turps: (Bob is a star (samelthecamel))
[personal profile] turps


When he wakes again, Bob feels good. The beats around him are calm, and when he sits up he sees that Gerard is still sitting propped up in the bunk, head forward and his hand against Mikey's back. It gives Bob hope that they've started to fix things. Then Mikey wakes up and as soon as he's aware he cringes from Gerard's touch, almost knocking Gerard to the floor in his scramble to get out.

"I told you not to touch me," Mikey spits out and he stalks away, looking at no one as he goes into the bathroom.

"I'll go," Frank says wearily, and he appears out of Gerard's bunk, rubbing at his eyes, the blanket wrapped around his shoulders as he follows Mikey. Which leaves Gerard sitting alone, dejected in look and feel. Pushing back the urge to throttle Mikey, Bob climbs out of his bunk and goes to sit next to Gerard. Deciding against any platitudes--Bob knows that right now Mikey means what he says; he also knows that anger rarely lasts forever--Bob remains silent and waits.

"It's good that he's so angry," Gerard says eventually. He touches his face, his neck, his hair. "He keeps things bottled up, so expressing how he feels is healthy."

"Maybe," Bob says. "But he's expressing that anger at the wrong target."

Gerard looks at Bob and at first it looks like he's going to protest. Then he leans so he's lying against Bob's side. "My neck hurts."

"That's what you get for sleeping sitting up," Bob says, but he's already urging Gerard up, ignoring his protests to knead at Gerard's neck and shoulders. Eventually, when Bob's hands are aching and Gerard's as relaxed as he's going to get, Bob stops kneading and Gerard looks back at him through a veil of his hair. "Thank you."

"It's nothing," Bob says, and makes sure he's decent before standing. "You want something to eat?"

"Coffee, otherwise I'll fall asleep."

"Make that two." Ray jumps down from his bunk, bare feet slapping against the floor. As it always is in the mornings, his voice is raspy and he coughs behind his hand, doubling over as Bob goes and grabs him a drink. Taking it, Ray swallows nearly all the water in one. "Thank you."

"You can thank me by making breakfast," Bob says, sounding utterly serious.

"My lungs don't work properly and I'm still expected to help with breakfast? What about Gerard?"

Hamming it up, Gerard presses the back of his hand to his forehead and tips back his head as if he's about to swoon. "I'm still weak from my year of isolation at the club."

"Right," Ray says, drawing out the sound. He looks at Bob. "And what's your excuse?"

"I'm still suffering after-effects from the shatter planet; my mind may never be the same again. In fact, what did you say your name was?"

"Sucker, apparently." Ray puts his hands on his hips, trying for stern but the twitch of his lips betrays him as much as his light-hearted beat.

"Sucker Toro. It has a nice ring to it." Gerard smiles as he stands and waves his hands toward the kitchen. "Go. Make me coffee."

"I'll make the coffee if you two get the food."

It's a good suggestion. Making the coffee is easy on Ray's hands, which are still healing from working at the mines. Plus, while he won't admit it, Bob likes watching the enjoyment Gerard gets out of cooking, especially his fascination with the pancake drops.

"Sounds good to me." As expected, Gerard grabs a tube of pancake drops and squeezes a drop onto a plate, watching intently as it expands into a fully formed pancake. It doesn't take long before he has a stack, and Bob chops up a bowl of hisnat fruits, shaking sucre on top. Taking the mugs of coffee off Ray, he puts them on the table and looks up at the two remaining chairs that are folded up and still attached high up on the wall. He reaches up and pulls them both down, setting them next to the table.

"I'll go get Frank and Mikey," Ray says, and the easy-going atmosphere in the room changes, tension bleeding in once more as he knocks at the door. "Frank, Mikey. There's breakfast."

It's a surprise when the door immediately opens, Frank pulling Mikey out behind him. They both sit, Mikey as far away from Gerard as he can possibly be. It's something that doesn't go unnoticed and even the pancakes don't tempt Gerard to eat more than a few bites. Mikey doesn't eat either, just rips a pancake into shreds and drinks three cups of coffee. Which leaves Bob, Ray and Frank to finish the food. They manage, though Frank eats the least by far.

Pushing away his plate, Gerard says, "I think I'm going to lie down a while." He goes to his bunk, crawling under the blanket and pulling it up over his head.

Standing, Bob gathers the dishes and slots them into the cleanser. They clatter against the sides and he slows down his movements because the thing is, Bob's got this crew, but he doesn't know what to do with them. Gerard's hiding, Frank and Mikey are whispering together, and Ray looks like he's torn between them all.

If he's honest with himself, Bob never expected it to be this hard and suddenly he's remembering days of solitude, lying in his bunk with a holo pad and streamed tele novel. Idealistic memories he knows, but right now they're better than this--where he has everything he had before, but it's all wrong somehow.

"You have 3D scrabble." Bob turns and sees Ray stretching up for a small control box. When he grabs it he looks at the display. "Is it okay to play?"

"Go for it, but I warn you, I'm good."

Ray sets the box in the middle of the table. "I bet you're not as good as nimble fingers Way, here." He pushes a series of buttons and the scrabble grid is projected in the air, letters floating in the air in four places. "I've set it for four, expert level."

"Fine," Bob says. "Prepare to be crushed."

It turns out Mikey Way is some kind of genius at the game. He can tap out a series of words at an incredible rate, slotting them onto the board while everyone else is still arranging their letters. It's a challenge Bob can't resist, but three games later he's still being soundly beaten when Gerard starts to stir. He's still asleep, Bob can feel that, but suddenly his beat surges, becomes frantic with fear as Gerard yells, "Mikey!"

They all stand to go to him, but Mikey gets there first, seemingly acting on instinct as he drops to his knees and reaches for Gerard.

"Gerard, I'm here. It's okay."

Still caught in the nightmare, Gerard twists around and grabs Mikey's wrists, holding tight. "You're not taking him! Leave him alone! No!"

"Gee. It's okay. I'm here."

"No! Stop hurting him. Mikey!"

"Gerard. Stop. I'm okay. I'm safe." Mikey shakes at his wrists as hard as he can, trying to jolt Gerard.

"Mikey?" Gerard opens his eyes, blinking hard.

"I'm here," Mikey says, and then as if it registers that he's leaning close to Gerard, Mikey tries to pull away. "Though I don't know why, let me go."

"I thought..." Gerard swallows hard, and then releases his grip so Mikey can stand. He looks at his own hands which are smeared with blood. He blinks, as if unsure of what he's seeing. "I've hurt you."

A beat passes, then two. "Not like it's the first time," Mikey spits, and walks away, cradling one wrist in his hand.

Frank sighs. "I'll take Gerard, you'll need to check Mikey's wrists, they were fucked up."

"No, I'll check them. Bob, can you get the case?" Ray stands, sounding and looking stern. When Mikey tries to get past him he grabs his arm and pulls him to the table. "Sit down."

Mikey does, though he looks past Ray as if he doesn't even exist, which prompts Ray to cradle Mikey's jaw, tilting his head so he has to look. "No you don't, you're going to listen to me."

Ray's voice is low, but Bob can still hear him as he gets the medical case, and he knows Gerard and Frank can too as they talk quietly, Frank wrapped around Gerard. Taking the case into the kitchen, Bob sets it on the table and opens it up.

"Thanks," Ray says, and takes out some packaged gauze, opening it before dipping it into the bowl of water Bob sets in front of him. Gently, Ray starts to clean Mikey's wrists of blood, dabbing at the scabs that have been torn open by Gerard's hands. "I know you've been through a lot this last year, but...."

"Do you know what these are off?" Mikey interrupts. "They used wire rope, wrapped it around and then tied it off. I've matching cuts on my ankles."

Momentarily, Ray looses his stern expression, but only for an instant. "I'm sorry you went through that, and you've every right to be angry. But don’t you think you're directing your anger at the wrong person? Gerard doesn't deserve it."

“He was supposed to come and find me.”

"It isn’t that easy." Actions gentle as opposed to his words, Ray cradles Mikey's wrist and sprays antiseptic over the deep cuts. "Do you know where Gerard was most of the last year? He was in the club. He couldn't go home, just had to stay there in a ruined building with the rotting bodies of our audience. You know Gerard, better than anyone. How do you think that affected him? Stuck there with that and the memories of us being taken away. Have you even seen his neck?"

"Yes I’ve seen it, but what am I supposed to do? Be happy that he sat around in a funk for a year? That while I was sold on to be a sex slave and tied to a bed with my legs spread he was eating protein spheres and drinking his way through the club’s alcohol supplies. So don’t tell it isn't that easy.”

“Okay, I won’t.” Ray takes Mikey’s other hand and examines his wrist. “But don’t shut him out.”

Blowing on his free wrist, Mikey doesn’t look up as he says, ““It’s Gerard. I couldn’t keep him out if I tried.”

~~~~

The rest of the day is filled with more games and uncomfortable silences. Bob spends a lot of time up front, sitting alone and watching the stars, trying to work out what he can do to make things better. He's got no ideas, though, and when he does go back to the others he makes a quick meal before heading off to sleep, hoping that tomorrow things will be better.

Hours later he wakes to a strangled shout. Opening his eyes he looks down and sees that Mikey is caught in the aftermaths of another nightmare, bundled in his blanket as Frank rubs his back. Frank's also groping one-handed for the data pad Pete sent and he flicks it on, blinking rapidly as he tries to focus on the words.

Aware that Gerard is awake, Bob isn't surprised when he sees him slide out of his own bunk to sit on the edge of Mikey and Frank's.

"I've got him," Gerard says. "You go get some sleep."

Frank looks like he's going to protest, as Mikey's leaning forward, struggling to even breathe, but with a last pat to Mikey's back, he slips out of the bunk and allows Gerard to take his place. Frank stands still then, looking lost and Bob reaches down, touching his shoulder. He jumps in response, but when Bob beckons, climbs up and sits next to him, knees up and arms wrapped around his legs, the data pad held tightly in his hands.

"Get under the cover, you're cold," Bob says, and tugs at the blanket until Frank's got some cover.

"Thanks," Frank says, and remains still, keeping watch.

"Mikey, it's only me."

Gerard's voice is low, but they're so close that Bob can hear every word, which is good, because Bob needs to fix his crew. Maybe this way he’ll hear something that can help.

"Mikey, I'm sorry." Gerard's hand is on Mikey's back and he's rubbing in circles. "I would have found you earlier, but I was a mess, all alone in the club. I tried calling you back. I thought, if you heard--"

"I thought you were dead," Mikey says, his voice muffled against the blanket. "They kept shooting and you weren't there, and then they took me and Frank away and I still expected you to come get me." His tone is nothing but bitterness, but fear that has to be processed as something else. "How stupid is that?"

"It's not stupid," Gerard says fiercely, "it's holding onto hope. There's nothing wrong with that."

"There's everything wrong with that." Mikey sits up then, turns so he can see Gerard. "It was what kept me going. I'd hope that maybe today you'd come get me. Maybe today I'd be left alone. Maybe today I'd be given to someone that wouldn't hurt me. Maybe today I'd die. But you never did, and they never did, and I never did. I woke up every fucking morning and had to do it again. That's what hope got me."

"Oh god, Mikey. I’m sorry. I never…” Gerard sounds stricken and he pulls Mikey into a hug, holding on tight. “I thought… I didn’t know exactly. I’m so sorry.”

Mikey continues, as if Gerard hasn’t spoken at all. " Hope got me nowhere. I didn't want hope. I wanted to lie down and die and I couldn't because each time I tried I'd remember you and your fucking messages. They hurt me, over and over again and all I wanted was you. For you to come. But you didn't. You…didn't." Mikey sounds lost, younger even, than he is.

"I'm sorry," Gerard's voice twists, anguish warping it. "I’m so sorry."

"That's the thing," Mikey says tiredly. "I knew you’d come if you could. That you'd be there, which meant you had to be dead. And I hated you for that. For being dead and still sticking around and telling me to hang on. I still hate you a little now, and I can't stop that. Not yet. And I hate myself for that, because-- Because I love you. And I missed you, and-- God, I'm a mess."

Gerard wraps his arm around Mikey's shoulders, pulling him in close. "That's okay. You can hate me, as long as I know why."

"You don't know half of it," Mikey says, but he allows himself to be held and curls his fingers around Gerard's when he reaches for his hand. "I have nightmares. If Frank's not there I can't sleep and I know it's killing him, because he hates to be still. After… They hurt him too, Gee." This is whispered even more quietly than the rest of the conversation has been. "Held him in that collar so he hardly had room to move. But he does it for me and if I were any kind of friend I'd tell him to go, but I can't. I just… I can't sleep without him; he keeps them away. They can't touch me if he's here."

Frank stills then, breathing harshly as if he's fighting panic and Bob reaches for him, trying to give comfort as Gerard rests his head against Mikey's.

"How about I stay here tonight? Let Frank have some space."

Mikey looks up then, and the bond between him and Frank is obvious, their own melody fractured but still strong and Bob can see Mikey's scared, but Gerard keeps holding on until eventually Mikey says, "I think, yeah."

Expecting Frank to relax, Bob's surprised when he tenses even more and his beat is frantic as he looks at Bob and says desperately, "I need out of here. I need space."

The problem with the Love and Death is that it's small. But there is one place they can go, and Bob slides out of his bunk, pulling Frank with him.

"Frank?" Mikey starts to move, but Frank shakes his head, trying to control his panicked breathing.

"I'm okay. Promise."

He looks far from okay, shaking so hard it seems as though he's on the verge of flying apart. Bob takes hold of his elbow and steers him forward, to the door that leads to the hold. It's almost empty right now, only a few small crates, most brought from Pete's, the instruments carefully packed and attached to the floor, which is perfect for Frank's needs. He sits on the floor, head in his hands, Bob standing close, because despite the melody that shows Frank is part of his crew, Bob doesn't know him, and he's on the verge of going for Ray, for anyone, when Frank looks up.

"Sorry. It's just. Mikey was talking about me being held and the memories-- I've spent so long trapped, and I don't mind, I don't-- Mikey needs me so I stay still and it hurts. I need to move and I can't."

Frank's still shaking, his teeth chattering and Bob has a sudden memory of one of the things Gerard first told him, a show and drums flying apart, and he knows what to do. He goes to a control panel, makes sure the door is sealed tight, and then inputs the sequence so the hold loses all gravity. Immediately, he pushes himself float upwards, and holds up his arms, bracing his hands against the ceiling. When Frank realises what he's done he does the same, and looks over at Bob.

"You turned off the gravity?"

"I figured it's a good way to be free."

Bob thinks Frank doesn't get it at first, but then he pushes off from the ceiling, somersaulting in space. He hits the ground upside down and pushes off again, spinning wildly and with each leap, each roll his shaking eases. He's serious at first, attacking each jump with fierce determination, but then he laughs when he leap-frogs over Bob's head and then grabs hold, making them both spin. He runs circuits of the hold, feet pushing off against the walls ceiling and floor.

Bob joins in the impromptu race, flipping over the top of the floating crates and grabbing Frank's foot and pulling him in a wild circle. He lets go and Frank crashes into a wall, and keeps laughing when he pops back up and hits Bob in the stomach with his head, propelling them both across the room.

Eventually, when Frank's finished running, he floats in mid air, arms out as he slowly moves his hands so he spins in gentle circles. He looks at Bob and says, "thank you."

And Bob knows this is something they'll do again. As many times as Frank needs.

~~~~

Bob has always known that healing was an interminably slow process. At least, that feels like knowledge he's had forever. Too long now, for certain.

Mikey still has nightmares and Frank still needs his space, even after a week on the craft, after two. But at least they're beginning to talk, they all are, and sometimes Bob wonders how a group so damaged will ever function again.

But there are late night conversations that leave them all wrung out and hurting, and when it seems they're all taking turns to fall apart, Bob's there. He learns to make coffee for Mikey when he can't sleep and can't bear having anyone touch him. He reads Pete's sub-channels to Ray when his hands are in agony with past aches and present healing pains. He spends time in the hold with Frank, creating their own games, and, of course, hours with Gerard, just sitting close and listening as he talks, becoming closer all the while.

Bob gives his time willingly, and as the days pass, his love. Because these people are his crew, in heart as well as name. The problem is, Bob can't be certain of how they feel in return, and has no idea how to ask. He monitors their rhythms, and although they shift while on the craft, it's hard to know if that is simply from the new safety afforded them, or due his added presence.

"Pete's posted a new sub-channel." Frank holds up the data pad and begins to read. "Missing you days get dark and nights long winter in summer and eyes to the sky ever hoping." He flicks off the page and says simply, "I think it's time we went back."

Bob agrees. Pete knows Mikey and Frank are safe, but nothing more, and he knows they all need to talk. The problem is, as Bob stands and makes his way to the conn, all he can feel is this is the first step of splitting his new crew apart, of separating them before they even knew they were his.

~~~~

It's Patrick who meets them at Vanatrous. He's leaning against the yellow vehicle, his hat pulled low, and when he sees Mikey and Frank he scowls.

"Patrick, hi," Frank says quietly. "It's good to see you again."

"Yeah," Patrick says. He pushes his glasses back up his nose and it's obvious that there's something he wants to say, but he's biting back the words.

"Where's Pete?" Mikey asks, looking around as if Pete could be hiding somewhere.

"He's back at the house, you know, in case he waited here and you decided to go off and get captured again."

"We hardly let ourselves be captured," Frank says hotly. "We kicked trafficker ass."

"Until you got caught." Dust swirls around Patrick's feet as he kicks at the ground, his voice rising. "What the hell were you thinking? You don't go wandering off with strange captains, or go on a two-man slave freeing campaign, or sneak off without saying goodbye. Do you even know what that did to Pete? He stood by you at your worst and then you left. I should kick your asses right now."

"If it would help." Frank hitches up his pants, again, and steps forward, holding out his hands. "Take your best shot."

"Morons, I swear." Patrick rolls his eyes and then his anger seems to deflate as he pulls Frank into a quick hug. "You're so skinny I'd probably break you in two, and as for you." He points at Mikey. "You look like a good breeze would blow you over."

"He's right." Gerard clicks his tongue as he stares at Mikey. "I'll have to fatten you two up."

"More pancakes,” Mikey says hopefully.

“As many as you can eat,” Gerard replies.

"You're a culinary genius," Mikey says seriously. He looks back, checking on them all before climbing into the vehicle, taking a seat with Gerard. It takes all of a second before Frank's throwing himself inside too, Ray following more sedately, but still managing to squash himself into the same seat as the other three.

Which leaves Bob with Patrick, who's watching them all and while he's not smiling, Bob can sense how relieved he is to have them back. "I'd say life's going to get a lot less quiet, but it's not like we're quiet anyway, so."

While Patrick hasn't said the actual words, Bob knows what he means, and he knows his fears are beginning to come true. "You're going to ask them to stay?"

"Pete won't lose them again," Patrick says. He climbs inside, taking a seat opposite the others. Bob does too.

~~~~

The journey to Pete's house is quiet. The walls are clear but no one's looking outside. Instead they're caught in their own thoughts and when the vehicle pulls to halt it's only Patrick who makes a move. He opens the door and jumps outside, then looks back in.

"Come on."

Bob stands then, and this is the third time he's arrived at Pete's house, but it's the first time Pete himself isn't there; just the closed front door and an uncomfortable silence. Except, when Bob steps outside he sees a face at one of the downstairs windows, and he knows Pete's watching, waiting. Bob steps to one side and listens as the harmony between Mikey, Frank and Pete grows, strengthening as if the song is almost complete.

"Pete?"

Frank's out of the vehicle now, Mikey too, and they're both looking at the house, waiting.
The front door is flung open and Pete appears. He's running at first, but he slows, hesitant to touch. Frank breaches the distance, pulling Pete into a hug, then reaching back and pulling Mikey in too, all three saying nothing as they hold on.

"Do you think I should threaten to kick his ass?" Bob turns to look at Gerard, who's watching the hug with a smile. "Because it seems like the brotherly thing to do."

"You're okay with this?"

Gerard considers. "It's not going to be easy, but I think Pete knows that. He was there for them when they needed it. I can't see that changing."

Which is something Bob agrees with, and something that technically helps when he thinks of how his new crew is splitting apart and how he suspects he’s lost them already. Frank and Mikey with Pete, Ray talking to Patrick, and Gerard, who's standing close to Bob, his arm around his waist, there for now. But Bob knows he'll leave too. It's inevitable, because no matter how Gerard feels, the friendship and love he has for Bob, Gerard will always stay with his brother and best friends.

Which means that Bob should leave. It'll be easier that way, before his attachment gets too strong--except for the part where he knows it already has.

~~~~

After hours of catch-up, Andy handing out fake steaks and Gerard cooking his pancakes and presenting it to Mikey with a flourish, they all end up sleeping in the same room. Except, Bob can’t sleep at all, and after hours lying staring at the ceiling he sits up and looks around.

Mikey and Frank are in the same bed, curled around one another, a data pad lying on the floor nearby. Gerard and Ray are in the other, the blanket pulled up to their ears so all Bob can see is a shock of dark hair next to wild red.

This close Bob can easily feel them all -- friendship and love, trust and respect – it’s all there, things that Bob thought he’d lost so long before.

"Bob?" There’s a rustle of sound and Gerard sits up in bed. His hair’s sticking up in all directions, and he looks at Bob through eyes that are more closed than open. "What are you doing?"

"Just thinking," Bob says, and when Gerard climbs out of his own bed, Bob simply holds up the blanket of his own.

"It’s the middle of the night," Gerard says through a yawn, and he rests heavily against Bob’s side.

"I couldn’t sleep."

"I told you not to eat that red stuff, it moved."

"It’s not that, and anyway, it tasted good." Refusing to get into yet another discussion of the merits of slava sludge, Bob tugs at the blanket so Gerard’s covered more.

"So what’s wrong?"

"Nothing."

"That’s not what your beat is saying. You sound conflicted, like one of those songs with twisted tempos that think they’re clever but end up just sounding wrong."

Bob looks at Gerard. "Does that even make sense in your head?"

"It does," Gerard says. "But stop stalling. Something’s got you twisted in knots."

Bob thinks about side-stepping the issue again, but Gerard’s looking at him, patiently waiting, and Bob knows he needs to say how he feels. "It’s the whole Pete thing; he wants us to stay here. Well, he wants Mikey and Frank to stay," Bob amends. "Which is good because they need some stability and time to heal. Same for you and Ray."

"I agree," Gerard says, "But while we’re here, where will you be?"

"In the Love and Death," Bob says, hoping Gerard understands. "I’m not made to live on solid ground, Gerard. I’m meant for deep space, me and my craft skimming the ribbons of sound."

"And what if we want to do that, too?" Gerard pulls away from Bob and indicates the other beds with his hand. "Don’t you think we deserve the chance?"

"But Mikey and Frank…"

"Are awake and wanting to know how Gee hooked up with such a moron," Frank says. He sits up in bed and looks over at Bob. "Of course we’re sticking together. You really thought we’d stay behind?"

"I thought you’d want to stay with Pete."

Mikey sits up too. "Well you thought wrong. There’s a big universe out there and it’ll be nice to see it." He hesitates then and looks at Frank. "In-between freeing slaves anyway."

"Oh, hell no!" Gerard points at Mikey. "No more rescues for you. You’re going to stay here, or in the Love and Death and one of us will always be with you. No more rescues or blowing shit up or nearly getting yourself killed."

"You know that’s not going to happen," Mikey says. "I love you, but no. There’s too many people out there that need our help."

"He’s right," Frank says. "But, no more risks. We can work alongside Pete’s operation, we’ll be a fantastic team, and that means all five of us, Bryar."

Gerard’s silent for a while, then he says, "I guess I can work with that. As long as we’re together."

"Like we’d be anywhere else," Mikey says.

"For the record, I’m sticking with you all, too." Ray sits up then, a shadow in the darkness. "But now that the tender moment is over, will you all shut up?! I’m trying to sleep."

"And yet," Frank says, throwing a pillow at Ray’s head. "You’re the one making the most noise."
Immediately Ray throws it back, and Frank scrambles out of the covers so he catch and return it in the same move. "I am the pillow fight master!"

"In your dreams." Ray jumps completely out of bed then, a pillow held in both hands as he dives onto Mikey and Frank. They all go down in a flurry of arms and legs, pillows being thumped against the nearest body part, and all Bob can hear is Frank’s giggles and Mikey’s laughter and Ray’s triumphant cry as he manages to hit them both in the face.

"Hey! No hitting my brother!"

Gerard jumps out of bed then, taking Bob’s pillow with him. Launching himself into the fight, he’s soon laughing when all three turn on him, hitting him repeatedly with their pillows.

Amused, Bob watches, until finally, when Gerard’s half off the bed, his head on the floor and his legs trapped under Frank’s body, Bob gets up too.

Snatching up a stray pillow he holds it above his head and readies himself to do battle.

With his friends. His family. His crew.

Master Post
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Date: 2008-11-15 09:02 pm (UTC)
sperrywink: (MCR_4_byTurloughishere)
From: [personal profile] sperrywink
Oh, that was so epically awesome. I love how getting all the people together wasn't enough to form the bond, that they were all too scarred and fractured. They all had to acknowledge that they wanted to stay together and fight for freedom (and fight with pillows) to bring the harmony together. ♥

As I've emailed you after each part, you know I loved every step of the journey, but I loved Gerard's doubts and Mikey hitting him where it hurts at the very end the most. FAILURE indeed.

Besides Gerard's journey to find his band, it is also Gerard's journey to find himself and get out of that failure loop, and I loved it when the end almost crushed him, but then Gerard fought through it and Mikey broke down and they came together and it was perfection.

This is lovely and wonderful and epic and full of action and adventure, and I loved it to bits. So well done!!

Date: 2008-11-15 10:29 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (Ryan (fluffypink_lana))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
You are so amazingly awesome.

Thank you for all the emails, and the help.

You're right, this was very much about Gerard as much as Bob. They way he was broken but helped heal himself by helping the others.

I'm so thrilled you liked the action, too. You don't want to know how many times I had to re-write the rescue scenes.

Date: 2008-11-15 10:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lunar-scythe.livejournal.com
I love this, the way that they can't fit right back together; the way nothing is *right* just because they are together. The way it still takes time to heal; it's all wonderful!

and, of course, I loved the FAILBOATS! Who else would be the failboats but Panic?

Date: 2008-11-16 07:54 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (Ryan (fluffypink_lana))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Yeah, getting them all together is just the start of fixing things. There's still so much further to go.

Hee, yes. The Failboats had to be Panic.

Thank you so much for reading and letting me know you enjoyed :)

Date: 2008-11-16 01:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poetrychik.livejournal.com
OMG, I absolutely love this fic!!!!!

Bob is so amazing, my heart aches for all he lost and how scared he is to take another chance.

The rest of the MCR guys are amazing, too! I love how in character they are, even in this awesome universe you've created! Its absolutely perfect! I'd love to read more of their continuing adventures, but you left it wide open for sequels and yet tied up this plot arch. Wonderful job! *hugs*

Date: 2008-11-16 07:59 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (need a hug)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
*beams*

Want to know a secret? It's pretty much certain more will be written sometime next year. I love this universe too much to let it go yet.

Thank you so much for the lovely comment.

Date: 2008-11-16 05:06 am (UTC)
hermitsoul: woman wearing a corset (Bandslash Bob: lordessrenegade)
From: [personal profile] hermitsoul
Wow. Now this was an awesome way to spend the day! ♥

I loved Bob, Mikey being mad at Gerard, Bob, Pete and his very protective Patrick, Bob, the Love and Death, Bob, this amazingly detailed universe - ok, so I pretty much loved everything about this story (♥ Bob!!). *hugs* Thanks so much for sharing this with us! *runs off to reread*

Date: 2008-11-16 07:57 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (need a hug)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
I'm getting the feeling you liked Bob *g*

Thank you so much for reading and letting me know you enjoyed. It means a lot.

Date: 2008-11-16 05:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tempore.livejournal.com
I got here via a link on delicious. This was an awesome read. I almost wrote captivating, except, you know-- bad pun.

Date: 2008-11-16 07:55 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (baby trickc)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Thank you! And dude, bad puns are always welcome around here :)

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Date: 2008-11-16 08:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] missmollyetc.livejournal.com
Very, very fun! I love Bob. And Gerard! And Ray and Mikey and Frank. ::grins:: Perhaps you sense a pattern?

Date: 2008-11-16 08:31 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (Ryan (fluffypink_lana))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
I do sense a pattern! I'm thrilled you enjoyed. Thank you so much for letting me know, and also for the encouragement way back when.

Date: 2008-11-16 07:06 pm (UTC)
ext_312: Desolation Row!Gerard (Default)
From: [identity profile] turloughishere.livejournal.com
The first part of this hurt so much to read. They're all so damaged. Bob too and he's still working to fix his new crew while worrying that it will leave him just lik the old did. Poor Bob! (His idea to turn off the gravity for Frank was genius!) It's going to take a long time for Mikey and Gerard to be really comfortable together again I think. It's true that it's only the ones you really love that can truely hurt you. At least they've all started talking again, that's always a start.

Awww, Patrick! He's so protective of Pete! *squishes him*

I love the ending, so much love!! (Though I wouldn't say no to hearing more about the Love and Death and her new crew and their adventures, especially Bob and Gerard ;-)

Such a wonderful story! There is adventures and tragedy and drama and humour. Angst and friendship and love! Space ships and alien planets. Bovine hats! Pancakes!! Awesome, awesome, awesome!!

PS Another missing paragraph break:

Mikey does, though he looks past Ray as if he doesn't even exist, which prompts Ray to cradle Mikey's jaw, tilting his head so he has to look. "No you don't, you're going to listen to me."
Ray's voice is low, but Bob can still hear him as he gets the medical case, and he knows Gerard and Frank can too as they talk quietly, Frank wrapped around Gerard. Taking the case into the kitchen, Bob sets it on the table and opens it up.


A misspelling: when he can't sleep and can't bare having anyone touch him

And you've got curly quotes again from After hours of catch-up, Andy handing out fake steaks to the end.

And another collapsed paragraph break:

“And yet,” Frank says, throwing a pillow at Ray’s head. “You’re the one making the most noise.”
Immediately Ray throws it back, and Frank scrambles out of the covers so he catch and return it in the same move. “I am the pillow fight master!”

Date: 2008-11-16 07:50 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (baby trickc)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
They are damaged, very much so. That's one of the reasons this didn't fully go on to be the Gerard/Bob it was supposed to be initially. The foundation for that relationship is very much there, but at this point they're learning how to be together again. Anything extra would be a complication too much at this stage. Give them a few weeks, though. There's be kisses at the conn soon.

Which is me saying, there will be more adventures of the Love and Death crew. I love the universe too much to give it up at the moment. Plus, they've got a lot of good to do, Gerard has the bit between his teeth now *g*

Considering Patrick was never going to be in the story he got a lot of face time. Which I was glad about because I enjoyed writing him.

And yes! Bovine hats! I love that you picked out all the small details because I had fun putting them in.

I'm thrilled you liked this. I was a little worried it would get too angsty for you so your reactions have been making me beam. This is very much your story, my gift to you. Just a lot of months too late *g*

Thank you also for picking out the mistakes. I'm going to go back and change them all now.

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From: [identity profile] turloughishere.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-11-16 08:51 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-11-16 11:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hammerhead22.livejournal.com
YES! I love every single thing you have done with this story since the first time I read it! Amazing idea, seriously.

My heart just breaks for all of them, especially Bob, and I love the new ending, so hopeful, so perfect. And the part with Bob on the shatter planet with The Used still made me bawl my eyes out.

I love this story!

Date: 2008-11-17 12:33 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (Ryan (fluffypink_lana))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
It's had so many changes since that first time :)

I'm glad you like the new ending, it seemed to fit better. Now they're all poised to go forward. You know Gee's going to be wanting to make a difference *g*

Thank you so much for the comment, and for reading when I needed a confidence boost.

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Date: 2008-11-17 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laziilemon.livejournal.com
Hi. You don't know me at all, but I magically stumbled upon this story and I couldn't pass up the chance to comment on this wonderful story.

I can't offer an long, indepth comment (too lazy), but I will shower you with what compliments I've got. :)

I think your AU verse is brilliant; I can't believe how caught up I am with Space!Bob. I love the plotline, and the interaction all of the boys have is just... ♥.

This is a fic I will end up checking back on to re-read, and I hope you think about writing more in this verse.

I will just be over here, wondering where this story has been all my life.

Date: 2008-11-17 12:30 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (Ryan (fluffypink_lana))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
What a fantastic comment :)

I'm so glad you enjoyed the story, it's a universe I cam to love, to know others do so too is fantastic.

I can tell you eventually there will be more. This is only the start for Bob and his crew.

Thank you.

Date: 2008-11-17 03:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaethe.livejournal.com
Oh, that was beautiful and heartbreaking. I cried when Matt died and when Bob thought he'd be alone. I'm so glad it had a happy ending!

What I love about this is that it makes a perfectly good sci-fi story even if you know nothing about the people involved. It's an interesting universe with enough consistent details to feel "real". Seeing how the personalities of the bandom guys fit into the universe adds an extra layer to the story, but I really like that it holds together even without that layer. If that makes any sense. :-)

Date: 2008-11-17 12:27 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (Chip)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Poor Matt, at least he died free :(

It does make sense, and it's such a fantastic compliment. I tried to add details into the story, but sometimes I'd re read and wonder if they'd make any sense to anyone but me. I'm thrilled that they do.

Thank you so much for such a lovely comment.

Date: 2008-11-17 12:23 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (baby trickc)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2008-11-17 06:12 pm (UTC)
ext_979: (Default)
From: [identity profile] saba1789.livejournal.com
Oh Terri, that was wonderful! I wish I had at least a tiny little ounce of writing talent so I could properly express how very much I loved this. Your Bob! Your descriptions! Your story-telling! You totally made me cry and not only once! All the little details! Ke and Aje! Captain Loupe! Seriously, I could flail at you all day :D .
Thank you so much for writing and sharing this!

Date: 2008-11-17 07:46 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (need a hug)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
You have more than an ounce of writing talent, and you express yourself perfectly.

Thank you so much, honey. I'm so thrilled you enjoyed <3

Date: 2008-11-18 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] neviditelny.livejournal.com
Wow. This, this is epic. Epic and awesome and wow.

Date: 2008-11-18 09:38 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (need a hug)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
I'm very glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for letting me know :)

Ok, this might get a big long.

Date: 2008-11-18 08:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] castalie.livejournal.com
I'm writing this feedback as I'm reading, more or less:

I've just read part 1 now and oh, this is gorgeous, I'm completely hooked! So intense and so incredibly vivid! I love the painting you created here, all the details that make that universe - in all the senses of the word - so real.

And Bob and Gerard! I'm already completely in love with those versions of them; so different and yet so them. Gerard broke my heart in that first part; the grief and despair he's feeling were so strong. Just broke my heart into pieces. And I loved how he was with Bob. It's like he was taking everything in strides but he was still a little... not off or detached exactly, but you could see how damaged he still was and I loved to see that.

Also, I loved Bob's connection to the beat. This is such a great idea! The whole premise is pretty brilliant; it's different from what I usually read and full of surprises :-)

There's poetry in that fic, right from the start; I might be a bit in love with the idea of the beat that connects them all :-)

Just read the Matt and Ray's part: great action scene! I was sitting at the edge of my seat. Then Matt died and I felt like crying. At least he died free but I always ache so much when that happens because why couldn't he 'live' free too? *sniffles* Heartbreaking. You're mean.

Failboats! Ryan and Jon! Northern Downpour! My panic boyyyyyyyyyyys ♥ ♥ I was waiting for them to show up, even if only by names lol

Gerard finding a cause to fight for and the little speech he gave was so Gerard! I loved that part too :-) And him going "Usually I'm against violence but for you I'll make an exception" before punching Oul in the face was great! I'm against violence too, usually, but I totally cheered when he did it. I don't know, I just adore your Gerard!

Also, fucking loved how Oul talked about Frank and Mikey, in a deliciously twisted kind of way!

Favourite part might be when the boys were all gathered at Bob's craft for the first time - like everything was going to work out ok, even if it took time. Like all the pieces of the puzzle had come together? And it was so painful to see, too, because there was so much hurt.

You wrote the whole scene wonderfully. I might have read it twice in a row, even :-) I was oh, character'ing all the way through!

I know exactly what you meant when you said you were hurting because of the way you needed to write Mikey and Gerard, btw. Seeing Mikey hurt and hurt Gee in return was incredibly painful. I couldn't wait for you to fix it, while at the same time enjoying it because pain can be good sometimes. And it felt very real, too, which helped.

Loved that it was Ray who tried to get through to Mikey and loved the way he did it. Stern but understanding. He didn't try to force anything on Mikey, showed him he understood the pain and the anger and I thought it was a beautiful scene. Very touching.

God, and Mikey's breakdown when he explains about his life and what hope got him and about his nightmares and Frank and omg, he broke me in tiny little pieces! And then Frank was breaking and Bob turned off the gravity and that so beautiful!!!

Then! Then you wrote that beautiful ending and OH, TERRI, I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE FOR ALL OF THIS!

You did such a fantastic job with that fic. I hope you'll get all the praise you deserve *kisses*

Re: Ok, this might get a big long.

Date: 2008-11-19 11:09 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (baby trickc)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Wow. You really do know how to make a great comment!

And I loved how he was with Bob. It's like he was taking everything in strides but he was still a little... not off or detached exactly, but you could see how damaged he still was and I loved to see that.

Yeah, I had a debate with myself, and later the betas, if he'd left too easily, but at that point he had nothing left to lose. At first Gerard was very much propelled along by Bob, which he needed to actually get out of there.

There's poetry in that fic, right from the start; I might be a bit in love with the idea of the beat that connects them all :-)

Thank you! The beat is very much the central focus of this story, I built the rest around it. So I'm thrilled people like it.

You don't want to know how many times I had to re write the Matt and Ray action scene, but yeah. Poor Matt. So close to being totally free.

Hee! You guess right, Panic had to turn up somewhere!

I had great fun with Gerard punching out Oul, and yeah, I liked how he talked about Mikey and Frank, too.

You wrote the whole scene wonderfully. I might have read it twice in a row, even :-) I was oh, character'ing all the way through!

*beams* My favourite thing ever is group scenes, and some of these hurt my heart to write, especially the Way scenes, because you know how I am with them. But Mikey was hurt, and you lash out at those you love the most, and know how to hurt them the most. I think they needed that before they could go on to heal.

I enjoyed breaking Mikey and Frank, I'm evil like that.

THANK YOU! This is a beautiful amazing comment, and I love it, and you.

<33333







Date: 2008-11-20 09:13 am (UTC)
frausorge: Bob Bryar in a black hoodie with the hood pulled up, rolling his eyes (look homeward angel)
From: [personal profile] frausorge
Terri! I finally got to finish this, and it is so awesome! Here are some of the many things I love:

- the whole concept of sound vibrations as a connecting and also controllable force in the universe - that's just brilliant!

- Bob's mourning for his lost crew and the ways in which finding a new one helps heal that and the ways it doesn't

- the way you mix action and adventure in with so much feeling

- how Mikey's trauma is still so evident and the fact that he's *angry* at Gerard - I mean, it's so painful to see them at odds with each other, but that anger feels so psychologically right on the money, that it's not an immediate unconditional reunion (even though the underlying love is still obviously so strong)

- Pete's yearning for Mikey and Frank and his reasons for not looking for them after they leave

- Pete's role as a connection point for gossip and news, and his blogging - that translates the Pete we're familiar with so gracefully into this setting

- how you incorporate enough new technology and creatures etc. to make it really feel space-age without losing the concreteness of the settings - I remember your post about the issues involved in deciding things like that and I think you did it beautifully

- the very gradual way Bob learns to accept Gerard and then the others and how that manifests in how he opens his space back up again - I love the bits about reopening long-disused bunks and chairs

So fabulous! This 'verse is something a person could just sink into.

Date: 2008-11-20 12:26 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (trickynicky (turloughishere))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
This is me still beaming at you.

Thank you so much for telling me the things you enjoyed. You're right, I did have some issues about making the setting space-age, sometimes it felt like I was writing gibberish, so I'm happy that it didn't come across that way.

I'm especially happy that the situation with Mikey comes across well. It was tempting to have an immediate happy reunion, but I thought and discussed and decided that despite being happy to see Gerard, Mikey very much has a part of him that feels that he's been let down, and that would lead to anger.

As for Pete. He was supposed to have a small role when I first thought this up, and in the end he became a vital part of the whole universe.

Thank you. So very much!

Date: 2008-11-22 03:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] duoshinigami.livejournal.com
I just need you to know...that the second I read the last sentence I started crying. CRYING!!! Crying because it was over! I wasn't ready for it to be over! I've been reading it for a week straight and I'm not dooone! Terri! My brain isn't ready to let go! How can it be over? I'm not grasping this concept!

But oh! OH! OHH!! How I loved it! I loved it so much! I admit I read chapters 4 and 5 extra slow to draw it out, because I got so wrapped up in it that I'd start reading too fast! And that chapters just flew by! It was so much and yet not enough! I could go on reading this forever it seems! i feel like I'm so involved in this universe now and that it's so tangible! I feel like I should be going online and there would be websites dedicated with more information and stories and just. I wanna jump inside it and live there.

There is so much that I loved in this story. So much that tugged at my heart strings. Whenever Bob thought about his old crew...I got teary eyed. I'm not even attached to the Used and Bert, and I know very little about them, but you made me care about the role these guys played in his life. You made me feel for Bob's loss, and I think that is one of the hardest things for a writer to do. To make some one care about characters that they know nothing about. And you did that. You totally did that!

I usually say I don't like angst in stories. But that's not true. I don't like unreasonable angst, and that is all this story had! People were sad and hurt but there were good reasons behind it. Real emotions. I felt it and I had so much sympathy for them. Poor Mikey and Frankie...omg poor RAY! And when Bob first found Gerard in that venue...my heart could have broken.

Another thing! The way you described scenery. Okay, so you did it like...PERFECTLY! You gave us detail but you didn't go on and on about it. And you didn't only describe you gave the different places a feel and you used the theme of the rhythm and music of the places to make it cohesive! It was wodnerful and I really enjoyed reading the descriptive parts because of that.

I want to know about them. About the side characters. About Pete and Patrick and the Failboats! I want to know what happened to Mikey and Frank exactly on that ship...There's so much I want to learn about this universe! And I really wish I took notes while I read this so I could leave you more details about what I loved because there was so so much! This is going to be a story I remember forever. This is on the top of the list. And I don't mean just in bandom. I'm talking over all. This was so worth all the work you put into it and I'm so glad I got read it.

It's just. Wow. I love it.

Date: 2008-12-05 10:41 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (need a hug)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
You are the best!

I know MCR aren't your usual read, so thank you so much for reading and taking a chance.

Your comments, about how real the universe was to you, just wow. You make me so happy because I was so unsure about my world building so knowing it worked is very satisfying.

To be honest, I didn't know much about The Used either, so I researched and decided that yeah, they'd be very important to Bob, and their loss is a huge deal for him.

Yeah, this story is major angst all the way, you're a star for working through it, and I love that you signalled out Ray because I think he got left behind a little.

I know you know I'm writing more, but the next story will address some of what you want. My initial plan was to deal with the Mikey/Pete/Frank situation, what happened to them while they were gone and how Pete rescued them, and I also want to show Bob and his crew going on to kick slaver ass.

*mwah* Thank you, again.

Date: 2008-11-23 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] counterfeitcoin.livejournal.com
This is such an incredible, creative universe. I love the world building you did and how seamlessly you did it. The idea that the universe is music and that people tap into it--it's brilliant. To be quite honest, I was a teensy bit skeptical of the premise but then--it's just so incredible, and you took the time to really let it work. I want this universe to exist.

And, okay, first of all? I love that The Used are not the villains, they're heroes. God, the scene on the shatter planet broke my fucking heart. I was all right, I was all right, and then he wouldn't have wanted to be buried without his hands and they would have been lonely if he'd buried them separately, and I just could hear my heart breaking in my chest. God, Bob surviving them and how obviously he loves them. And his trepidation at losing another crew! When they go back to Pete's and he's feeling them slip away, I felt sick for him.

I pretty much love that things aren't automatically easy for Gee and Mikey once they do get back, but that it can be healed. The torture Mikey and Frank endured--I mean, god Mikey, but Frank! How did you come up with that for Frank? I love how devoted he is to Mikey that he tries to make himself be still even though it's hard, it's the last thing he wants to do, because it's what Mikey needs and it's something he can do for him. And I love that Bob figures out what Frank needs to be in the craft when he just needs to move. Man, the image of them goofing off in zero gravity is just heart-warming.

And Pete! Pete and Patrick! And Joe and Andy and the Failboats! I pretty much love that Pete uses his crazy-ass blog and his celebrity to orchestrate a better world and Patrick is such a good friend, so protective of him. It just works, so perfectly. It's brilliant.

And, man, the end. I ached so bad for Bob when he felt like his crew was slipping away. You sound conflicted, like one of those songs with twisted tempos that think they’re clever but end up just sounding wrong. Of course Bob thinks he's being clever in thinking he knows what's up, and of course Gerard is the one who knows he's wrong. I love that because it feels like throughout the story, Bob feels his connection to their beat but doesn't acknowledge that it's two- (er, five-) sided because they've been denied the beat their whole lives but that they feel it, too. It's just. Awesome.

(I found a little typo in part five, a two instead of a quotation mark? "It does," Gerard says. 2But stop stalling.)

I read in some other comments you left that you're thinking about a sequel? I really hope you do get one off the ground--this universe is absolutely phenomenal, I would love to read so much more of it.

Date: 2008-12-04 06:29 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (need a hug)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
First off, thank you so much for your comment. I've read it a few times now and get blown away every time. Just, wow. That you put in so much time on it makes me so happy.

I'm especially thrilled that the world building worked for you. It's something I haven't done before, and often I was unsure if the whole concept made sense outside of my head. I can understand why you'd be skeptical, so thank you for giving the story a chance.

I can never understand why The Used are automatically cast as villains, it seems such a black and white way to view things, which is why I wanted them to be on the good side in this story. The same for Matt. But back to The Used, Bob did love them, deeply and when they died it took him a long time to let them go. The shatter planet scene was hard to write, but it was needed, it was their final goodbye.

I discussed Mikey and Frank so often with [livejournal.com profile] arsenicjade I was a little hesitant about their story because it is harsh and they both go through so much, I have this whole back story of what happened when Pete first frees them. About how Frank has had all control taken from him, and the only way he can deal with that is by switching his attention to Mikey. That if Mikey has a nightmare Frank can get up and go to him and can lie by his side, and he does, for as long as he's needed because he knows he can move if he wants to. He just doesn't as long as he's needed. The bond between them is so strong, to the extent that it interfered with the bond between Mikey and Gerard at first, and probably will for a while. Despite logically knowing Gerard wasn't at fault, Mikey still felt abandoned, and those feelings will take a while to fade.

I had to modify the punishment for Frank from what I had at first, but when I think of him I think of movement and freedom, so I wanted something that stopped that completely. I have to admit, I think of Frank being unable to move and my own heart-breaks.

You know, Pete didn't even have a big role when I first started planning this, he just took over :)

Bob is too good really. Unwilling to grab what he wants because he's unsure if that's what they really want and need. But, all he needed to do was listen in the end.

Thanks so much for the typo catch.

I am planning a sequel. I want to explore the Pete/Mikey/Frank dynamic more, maybe going back to when they were first rescued, and I also want to see the Love and Death crew go on and kick slaver ass.

Again, thank you, and thank you for reading my rambling reply.



Date: 2008-11-25 12:37 pm (UTC)
ext_27009: (Default)
From: [identity profile] libgirl.livejournal.com
The most poignant part of this whole story for me was the end, the way that Bob thought they'd leave him and that Gerard picked up on it.

I *love* the feeling each other through sound thing--it was fabulous in lots of ways and I loved how you used it throughout the story from the very beginning to the last scene.

One thing that makes most AUs, especially ones as different as this one, more difficult to read is the way that the author tends to do information dumps instead of telling the story. You get lost in all the professorial "this is how this world works" speeches and lose the thread of the story. You didn't do that at all. In fact, you never really explained anything at all in that way and it was so fabulously done. I didn't feel like there were things that I didn't know and should have and it all seemed very organic and real.

The scene with Bob and his old crew on the Shatter Planet totally broke me--I was crying by the end of it. I'm glad this story is from Bob's p.o.v. because there are definitely things in this that he's never going to share with the others but that make the story even more compelling.

I was really waiting for him to have a breaking moment and the others to have to put aside their stuff and take care of him. That, obviously, never happened and now I think I'm glad. The nice thing about this Bob, like the way we characterize the real Bob, is that he does what has to be done for his guys and he doesn't let anything else stand in his way. That was so very present here.

Pete and Patrick and the other bandom guys being vigilantes! That was so perfectly done and I loved how it all played out. Pete is so very, very Pete in this but also so much more as well. It's lovely and you did a fantastic job. And Panic! I love Panic and I love that their ship is the Northern Downpour and I giggled when Pete complained that Ryan couldn't talk about anything except how his hat had caught on fire!

This story is very well balanced and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Thank you for sharing!

Date: 2008-11-29 10:50 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (need a hug)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
First off. Thank you so much for such a fantastic comment. I'll admit, I was grinning like an idiot as I read.

When I was writing this I was a little unsure of my world building. It's the longest story I've written by far, and the sci-fi elements kept tripping me up. I'd write something or describe the things I was seeing in my head, and then would worry that it sounded insane. So knowing it worked is such a relief.

The shatter planet scene is one of my favourites, it's also key to the whole story in many ways. Bob's finally saying goodbye to his old crew and while he's going on to have a good life with his new crew, he'll never forget those from before. They're far too important to him. So I'm thrilled that came across.

I'm with you. I would have liked a scene where Bob was taken care of by the others, but you're right. He gets things done and any emotional breakdown would be pointless. Still, by the end he knows he's surrounded by people who love him, and that means so much.

Pete pushed his way into this story. When I first planned it out he was this character in a bar that sold information, and he's become so much more. Pete and his band of vigilantes, he worries about them all, even if Ryan drives him mad *g*

Thank you for sharing!

Thank you.

Date: 2008-11-25 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] modillian.livejournal.com
Augh, so awesome. *.*

Date: 2008-11-26 03:38 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (baby trickc)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked. Thank you for letting me know :)

Date: 2008-12-28 09:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] why-me-why-not.livejournal.com
I don't remember if I commented on this or not the first time I read it, but I probably didn't b/c I didn't even have it tagged & had to go searching for it today when I got a craving to reread it. Either way, I think this is fantastic on so many levels, and I have it safely tagged now as one of my favorites so I can come back to it. But I want to tell you that one of my favorite parts of it is Pete and his wordstreams, the randomness and how sometimes he doesn't even know what he means, b/c that is so totally PETE. <3

Date: 2008-12-28 09:27 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (trickynicky (turloughishere))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for such a lovely comment.

I'm thrilled you liked Pete so much. At first he was very much a minor character but he pushed his way into the story until he had a much bigger part. Which was great, because I think he's awesome <3

Date: 2008-12-30 11:58 pm (UTC)
themoononastick: refract (bob bryar)
From: [personal profile] themoononastick
So I finally got a chance to sit and read this and... omg, so awesome! Your world building is just superb - I think that's something people so often skimp on but the details you put into everything makes it so easy to imagine and experience what your characters are going through. And, ugh, Bob, I LOVE your Bob so so much. I love the rest of them as well, but mainly Bob. ♥

Also, failboats! :D

Date: 2008-12-31 12:06 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (need a hug)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
You've been very good for my ego today.

I'm so happy you mentioned the world building because so often I was unsure if it was actually working. I mean, I'd write these insane words or concepts and just think to myself, the fuck? So yes, that makes me very happy.

Bob. I fell in love with Bob during this. I missed him when I was finished.

Hee, and yes. The Failboats are kicking slaver ass, and looking good while doing so.

Thank you! So so much <3

Date: 2009-01-22 12:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chalcopyrite.livejournal.com
This was a really, really awesome AU. I love the worldbuilding you've got going on, and how you used the "real" elements to enrich it. I love Bob's POV (I love Bob entirely, in fact) -- and how the other four pretty much ambush him with being his crew. Also, I would pay good money to see Frank in zero-G, because wow.

Date: 2009-01-22 12:53 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (need a hug)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Frank in zero-g would be amazing! You've got me sitting imagining that now. *goes to happy place*

Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a lovely comment. I didn't even know you read in the fandom :)

Date: 2009-05-05 04:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paperdollkisses.livejournal.com
This whole world was just gorgeous Ter. You seriously need to put something out to editors to be published.

Date: 2009-05-05 09:58 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (Bob is a star (samelthecamel))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
You're far too kind.

I'm not sure how it happened but I'm so proud of many of my bandom stories, and this is one of them.

Thank you!

Date: 2009-05-28 12:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mahoni.livejournal.com
This is really fantastic.

Firstly, wow, awesome SF. The awesome SF-ness starts right away, but in part one, when I read this:

Throwing his attention outwards he takes off once again and engages the phavol drive as soon as they break orbit. The rush of escape adds to Bob’s elation as he becomes one with the universe once more, the Love and Death one note in an ever evolving complex melody as she skims waves and plunges through space, nothing more than a vibration of sound. Finally, when he's calmed by the familiar sense of belonging, and the threats of Steriska have been left behind, he stops accelerating and inputs directions to the Axis Cluster. It’s a place he visits often, hiding a tiny planet under banks of dark cloud and thundering storms. It’s also a place where many travelers gather, and someplace he knows he can find the answers he needs.

First though, he needs to deal with Gerard, because there’s no point finding answers when there’s no one to ask the questions.

Bob slips off his visor and rides out the dizzying seconds as controls disappear and the reality of vision clicks into place.


That just. I was all, YES. THAT IS WHY SF IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD. There are a lot of parts like that in this story, passages or turns of phrase that are kind of exhilirating, and capture whatever it is about space, or about space-centric what-ifs, that fills me with glee.

The other thing I really, really love is...something I'm having a hard time articulating. Um. The inside of Bob's head, basically. He's suffered a lot of loss and trauma, gone through something that pretty much parallels what Gerard went through, but he's dealt with it differently. And it's weirdly more affecting that way. He's not overtly a mess, but he's still a mess, and we catch glimpses of that in off-handed thoughts that pass through his mind and remarks he makes. He's so steady and sane, and it makes his moments of suppressed grief like an ache that you don't notice feeling right away, but really hurts a few seconds later.

The rescue on the mining planet is my favorite part of the story. It's absolute SF, with action/adventure and h/c, and it's made of 100% awesome. Bob seeing ghosts (losing his mind) was done so well, too -- I've seen that sort of thing in stories and on SF shows, and it's often good, but always some level of distracting. Like, it works but it's obviously a Clever Plot Device, you know? In this it's sort of understated and never becomes separate from Bob's POV. It's something Bob experiences, rather than being a Clever Plot Device. I know I'm not explaining myself very well at all, but, it's great.

Most of this story hurts a lot, and usually I kind of have a hard time remembering things I love about stories that hurt a lot. (Because I am a HUGE, HUGE WIMP, seriously. I get really depressed by sad stuff at the drop of a hat.) But the things I mentioned above were just overwhelmingly cool and kind of thrilling, so, yes, hurty, but also OMG YAY. YAY.

Date: 2009-06-02 01:16 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (Bob is a star (samelthecamel))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
So, I need to actually reply instead of just flailing like an idiot and leaving the comment in my-box. Seriously, you made my week with this.

This story. I love sci-fi, I've been a trekker for the longest time but I found when I started writing this that I second guessed myself often. I had to make up words and terms and often freaked out that they sounded stupid and people would think I was insane. But at the same time, I didn't want to just have Earth in space. If I were doing that I might as well just have set it on Earth.

Plus, I had this constant worry that I was writing about sex slaves and people being tortured, even if it was off-screen. Your post not so long ago brought all that back, when I was talking to my betas and saying, what warnings should I use and how much should I say about what's going on elsewhere.

YES! So much yes about Bob. On the surface he's coping fine, but he went through something horrific and he's dealt with it in his own way, but deep down he's just as messed up as Gerard. Bob doesn't throw it out there for all to see, he's much more private than that, but it is there, and I'm thrilled you saw that.

The rescue scene was by far the hardest part of the story to write for me. Getting the action right took a lot or re writing because there was so much going on. I wanted Matt to have a good death and Ray to be rescued and yeah, to deal with some of Bob's issues by using The Used. Because he was loved by them, and it would have been so easy for him to give up, but he didn't. He wants to live.

The story is hurty, for everyone, and that's skimming what happened to Mikey and Frank -- I have plans for that story, how they survived and were rescued by Pete, but wow, it'll be hard to tell.

Thank you so much for reading, and for giving me such an amazing comment.

Date: 2009-09-08 10:11 am (UTC)
ext_30583: (backlit frank)
From: [identity profile] nimmy.livejournal.com
there was nothing about this that I didn't love - brilliant!!!!

(and I wouldn't say no to more either)

Date: 2009-09-08 06:16 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (Frank/mikey1 ( crazybutsound))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!

I have plans for the story of Mikey/Frank/Pete, of course when I get around to actually writing that is another matter.
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