, blocked by the observations of how JC's t-shirt is clinging and how tiny droplets of water sparkle on the tips of his eyelashes. Justin can't help taking in every detail and he feels tongue-tied and younger than he's felt for years.

Finally, when things are heading toward awkward he says, "A little."

"Cool." JC says. "Come sing with me."

Justin taps his foot gently, feeling the squelch of soggy earth. Normally he wouldn't hesitate about singing, but here? In a downpour in a field surrounded by caravans with the hottest guy he's ever seen? Justin can't help feeling a little hesitant.

It's a hesitation that costs. Before Justin can open his mouth to say yes, JC's grinning at something over Justin's shoulder and when Justin hears the sound of footsteps he turns to see Chris. He's holding a small ladybird umbrella above his head and his jeans are soaked to the knees. He's also unshaven and his hair is flat against his head apart from one tuft at the back. Really, Justin doesn't understand what JC sees in him.

"Hey, Justin." Chris stands next to JC and lifts his arm so the umbrella is almost covering them both. "You left your coat and I saw you dancing, one day the men in the white coats will take you away."

"At least I had my clothes on," JC says.

"One time.One, and you still bring it up."

"What do you expect?" JC laughs and rests his arm over Chris' shoulders. "It's legendary. Debbie from guest services is still traumatised."

"She shouldn't have been looking."

"She didn't have much choice considering you were dancing outside her living room window." JC is laughing louder now, and he turns to Justin, ready to launch into a story. "We had this party, right. Celebrating the end of Easter week, because seriously. Those religious types are the worst. Not that I'm against organised religion, everyone's entitled to do their own thing and if that means worshipping God in an organised way, well, good for them, but each year they bring all these spawns of the devil. Like, demons in child form. I did a show and one of them threw a Snickers bar at me. Like, so much for Christian values you know? Because I know the bible doesn't say to throw chocolate at performers."

"Before we all get wet rot, what JC's saying is we had a party when they went."

"Hey," JC protests and jabs Chris in the side with his elbow. "I was coming to that. So yeah, we had a party and Chris got plastered, so much so he ended up dancing starkers in the rain. I'll show you the pictures one day. Not that there's much to see."

"Hey, rain and cold," Chris says. "And you know you couldn't have done a somersault naked."

Which isn't a mental image Justin wants at all, and he's feeling very much like the third-wheel as Chris and JC grin at one another as they remember moments that Justin can only second-hand share.

"I need. Erm, stuff. From the shop." Justin starts to walk away and immediately JC and Chris follow, moving so they're either side of Justin. Chris is still holding up the umbrella, stretching up so it's over Justin's head. Not that it gives much shelter because Chris seems incapable of actually holding it still. Instead the spokes keep poking Justin in the head and he keeps having to duck as JC and Chris talk around him.

Not that he minds because it's actually an interesting discussion, and despite the lingering feeling of being the outsider, Justin enjoys listening to JC bitch about the stage director and Chris describe the new routine he needs to learn. He's especially scathing about the use of new props.

"Because seriously? What am I supposed to do with a space hopper? I know I've got a fine arse but I don't want to parade it by bouncing on a giant fucking ball."

Despite himself, Justin looks down, and yeah, Chris does has a good arse.

"I don't know, I think a routine on space hoppers could be good," JC says, grinning when he sees where Justin's looking.

"So you do it then. Leave the bright lights of Star Stage and come dance with us again."

JC snorts. "As if."

"If you all had space hoppers you could do some cool weaves." Justin runs his hand over his head when both JC and Chris look at him, waiting for him to say more. Imagining the Street Gang on space hoppers, Justin tries to explain what he's seeing. "Like, criss-crossing on the stage, and if all five of you were doing that it would have fantastic visual impact. Like a moving ocean of colours."

"Right," Chris says, and he sounds dubious, but he keeps looking at Justin, considering. "It could work. I'll mention the idea to Wade."

It's more than Justin expected and he can't help feeling pleased, especially when JC flashes him a quick thumbs up. "Like a sparkling rainbow ocean."

"Or five idiots in weird costumes playing on kids toys."

JC sighs and reaches around Justin to dig Chris in the side. "Way to shatter the illusion."

Chris raises an eyebrow. "That shattered years ago."

"It's been years, you need to get over the fact that Kevin wasn't hung like a horse."

Justin blinks and tries to keep up with the conversation. "Kevin? Like ballroom dancer, Kevin?"

"That's the one," JC says. "Chris slept with him two seasons ago. Camp gossip said Kevin was hung, but it turns out he's more pony than horse."

"I was so disappointed." Chris shakes his head sadly. "But one thing, he knows what to do with it."

"We know. He made you howl like a monkey and come so hard you about passed out." JC leans close to Justin, talking directly into his ear. "Tell you a secret. It doesn't take much. Chris doesn't have much stamina."

It takes all of Justin's willpower to keep his expression blank, because seriously? He's known Chris and JC for all of a few days, and they're discussing their sex lives as casually as they would the weather. Justin's used to his friends bragging as they allude
to things they've supposedly done, or the euphemisms as said by his mum. Not this blatant sharing of intimate details that force him to think of Chris having sex with JC.

"I heard that you bastard," Chris says. "No coffee for you."

"Just kidding, man." JC holds up his hands, but his broad grin makes a lie of the placating gesture. "You're like the little engine that could, always keeping going."

Chris frowns. "Did you just compare me to a steam train?"

"I did. You're compact and sturdy with a fiery center and a tendency to being noisy."

"Right," Chris says, and gives JC a long look. "I guess I can live with that. Maybe I will buy you a coffee."

"And a muffin too?"

"Bleed me dry why don't you?" Affecting a long suffering sigh, Chris looks at Justin. "Are you coming with?"

Justin hadn't intended to. He'd planned to go to the shop and stock up on some basic groceries before heading back to the caravan. Still, he's not about to say no, even if he does think Chris is a dick. Well mostly. Justin has to admit he's funny sometimes. When he hasn't got his hands on JC anyway, which is like, eighty percent of the time.

"Are you buying me coffee too?" Justin can't resist asking, and he's glad he did when Chris shakes his head, his mouth curling up into a smile.

"Cheeky toerag, I shouldn't, but yeah."

They're at the entrance to the plaza now, and when they walk inside the floor is slippery and the air muggy from drying clothes. Justin wipes at his face and wrings out his hoodie over the mats on the floor and take a jump to the side to avoid being speared by Chris' umbrella when he folds it up. The only guests are queuing to get into the restaurant for the first breakfast sitting, but the small cafe is open, the guy from the werewolf caravan leaning over the counter as he sends a text message on his phone.

JC waves as they walk to a table, selecting one that's close to the cafe but also sheltered by one of the potted palm trees. He sits and uses his t-shirt to wipe at his face, not that it does much good as it's soaked through. Justin changes direction and grabs a handful of napkins, giving them to JC.

"Thanks, man." JC starts to mop at his face, dropping the soggy napkins on the table when he's done. He looks over at Chris who's blotting at his own clothes, the umbrella hooked over his arm and talking to the guy behind the counter, who keeps drinking from his own mug of coffee as he scalds milk and selects muffins from the case.

It's not exactly comfortable sitting in wet clothes, but Justin's enjoying the easy atmosphere, the way JC's leaning back in his chair, head back as he looks up at all the balloons that are gathered at the top of the dome. There are unicorns and Alfred the alpacas and one lonely Thomas the Tank and Justin wonders how they get down. Like, is there someone who walks around with a pellet gun?

"They drift down on their own," JC says suddenly. Justin looks at him, suspecting mind reading abilities. JC just smiles. "You were looking at the balloons and everyone asks eventually. They just come down eventually, then they're binned."

Justin had watched the balloon seller the night before, the way he walked around the plaza, holding tightly to the strings of the huge bunch of balloons that floated above his head, and remembers being astonished at how much they cost. "It's a lot of money for something that's no real use."

"They're pretty and make people happy, that's all the use needed sometimes."

"I guess," Justin says, and he pushes out a chair with his foot when Chris walks over carrying a tray with three coffees and muffins.

"Mikey added some vanilla shot shit, he says you'll like it."

Looking pleased, JC grabs the cup with the smiley face drawn on the side and takes a sip. Then another. He looks over at the counter with a big smile. "I love it, thank you!"

The guy smiles back, the slightest curve of his mouth and then goes back to texting. Justin picks up his own coffee, Pancake bitch written on the side, and takes a drink. It's bitter and scalds his tongue and he'd say that normally he takes milk and sugar but he reminds himself he's a grown up now, and grown ups drink black coffee. He takes another sip and tries to hide his grimace.

"For fuck's sake." Chris stands and goes for a handful of little plastic pots of milk and packets of sugar. He hands them to Justin. "None of you have good taste in coffee."

Justin ignores him and concentrates on making his coffee drinkable. He takes a sip and this time his coffee is perfect. Which, another plus for Chris. Maybe he isn't bad after all.

~*~*~*~

Three days later and Justin's just finished work when he meets Lance and Joey waiting outside the plaza. They both smile and Justin can't help feeling nervous. There's something suspicious in the way they're looking at him and Justin slows down, trying to work out what's going on.

"Justin." Joey wraps his arm around Justin's neck. "There's certain responsibilities in being a member of Turplins staff. It's time you faced the first."

They start walking, and Justin's unease increases when they take a path that goes nowhere near the caravans or pub. It snakes past the children's play park and the paddling pool and Justin wants to shake Joey and demand he says what's going on already. But Joey remains silent, and there's just the sound of breathing, muffled music coming from Star Stage, distant laughter, and then, the unmistakable sound of a goat.

"The fuck?" Justin stops walking, and Joey's hand is warm against his back, keeping him in place as Lance turns so he can address them both.

"If you've read your orientation pack, you'll know back in 1906 Terrance Turplins went on a great expedition to the Andes. While there disaster struck and he was lost in the mountains. Weak and alone he staggered through snow storms and rugged terrain, finally collapsing on the morning of the fifth day. Knowing this was the end, he waiting for death. Which is when a local tribe found him. Loading him onto an alpaca, they took him to their village and nursed him back to health. As he lay on a blanket made of the finest alpaca wool and sipped alpaca stew, Terrance vowed when he returned home he'd build his own village where the people of Britain could experience their own adventures." Lance steps forward, resting his hand on Justin's chest. "That village was Turplins."

"So, what? You're giving a spot quiz?" Justin says, because he has read that story, he just doesn't understand why it's relevant now.

"No, but there is a test," Joey says.

They start to walk again, and when they get close to the goat pen, Justin sees it's surrounded by people. All the people he's met in the last few days; including JC.

"I don't understand."

"That's because you haven't undertaken the rite of the goat." Chris steps out of the crowd. He looks solemn, his eyes smudged with the remains of his stage make-up. "Do that and you too will understand."

"Do what?" All Justin wants is answers. He's heard about this area, how the pen used to be filled with alpacas until they were poisoned by the sweets and crisps provided by years worth of children. And how it was decided a more hardy animal was needed, which led to the goats. Vicious goats with an addiction to sugar so strong they're kept in a fenced off pen. Justin also knows the people he works with, and goats plus that knowledge is a worrying combination.

"It's nothing that bad," JC says. He crouches down and takes a bottle out of a plastic carrier bag that's lying at his feet. "You drink this, you get naked, you run through the goat pen. We've all done it."

"We have," AJ agrees, suddenly appearing. He holds up his arm and points to one his tattoos. "I got this to hide the goat bite scar. The fucking thing took a chunk out of my arm."

"At least you're not Wade."

There's a hiss of sound, and everyone cups their hands over their dicks. It doesn't help Justin's nerves, and when JC holds out the bottle of Jack, Justin immediately unscrews the cap and takes a long drink.

It's been hours since he ate last and the alcohol goes straight to his head. As the others clap, Justin drinks again, and again. He looks at the goats, who are looking back with their beady eyes. They have mean looking mouths. Justin shivers and works out the fastest route through the pen, because this is tradition. No way will he not run. The only worry is the naked part, and he takes another long drink before he toes off his shoes and socks and unbuttons his polo shirt. Another drink and he pulls it over his head, hanging onto his cool while his audience cheer.

When the bottle is nearly empty, Justin shimmies out of his trousers and boxers and with a last drink, he climbs into the pen.

Justin escapes with a nipped arse and a lack of dignity. As his new friends crowd around, he knows it's worth it.

~*~*~*~

The next week goes from frantic -- Justin can make and serve a pancake in less than a minute now, which is good because the queue is never less than three people long -- to time spent doing nothing at all. Justin's clothes constantly smell like sugar, and he spends hours hanging out on the grass outside his caravan, chatting to the people that pass by. He's got friends now, and while the job he's doing isn't what he expected, it's not like it's difficult. Really, things could be much worse.

"I've just been talking to Joey." Lance appears around the edge of the stall. He's just finished a shift as Alfred and his hair is damp and his cheeks still flushed. Justin feels hot just looking at him and bumps AJ aside with his hip so he can get a bottle of water out of the fridge. Justin holds it out to Lance. "Thanks, man." Lance takes a long drink and then hands back the bottle. "Kevin's holding a party tonight, he won a championship or something."

"And he invited us?" Justin is dubious, because while Kevin's been nice enough the two times Justin's seen him, he's also never gone out of his way to become friends, so the thought that he'd ask Justin and Lance to his party is puzzling.

"Well, he asked Brian, who asked Nick, who asked me. And now I'm asking you."

Justin flips a pancake and readies a paper plate. "So basically we're gate crashing."

Lance shrugs, looking unconcerned. "No, because caravans don't have gates."

"Tell that to Kevin when he's booting our arses out of the door."

AJ shakes his hand and squirts cream on a pancake and then adds sprinkles. "Kevin won't mind if you turn up, don't let the brows fool you, he's a pussycat."

Which is easy for AJ to say, because he's already told Justin how he's been friends with Kevin since they joined Turplins together years before. He won't get booted out for gatecrashing.

"Seriously, it's not a big deal, the parties are a roll up with a bottle kind of thing. Get a cheap bottle of plonk from the shop and you're laughing," Lance says.

"What? Like a good Chardonnay?"

"Well, you could," AJ says. "But the way these parties go you might as well take Lambrini."

Scooping batter, Justin remembers his mum carefully selecting wine at Marks and Spencers. She'd always head for the expensive bottles but it's a luxury that Justin can't afford, and if AJ says he doesn't have to splash out, well Justin has no problem buying something cheap from the 24-7 shop. "Fine, I'll see you there?"

"Yeah, Joey's working the Fab Club tonight, but he's finished in an hour so I'll be going over with him." Lance starts to walk away, then stops and looks back. "Want me to get your bottle? You can give me the money later."

"Yeah, thanks." Justin scoops another pancakes and steps back to avoid the light-up plastic sword a young boy is jabbing at his side. He waves at Lance then ad
ds raspberry jam, chocolate and marshmallows to the freshly cooked pancake. Which frankly, looks delicious, and Justin wonders when something so sugary and so obviously unhealthy became an acceptable meal. Simple answer being, within days of working here when he realised lack of money and more importantly, no mum meant he had to eat what he could when he could. Stomach rumbling, Justin passes over the plate.

"Hungry?" AJ asks.

"I could eat a scabby horse."

Technically it's against the rules to eat at the stall. In actuality AJ's fine with it as long as no one sees. In a rare break when no one is queuing, Justin gets his Mars bar out of the fridge and takes a big bite. He chews fast, teeth coated in caramel and chocolate and finishes off the whole thing in less than a minute. Crumpling up the wrapper he pushes it into his pocket and is waiting, poised next to the jugs of batter before the next customers starts to approach.

The remainder of the night is more of the same. Justin cooks and serves multiple pancakes and rescues an Alfred the alpaca balloon that gets tangled in one of the nearby palm trees. Which is a nice break and also results in caricature guy -- Gerard -- handing over a drawing of Justin flying through the air, a cape fluttering behind him. Of course AJ sticks it on the stall and Justin pretends to protest while hiding his smile.

Justin also ends up with Geek plastered against his back, but that's a nightly thing now. He's used to wiping smeared blue make up off his cheek and steels himself when he hears the whoop of sound that means Geek has him in his sights and is about to pounce. It's just their thing now and it feels second nature to set off for the stage, Geek's knees tight around Justin's waist, his face tucked against Justin's neck as a line of children follow and yell.

Normally Justin drops Geek off at the stage, but tonight Geek slides down but grabs hold of Justin's hand.

"Kids. Who wants to see Justin dance with us!?"

Confused, Justin looks back at the stall. The queue is small right now and AJ looks over and shrugs as Geek heads to the side of the stage, pulling Justin behind him. Waving and grinning at the children who have followed, Geek pushes open the staff only door that lets them back stage. As soon as they're inside and away from anyone watching, Geek's smile fades and Justin sees Chris, looking tired under the plastered on make-up.

"Sorry, J. There's been a fuck up with the routines. One of the space hoppers have gone missing and Wade's doing his end. We need a filler while they look for it and I figured you'd be game. You know the party songs, right?"

Justin does know them. At least he remembers watching them at the end of term discos, too cool to actually join in but laughing at those that did with Trace. He's also seen how the yellow coats perform the dances every day since he arrived and Justin's good at picking up routines. He knows he'll be fine.

"I know them."

"Good." Chris grins and the sparkles under his eyes sparkle in the dim light. "Let's go entertain some devils' spawn."

Stepping on stage is a rush. Justin loves seeing the crowd of people looking up at him, and grins when Geek cart wheels to the front of the stage. "Hey, kids! I want you to meet my friend. This is Justin and we're going to teach him some of the Turplins party dances. Can you help me do that?"

There's a surge of sound as kids waves their arms and yell. It's not enough for Geek. "I said are you going to help me do that?!"

They yell louder, stand and stamp their feet and Geek encourages them on until Justin's ear are ringing and all he wants to do is yell too. So he does, jumping in place when the music for the first dance begins.

Ten dances later, and Justin's buzzing from running and jumping and having the time of his life. His apron is crooked and he can feel sweat slide down his nose but when he gives a last wave and jumps off stage he's more sure than anything that performing is what he wants to do.

"You looked like you were having fun," AJ says. He's busy cooking pancakes and sorting toppings and taking money and Justin feels momentarily guilty as he takes his place behind the stall.

"I did."

AJ hands a plate to Justin and says, "Good, but it's pancake time now."

~*~*~*~

Kevin's caravan is set in an area exclusively for the entertainment staff. He's got the luxury of sharing a four berth with only Howie D, one of the yellow coats. No one seems to know why this is, it's just accepted as fact that Kevin's got one of the best caravans, and that if there's a fuzzy pink bear in the window it means Kevin is there with Kristen and it's best not to go in. The bear is in the window often. Howie spends a lot of time in Chris, Joey and JC's caravan.

"It looks like half the camp is here," Justin says. Music blares and people are spilling out of the caravan doors and sitting on the grass or dancing in groups or individually. There's a barrel full of ice and cans of cheap larger and someone is passing around a joint, the end glowing in the darkness.

"What can I say? Ballroom dancing makes you popular."

Justin's not actually sure if AJ's joking. It's not like he doesn't know Kevin has friends, but he didn't expect anything like this. It seems too frantic for Kevin who tends to come across like the poster boy for uptight control freaks everywhere. Which is why it's such a surprise when Kevin suddenly appears and is obviously pissed as a newt. He's laughing as he staggers down the stairs, arm over Howie's shoulders and holding on.

"AJ! My man! Hi!" Transferring his hold from Howie to AJ, Kevin nuzzles his mouth against AJ's cheek.

"You reek," AJ says, but he obviously doesn't mind being slobbered over, just encircles his arm around Kevin's waist and props him up.

Kevin turns his head and breathes in AJ's face. "Do I smell like pussy? I was going down on Kristen earlier."

Justin makes his escape before he has to hear anymore. Grabbing a larger from the barrel, he snaps the tab and takes a long drink as he looks around for anyone he knows. He recognises a few people. Mikey the coffee guy talking to Frank from temporary tattoos. Joey dancing with Britney from the Donkey Derby. Justin considers joining them but decides to keep walking, find someplace a little quieter for a moment because Justin's head is thumping. Or, if he's honest with himself, he's looking for JC.

Sighing, he takes another drink. The crush on JC is ridiculous, but Justin can't seem to get over it. Which always makes him feel like shit because now that he actually knows Chris he likes him a lot. So perving over his boyfriend is a shitty thing to do. The problem is, Justin can't seem to stop. JC's just so JC. Hot and talented and wonderful.

On the outskirts of the party now, Justin walks between two caravans and sighs when he sees two people making out in the shadows. Which is annoying because they get to grope in the darkness and Justin hasn't even had a wank for weeks, not when Lance sleeps less than a foot away and there's always people wanting the bathroom. It's especially frustrating because Brian and Nick make no attempt to muffle the noise when they're having sex. Which is every night, and morning, and one time in the afternoon. It's not right that Justin can't rub one out but knows what both of them sound like when they come.

About to creep away before he's seen, Justin stops when he recognises Chris. He's backed against the wall of the caravan and has his hand tangled in the dark curls of someone who's definitely not JC.

Angry, Justin wants to go and pull them apart and ask Chris what the fuck he's doing. Instead he shoves his hands in his pockets and watches as the guy kisses Chris and wiggles a hand down the front of his trousers, making Chris gasp and surge against him. It's a sickening sight and Justin hates Chris right now, because not only does he have JC, he has him and cheats on him too.

It's inexcusable in Justin's mind, and he turns, hurrying away before he does something he'll regret. Back in the open, Justin throws away his can, and almost bumps straight into JC.

"What are you doing here?" Justin takes a step back and thinks desperately how he's going to stop JC seeing Chris.

JC's got light-up bracelets around his wrist and inexplicably he's wearing sparkly dealy boppers that swing when he laughs. "It's a party, where else would I be?" He looks at Justin, then pulls off one of the bracelets. "You look sad, have a bracelet." He slides it onto Justin's wrist, looking satisfied. "There. Now, have you seen Chris? He's got my key."

"I think I saw him heading toward the beach."

"Figures," JC says. "He's never where he's supposed to be." He leans in and the strands of the dealy boppers tickle against Justin's ear as JC kisses him on the cheek. "I'd better go find him before he loses the key again. I already owe Madge in Worker's Services fifty quid."

JC walks away and Justin twists the bracelet around his wrist as he watches him go. Lying to JC had been instinctive but now the initial urge to protect him is over, Justin's furious at himself for helping maintain Chris' deception. But also, if he's honest, he feels a little guilty too. Because the fact is, some of that anger is due to missing the perfect chance to land JC. To comfort and be there for the inevitable break-up. Justin putting his arm around JC, leading him away while telling him things will be okay, there's plenty more fish in the sea.

It's easy to imagine that scene, and Justin's stomach feels sour at missed opportunities. In combination with the anger it makes him feel hot and frazzled, and Justin needs a drink - now.

He hurries back to the main party and scoops a can of larger from the bin. His hand tingling with cold as he snaps the tab, he drains the larger in one. It feels good, cooling, but it's still not enough and Justin pulls out another can. He drains this one too, and the next, and when someone pushes a plastic glass into his hand it makes sense to drink that too, the warming liquid melting the ice in his chest.

"Another," Justin says. He holds out the glass and someone wraps their hand around Justin's, steadying it as the glass is filled. When it's full to the brim he gulps it in one, stomach burning and cheers ringing in his ears. The attention makes Justin feel invincible, powerful, but he knows if he erases the lingering guilt he'll feel even better.

The floor seems to waver as Justin moves, the grass rolling and shifting under his feet. But it's no match for Justin, and he heads off to find JC, determined to admit what he's seen.

He doesn't find JC. Justin finds a lamp post that jumps into his path and an Alfie Alpaca balloon that refuses to tell him where JC's hiding. He also finds Chris, who's sitting in a deck chair outside of Kevin's caravan, eating a packet of crisps like he's done nothing wrong at all. Anger surging, Justin runs forward, then comes to a clumsy halt when the long-haired slut appears.

"You scum-sucking cunt-faced whore-slag-cheating-bastard!" Enraged, Justin leaps, pulls back his arm and clenches his fist. He puts everything into the punch and feels satisfied at the crunch of knuckles impact against bone. "That one's for JC!"

"Justin. The fuck?!" Chris jumps to his feet, the deck chair going flying as he grabs Justin's shoulders and shoves hard. Justin falls, the breath knocked out of him and he's sure he's about to take a boot to the head or side as Chris glares down at him. All Chris does is turn away so he can kneel next the other cheating bastard.

Nauseous, Justin looks away from the stars that are spinning overhead. He watches how concerned Chris looks as talks softly and takes a napkin from someone, pressing it against the other guy's nose. It quickly turns red, and Justin feels sick, rolling onto his side as he starts to throw up everything he's drank, soaking his shirt and someone's abandoned shoes.

Things get hazy after that. Justin curls around himself, cheek against the soggy ground. Words fade in and out, Chris crouching next to him, his hand on Justin's shoulder and touch gentle despite his obvious anger. Kevin yelling when he finds his shoes.

Flashes as someone takes pictures, then Lance and Joey, holding on as they try to ease Justin to his feet, then giving up and just carrying him home.

~*~*~*~

Waking up the next morning sucks. Justin hurts. His head feels like it's too big for his body and his stomach is sour. As for his tongue. It's grown fur overnight and Justin staggers to the kitchen and uncaring of the mess, fills a glass and takes a long drink of water. Filling it again he shades his eyes with his hand and sits carefully on the couch, convincing himself that he doesn't need to barf.

"Here." A hand appears in Justin's vision, and he gratefully takes the two pills. He swallows them and sets down the empty glass, looking at the lipstick mark around the rim.

"Thanks," Justin says. He looks at his hand, seeing the faint red of his knuckles. "About last night, sorry."

"I don't think it's me you should be saying sorry to."

"I'll say sorry to Kevin, too," Justin says.

"Good luck with that," Lance says. "But I didn't mean him. Seriously, Justin. Ray?"

Confused, Justin looks up, because he doesn't even know a Ray. "Did I barf on him, too?"

"No, you just about broke his nose. Remember? You punched him out and he's got no idea why."

"He doesn't know why?!" Justin's head is pounding even harder now. Obviously this Ray has everyone fooled about his cheating ways. "How about I saw him making out with Chris?"

"That's kind of what boyfriends do," Lance says, as if Justin is some kind of moron. Which is unfair, because Justin knows that's what boyfriends do, the same way he knows you make out with your own boyfriend, and not someone else's.

"I know that, but this Ray isn't Chris' boyfriend, JC is."

"What!?" Lance turns and looks directly at Justin. "You think JC's with Chris?"

Lance sounds incredulous, and Justin can't help feeling defensive. "They're always hanging out together. They're always touching. JC was eating chips off Chris' plate yesterday."

"But that's just them, it doesn't mean anything. I mean.... For fuck's sake Nick, put on some clothes."

Justin looks up and wishes he hadn't when he sees Nick standing stark naked in the kitchen. He's looking through the cupboards and finally selects a bottle of vegetable oil and when he moves Justin can see Brian kneeling on their bed, waving cheerfully as if he's not naked with his arse in the air.

"Sorry," Nick says, not sounding sorry at all.

"Nick," Lance says. "Tell Justin who Chris is dating?"

"Ray," Nick says immediately. Still holding the vegetable oil he leans against the counter, hip cocked and looking intrigued. "Why, is Justin wanting to move in on him, because Justin, dude. Have you seen Ray's thighs? I don't think Chris will give them up in a hurry."

"I don't want Chris!"

Wandering out of the bedroom, Brian stands next to Nick. "Why? I know he's annoying but he's a nice guy."

Justin's mouth is open but he's got no idea what to say. Because how is this his life? Sitting in a caravan facing two naked men who apparently have no shame at all. Justin keeps his line of sight at eye-level. When he does that he doesn't have to see how Brian's rubbing his dick against Nick's thigh, and especially how Nick's responding.

"I think he wants JC," Lance says thoughtfully. "But he thought he was dating Chris."

"But Chris is dating Ray."

"So I've heard," Justin says shortly, and reminds himself it's not Brian's fault that Justin got everything so mixed up. But still, what was he supposed to think? It's like everyone here can't see how JC and Chris look together. It has to be something that comes with working at Turplins which in itself is a seething mess of tangled relationships.

Nick walks over to Justin and crouches down, looking sincere. "So, now you know what's up, what are you going to do?"

All too aware there's dick pressing against his knee, Justin looks somewhere past Nick's shoulder. "I'm going to talk to him and ask him out. After I've said sorry to Ray, anyway."

"Good." Nick pats Justin's arm and stands. Justin abruptly looks to the side. Which only shows him how Lance is making no attempt to hide his grin at all.

"That's a good plan, but you need to change first," Brian says.

Justin looks down at himself, and has to agree. He's still wearing the clothes from yesterday and along with the stains, they reek.

Lance pushes himself off the couch. "Come on, I'll help you pick an outfit."

"He looks good in white," Brian says, already on his way back to his bedroom.

"Yeah, and something tight."

A last smile and Nick follows, shutting the door to their bedroom. Leaving Justin to go to his own room where Lance is putting Justin's case on the bed.

JC's caravan is close to Kevin's which means Justin has to walk past the empty barrel and a mountain of empty cans. His stomach rolls alarmingly, and he swallows hard, steeling himself as he knocks on the door. Finally Joey answers, he's in his yellow coat uniform and looks disgustingly perky until he sees who it is, then his smiles fades.

"I didn't expect to see you here."

"Me either," Justin admit. "I'm here to say sorry to Ray."

"Good." Joey smiles again then. He steps back, ushering Justin in. "They're in the front."

It's the first time Justin's been inside. It's tidier than his own caravan, but not by much. Though at least here the mess is more clutter than actual squalor. There are CDs scattered everywhere and a games system in front of the TV. Zebra stripped cushions are arranged on the couch and instead of net curtains there's Mickey mouse and Manchester United towels tied to the curtain rail.

Chris is sitting in the corner of the couch, and when he sees Justin he scowls. "If you try something again I'll fuck your shit up. I like you but you only get one chance."

Justin stands his ground. Chris looks fierce, but he's got every right. "I've came to say sorry to Ray. Lance said he'd be here."

"Good." Still frowning, Chris yells. "Ray!"

Guilt is immediate when Ray appears. His nose is red and both his eyes are bruised. He looks at Justin, expectant.

"I'm sorry I hit you. I was drunk and stupid and I thought Chris was cheating on JC with you."

"You thought I was with JC!?"

"What was I supposed to think?" Justin whirls to face Chris, and maybe he shouldn't be reacting like this, but how can none of them see? "He was sucking your fingers. You kiss him all the time. He was sitting in your lap yesterday."

"He's one of my best friends. We touch."

"But friends don't touch like that. Not where I come from," Justin protests.

"Or mine," Ray agrees. "It took me weeks to ask Chris out. He was always with JC. Sharing one drink."

"Or a plate of chips," Justin adds, knowing exactly what Ray means.

"Or one chair. I swear I don't think JC knows what an actual chair is."

Which is when JC steps out of one of the bedrooms. His hair is a tangled mess of curls and he's dressed in pyjama pants and an Albert Alpaca t-shirt. He yawns, says, "Of course I know what a chair is." A statement he proves by sitting on the couch and swinging his legs across Chris' lap.

"What's going on."

Chris wraps his hand around JC's ankle and shakes his head. "Apparently Justin thought we were dating."

"Again? I swear, you're the biggest cock block ever." Rubbing at his eyes, JC looks at Justin. "I've been there, done that, have the t-shirt that says never again. I love the guy, but no."

"So that means I could ask you out?" Justin says, determined to take this chance.

"If we go for coffee will you buy me extra shots of vanilla?"

"As many as you like."

"Well then, I'd love to. Is tonight good for you? I'm playing Buttons in the pantomime, but after that I'm yours."

"That's fine," Justin says, and he forces back his grin as he looks from JC to Ray. "I really am sorry about punching you."

Gingerly, Ray touches his nose. "It's okay. Just buy me a pint at the pub one night and we're even."

"I will. Two pints," Justin says, because he really does feel guilty. "And a packet of pork scratchings."

"I'll hold you to that," Ray says.

"Good." Backing toward the door, Justin waves, and when he's out of sight, he can't help punching the air in triumph.

~*~*~*~

When Justin arrives for their date JC's signing autographs for a bunch of pre-teen girls. He's crouched over, scrawling his name in their Albert Alpaca autograph books, and when they walk away they're all giggling and clutching the books to their chests.

"Will you sign something for me?" Justin steps close and holds out his arm. "I haven't got a book but if you sign here I'll never wash it again."

Playing along, JC uncaps his pen and takes hold of Justin's arm, steadying it as he writes JC Chasez, Turplins Star Stage followed by a smiley face. "There."

"I'll treasure it forever," Justin says. He runs his finger tip along the signature, tracing the lines. "I should get this tattooed on, then when you're a famous singer I can show it off and say I knew you back then."

"You could," JC says, and Justin expects him to carry on with the joke, instead JC looks nervous as he lets go of Justin's arm. "Justin, I really like you, and I think this could be something good, but I need to tell you something first."

JC looks distressed, and Justin can't help imagining all sorts of things, none of them good. "Just tell me. It can't be that bad."

"It's not, well, some of it is. For me anyway." JC stops speaking and takes a deep breath. "Okay, I'm just going to tell you, but not here."

He starts toward the café in the middle of the plaza. This late there's only one table occupied and Mikey's busy closing up, packing up left over cakes while texting at the same time. When he sees them coming he takes two chocolate-chip muffins out of a box and puts them on a plate, then picks up a mug and starts to fill it with coffee.

"JC wants a double vanilla shot," Justin says, and watches as Mikey adds the shots and then pours out another mug, this one with extra sugar and milk. "Thanks." Taking the loaded tray, Justin goes to their usual table, where JC is waiting.

Sitting in the chair next to him, Justin sits, takes a sip of his coffee and waits.

"I don't know where to start. I guess the logical place is to tell you my real name is Joshua Turplins and this camp will be mine one day."

It's not what Justin expected at all. He'd steeled himself for JC changing his mind or wanting a threesome, anything but this. "So, you're like, a millionaire?"

"I wish." JC laughs, more bitter than anything. "More I'm expected to run the company one day."

"And you don't want to do that?"

"Do I look like a businessman to you?" JC indicates his outfit, from his usual flip flops to his silver pin-stripped trousers and paint-splattered vest. "All I want to do is sing."

"You're a good singer," Justin says.

"Thanks." JC smiles, genuinely this time. "Dad said I could work as a performer as long as it was here, learning the business from the inside out."

"So, what? If you'd gone somewhere else you'd have been disowned?" Justin can't help feeling angry, because that's bullshit. Families are supposed to support you, whatever you want to do.

"I guess," JC shrugs and takes a drink. "I didn't push it that far. It's not what I want to do but they've my best interests at heart, and I love them. They're my family and sure, granddad's a bit obsessed with alpacas, but he's got reason."

"Wait. Your grandfather is Terrence Turplins? The one that got lost in the Andes?"

"Adopted grandfather, and didn't I just say that?"

"Well, yeah," Justin admits. "But your grandfather is Terrence Turplins. He's got his own statue."

"He does," JC says. "We decorate it every year for the Christmas period."

"And that's it? You're not going to tell me your mum's Felicia Fontins or something."

"Nope. I'm just JC. Grandson of the founder of the Turplins empire."

"That's all. Right." Justin reaches under the table, groping for JC's hand. "I guess I can cope with dating someone important and it explains the freebie food you get, and the keys."

"Not really." JC's expression is serious as he squeezes Justin's fingers. "None of the staff know because I only tell the people I date. So like, that's AJ and Howie. Kristen and Kevin back in the day, after Chris slept with him though, if it was before I'd have so warned about the dick issue." Looking into the distance, JC counts names off on his fingers. "And there was that week with Brian. But that was a short term thing, nothing, like, serious. But I told him anyway because he looked so adorable in the mornings. All smiles and crinkly eyes. Erm, Bob too, who else?"

Justin doesn't say a word, just sips his coffee and tries not to laugh when Mikey looks in their direction and rolls his eyes as he mouths everyone knows.

"Oh, and Chris of course. But I would have told him without the sex. That was just a bonus."

Which of course it was. Justin has to smile, because not only has he landed himself a potential boyfriend, he's got one that's the heir apparent to the whole Turplins empire as well as one coming with a harem of ex boyfriends and a firmly attached best friend.

Somehow, Justin suspects, this summer is going to be interesting.

Comments

[ravenbat.livejournal.com]

Terri, what a fun story! I really enjoyed it and it was a nice long story for me to distract myself with this afternoon. :)

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Raven. I'm so glad you liked :D

[nopseud]

This remains completely awesome :-)

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[vaudevilles.livejournal.com]

Aw! I love love love your AUs and this is fabulous. I adore all the details you give us (through life long research yeah?) and the little touches (especially the caricaturist and Chris in blue makeup). It's utterly lovely and lots of fun to read.

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, this came from years of going to holiday camps :)

Chris in blue make-up *happy sigh* It was such a hard line to walk between adding enough Chris to make me and Inky happy and keeping it JuC. So I'm glad it's working for people.

Unrelated. I uploaded your fic. Just things have been busy, which I'll tell you about when I actually get time to just sit and talk to people. Sorry :(

[ninjetti75.livejournal.com]

HEEE.

This is awesome.


And terribly English, but I've spent some time there, so it's fun. ;)


I love Justin's outrage that no one can see his POV regarding Chris & JC...except poor Ray, the guy he punched out, from out of the blue. *g*

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

And dude, it was so hard writing them as English. Apparently my writing brain is now a weird hybrid of US and Brit terms *g*

[frausorge]

N'aww! You do such a beautiful job of building up a whole environment from concrete details, and I love Justin's evolution from assumptions and a bit of arrogance to some real understanding and friendships. And JC! And the band cameos made me giggle like mad. Especially Mikey. Though Chris/Ray is a most intriuging pairing. But anyway, Justin & JC! May they have a summer of the highest interest together.

[turps33.livejournal.com]

You're so my favourite today.

I had a lot of fun writing this, and when Inky started to fall into MCR I couldn't resist the cameos, especially as she has a thing about Ray.

But yeah, Mikey the coffee guy made me happy.

As does your feedback. Thank you so much.

[lievv.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. Now this is one perfect AU! Plus, Kevin! Drunk!Kevin! *hearts*

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Drunk!Kevin was one of my favourites! I wish I'd have had more time to flesh out his part. Because he's awesome!

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked :)

[turloughishere.livejournal.com]

I'm so not a JuC girl but I wanted to at least look at this and suddenly the story had pulled me in - it was so much fun! Justin the Pancake Bitch!! I loved how you'd written all the popslash people, especially AJ! And of course enjoyed "spot the bandom guys" enormously. Frank the tattoo giggler and Gerard the charicature artist and Mikey the coffee guy! And Ray and his thighs!! Wheee!!

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Dude, Turlough, I never expected to see you comment on this :)

I had so much fun writing this. I enjoy holiday camps a lot, and I enjoyed giving people their jobs so much.

When I was writing it I was telling Anna how I'd love to write spin off stories one day. How Chris and JC got together and then split up, Lance's first days. Life in the bandom based caravan. There are so many possibilities.

Thank you!

[turloughishere.livejournal.com]

I hope I didn't shock you too much ;-)

It was totally the accounts of your holiday camp vacations that made me even look at this in the first place. And a tiny bit because it's such an incredibly ENGLISH institution and I wanted to know how the pop boys would fit into that world - which they do splendidly of course, they fit in everywhere!

Life in the bandom caravan, oh yes! Can you imagine the terrible and endless battles between Frank and Gerard&Mikey re acceptable level of cleanliness??!! ANd the just the thought of Frank and Chris let lose together is terrifying! Add in Bert and I'm sure the camp wouldn't survive it :-)

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Hee! Yours was the last name I expected to see.

I was surprised that holiday camps weren't a more world wide thing, but apparently not.

The bandom caravan would be awesome! Full of dirty coffee cups and clothes strewn around and poor Frank would rant and then wash up again and threaten next time he's just going to leave them, but of course he never does.

And yes, Frank, Bert and Chris in one place would lead to chaos!

[musicboxgirl.livejournal.com]

Ok. I want to say I love you. I don’t really know you. You don’t really know me. This is the story that lead me to research Bandom which lead to the discovery of Mikey Way which lead to much falling off of furniture and gaping. I love you. Thank you.

This story is amazing. I have no idea what a holiday camp is but that didn’t really matter at all. I just love the boys in this universe. I like how you sprinkled it with Bandom boys too. Also, Chris in makeup! Hee!!

I love the relationship between Chris and JC and how it’s just *okay*. Everyone else gets it but Justin is on the outside. I find it so amusing that their relationship isn’t ever explained to Justin. LOL It just amuses me so much. And poor, poor Ray. I just want to hug him for being so very nice.

I think my favorite scene was the ‘Singing in the Rain’ scene. Just perfect with Justin’s inner turmoil and JC’s randomness and Chris’ craziness. You just get each of them just right.

I think I’ll start thinking of Justin as pancake bitch from here on out.

[turps33.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you! And don't worry, I haven't forgotten your rec request. I've been gathering *g*

I had no idea that holiday camps didn't transfer overseas, basically they're a place where you stay in either caravans or small apartments which surround an area which contains clubs, pubs, amusement park, play park, boating lake etc. Really it's a place where you can go for a holiday and not leave the grounds if you don't want to.

Chris is based on one of the real entertainers at Butlins ( a real holiday camp over here ) Geek wore sparkly make up and once kissed me on the cheek and left behind a perfect blue lip print *g*

Yeah, Chris and JC and just really close best friends, and everyone gets that but Justin. It's no surprise he doesn't think he has a chance.

And yes, he's pancake bitch to me, too.

Thank you so much for the lovely comment. It means a lot.

[musicboxgirl.livejournal.com]

*patiently awaits rec list*

I totally googled holiday camps after reading this and I guess it's kind of like a resort with all the attractions on site. Makes sense. They sound like fun.

[chalcopyrite.livejournal.com]

I just read this! I would be Most Vexed with the internet for hiding this story's existence from me, but I am too overcome with glee and sparkles to bother.

This was just marvelous! (Or possibly smashing.) The roles you picked for each of them were perfect, and they fit in so well! I seriously can't pick a favourite bit, but Pancake Bitch and Chris' umbrella are efinitely up there. And Mikeyway! Mikeyway with extra vanilla! ♥

(I always wanted to go to Butlin's or somewhere when I was a kid, because the ads made it sound like so much *fun*, but I think perhaps I'm glad now that no-one listened to me. The alpaca experience sounds traumatising. *g*)

[turps33.livejournal.com]

I love your comment <3

I'm especially thrilled you like the story because it's one I love too, and I'm full of glee you liked the bandom cameos because I had so much fun working them in.

Oh, Butlins is fun, especially when you're a kid. When I was a kid we went there multiple times a year and to me the redcoats were Gods. Of course, when you go back as an adult you see how much they put up with, kids really are devils at times.

Thank you so much!