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Oct. 8th, 2010 03:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
turpsYou know I'm getting the MCR boxed set, I want a ray gun! The postage will be a killer but it's my Christmas gift for the year so I don't care. Plus,
Things I want to know. Is that a motorbike behind Mikey? If so, hotness! Especially as certain people have now made Mikey and his motorbike equal sexy fun times in my mind. If it's not a motorbike and in fact is a rock or something, don't disillusion me. Also, Ray and his guitar. Does he go stand on a sand dune and play mournful music to the world? Do they have bonfires and Ray performs for them all? Are there secret Killjoys live shows in the middle of the desert!?
I was emailing![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
themoononastick about stories I have in the works and finally I've got my happy fic Pete/Mikey story pretty solid in my mind, I was also telling her about the story I'm writing for Help Pakistan and she refused to indulge me by saying it won't be longfic. So it seems I'm going to spend another autumn writing about sex slaves in cages \o/
That 11 facts meme, I have facts for Frank and Gerard in the Killjoys GSF verse, Mikey in Tints verse, Pete in Sugar Survivors and Bob in Shades of Truth. The rest of the asks were for Shelter verse or Standing on the Graves of Dreams plus a few stragglers, I'll pull those together and post when they're done.
Pete in Sugar Survivors.
(1) When Pete is first given the business card his first instinct is to rip it up. He can't help thinking that paying for sex is for losers, and as low as he's sunk -- and that's very low in the past -- he's never had a problem getting laid.
(2) When he gets in one of his downward spirals it feels like the whole world hates him. Something he reinforces by getting online and reading every negative opinion about himself he can find. Pete knows it's fucked up, but if he reads those it feels like there's some basis for his own self-loathing.
(3) Sometimes Pete phones home when he knows his mom will be out. That way he'll get to hear her voice on the answer machine, but won't have to actually talk.
(4) Each time he does that she phones back and says she loves him. Pete never answers those calls.
(5) The first time he met Mikey Pete expected the reality to be nothing like the picture. That's just how life is. It's one of the reasons Pete was so thrown, because in this case reality was even better.
(6) When Pete says he's gay above the waist he's being truthful. Meeting Mikey was never about sex, it was about an instant connection via picture and Pete needing company.
(7) Which Pete knows is insane, but he's lived his life jumping on instinct. Sure, sometimes those jumps lead to him crashing down, but often it leads to him flying.
(8) When Pete goes back to the hotel Patrick, Andy and Joe are waiting. Patrick's pissed, yelling about Pete just taking off and what the hell was he doing. Pete tells him that he was off meeting the love of his life. Patrick throws a shoe at Pete and stalks out of the room.
(9) Patrick does talk to Pete again, after Pete's given him twenty seven songs all about Mikey and lost loves.
(10) It takes two weeks and four cities before Patrick snaps and tells Pete if Mikey means that much why doesn't Pete arrange for another date? Pete tells him that he's scared, what if he sees Mikey again and this time it's not perfect?
(11) Pete doesn't mention Mikey again after that, there's no point, he's just yet another thing Pete's lost. Then one night Patrick grabs him, says, don't say I don't love you, and shoves Pete into the bus. Where the first thing Pete sees is Mikey.
Mikey in Tints verse.
(1) When he was young Mikey used to put bread crumbs and grass in the dragon bird bath. Only Gerard asked what he was doing, and he never laughed when Mikey told him he was feeding the dragon. Because Mikey knew at night the dragon came to life and ate what he left.
(2) Mikey never tells Gerard that he eventually saw him going out and sweeping up the mixture before throwing it into the next door neighbour's yard.
(3) Even now, when things are so much better, it still takes Mikey a moment to remember his actual age. Fact is, it feels like he's lived a life time already.
(4) Mikey's only hated Gerard once. Intense, burning hatred when he found him on the bathroom floor and realised that Gerard had tried to leave him behind too.
(5) Mikey thinks that the saying boys don't cry is stupid. If he doesn't cry sometimes he'd have to scream instead, and if he does that he'd never stop.
(6) Mikey hates arguing with Frank, sure that when it happens Frank will walk away and never come back. When Frank realises each time they argue he'll stop before stalking away, say 'I'm fucking angry with you right now but I will come back' each time he has.
(7) Frank's the love of Mikey's life. Simple as.
(8) Mikey resents Bob for a while. It feels like he's taking on roles that are supposed to be Mikey's, even if those roles leave him exhausted.
(9) Mikey loves the whole process of helping Frank dye his hair. How Frank will laugh, be pliant under Mikey's hands as they crouch over the tub and add the new colour.
(10) The first time Linda refers to Mikey as her son he spills coffee down his front and has to spend twenty minutes in the bathroom pulling himself together.
(11) Mikey never loves flowers and plants as much as Frank, but he does learn their names and helps in the garden. By sitting in the shade and admiring Frank's ass. Which hey, counts.
Frank in the Killjoys gsf verse.
(1) Frank doesn't keep track of dates and anniversaries but he does keep sense memory snapshots of certain times. How the smog was extra thick the day Jamia was taken, chemicals coating his throat and tongue. How the air was dry when he finally ran, the searing pain of flesh against hot metal, the rumble as he tumbled through ventilation tubes to outside. The scratch of his blanket that first night, lonely despite being surrounded by people.
(2) That night is the only time he's ever seriously thought about walking into the desert and not stopping. No supplies, no water. Nothing but a death wish and a need to escape what feels like an all consuming loss.
(3) He's never thought like that since.
(4) The first time Frank laughs after losing Jamia he feels like the worst person ever. He spends the rest of the day alone, remembering how Jamia laughed and the way she liked to dance as she listened to the illegal broadcasts, the way she looked at Frank like he was the sun in her world.
(5) Lots of people try to talk to Frank that day, he tells them all to fuck off. Mikey comes along last and he doesn't say a word, just sits next to Frank through the long cold night and into a new morning. When the sun starts to rise Frank says, "I miss her." All Mikey says in reply is, "I know."
(6) Frank goes through an extra angry phase. He goes out looking for Dracs to slaughter and takes pleasure in the spray of blood and gurgling screams. He stops when he comes back to base and the kid looks at his blood scattered face and recoils in fear.
(7) Frank kisses Mikey first. It's over a year since Frank left Battery City and he's scared they're losing Mikey, who's there in body but not in spirit. It's why Frank grabs him one day and holds him close, fingers digging in brutally hard and teeth clashing. He does it to provoke a reaction, and Frank gets one, Mikey's tongue in his mouth and he tastes of desperation, dry and bloody. It would be easy to maintain that pace, keep it brutal and demanding, but Frank doesn't allow that. He slows it down, no matter how hard Mikey fights against it, showing him that Frank's there, that Mikey's loved and needed.
(8) The night after that kiss Frank eases himself out of Mikey's embrace and goes outside. Standing in pitch darkness he tells Jamia he's sorry and that he still loves her. In his mind she replies and says she wants him to be happy.
(9) The first time Frank sees Gerard watching he puts on a show. Shoving his hand under Mikey's t-shirt to show off the pale skin of his back, biting at Mikey's neck and making him groan. Frank knows that Gerard knows he's been seen, that only makes it better.
(10) It takes a while for Ray to join in. Resistant to Gerard's words and Mikey's pleading looks, Ray gives in when Frank stalks over, grabs Ray and kisses him, saying, "We want you Toro, now get your fucking ass over there already."
(11) Frank doesn't bottom often, but when he does he likes to be the focus of attention. Fucked hard by them all, come drying on his face and chest, his neck dark with mouth-shaped bruises, his whole body thrumming and the kind of sore he'll feel for days.
(1) Being with three other guys is complicated at times. While they've got the same core of beliefs they're four very different people, and often one will go spinning off on their own. Or Mikey and Gerard will have one of their rare arguments that leave everyone feeling tense and wrong or Ray will need time alone, where he'll sit and mourn what he's lost. At times like that, when Frank feels confused and unsure he remembers being part of a couple, and how easy and simple that seemed.
(2) Those moments never last long. Then they're pulling back together, four cogs that combine into something smooth and effective, but more than anything, something that's powered by love.
(3) Frank's a sap at times, he admits it. The fact that now he sometimes thinks in metaphors is something he blames totally on Gerard.
(4) The day Ray caught a phaser blast to the chest was the day that Frank dropped to his knees and prayed to a God that he'd started to hate.
(5) It was four days after that, when Ray was burning up with fever, infection creeping in red tendrils and breathing shallow that he'd asked to see Frank. Sitting in the make-shift hospital room, the stink of rotting flesh at the back of his throat Frank had listened as Ray fought for breath and lucidity and told Frank that if it got worse Frank had to end it, before Ray became a liability to them all.
(6) After, Frank had spent weeks wondering why he'd been the one Ray had asked for. And what kind of person he was that Frank had finally said yes.
(7) Sometimes, when he's alone, Frank likes to jerk off thinking about Gerard and Mikey kissing. Not for any element of shock that makes it attractive, incest means little in their way of life, more that the bond between them is so strong that it's like watching love, attraction and sex all bound together into an explosive bundle.
(8) Frank loves that Mikey can get forceful during sex, and that he's got a filthy mouth. Watching Mikey make Gerard come through words alone is a memory Frank will never forget.
(9) Often, Frank dreams of deep baths and long showers.
(10) Show Pony keeps trying to teach Frank how to roller skate, each time Frank ends up lying on his back, laughing so hard it takes long minutes before he can even think about getting back up.
(11) Frank thought he'd only fall in love once in his life. He was wrong.
Gerard in the Killjoys GSF.
(1) Gerard only ran because of Mikey. Truthfully, back then it would have been easier to give in to the inevitable and become one of the drones, accepting a life without colour, sheltering under glass domes and breathing recycled air. Then Mikey was busted for listening to illegal music, coming home with an official warning on his record and welts around both wrists. They'd ran that night, Gerard's apathy not extending to watching his brother go down for something that brought him so much pleasure.
(2) For a long time Gerard thinks he's made the biggest mistake of his life. Eating scavenged rations and surviving on a shared bottle of water is brutal, but somehow they manage to keep going, sheer bloody mindness keeping them putting on foot in front of the other.
(3) Finding Dr Death Defying seems like a miracle. That he actually lets them stay is even more so.
(4) It's Mikey that first kisses Gerard. They've been sleeping together since the beginning, curled together for warmth and comfort, but it's never been anything more, until Mikey pushes himself up on one elbow and stares down at Gerard and says that he loves him. Which should sound like some kind of cliché but from Mikey it's nothing but a statement of fact, put out there as he leans in for a kiss. The first one, but also, one that feels like it's been happening forever.
(5) When Ray and the kid turn up it takes Gerard almost a week to realise that they're looking toward Gerard for leadership. When he does realise Gerard goes and freaks out for almost an hour, because he was never supposed to be a leader, he doesn't want to be a leader. He's Gerard Way, nobody or nothing special. When he tells Mikey that Mikey rolls his eyes, says, "As if," before wandering away, saying fondly, "Moron," as he does so.
(6) Gerard loves his leather jacket, and often wears it even when there's no need. When there's no dracs anywhere close and it's so hot it feels like he's swimming in sweat. Fact is, it's his shield against the world, his own fuck you and protection.
(7) Gerard isn't sure about Frank at first. He comes to them shaking and burned, eyes wide and so smothered in sadness Gerard can hardly breathe around him. Frank's a self ghosting waiting to happen, and Gerard's wary, sure he's going to wake up one morning and find Frank gone. That does't happen, but what does happen is Frank and Mikey developing some kind of instant friendship. The kind that leads to Mikey staying with Frank one night leaving Gerard alone. He hates himself for even thinking it, but Gerard's jealous.
(8) Gerard knows exactly how many dracs that he's killed, how many friends he's seen die, how many people he's lost. He wishes he could forget those numbers, but knows there's no chance.
(9) Leadership is a heavy burden, one that sometimes gets too much. The first time that happens Gerard's running on auto pilot, jumping into the Trans Am and taking off into the night, blood on his hands, sand under the wheels and music up so high he can't think. When he goes back hours later Frank punches him in the face and threatens if he ever does that again he'll ghost Gerard himself. And Gerard would be angry but he sees how Mikey's every barrier is down and fixed in place and how the kid's eyes are red and he's about to aplogise when Ray grabs him and holds on, says, "There's better ways, believe me."
(10) That night Gerard sleeps with Ray, held close, silent tears soaking Ray's shirt. It's the first time Gerard's cried in forever. It helps.
(11) It's not often they get the time, space or security to spend time indulging in sex. Mostly it's fast, which makes the times they do get to indulge even more special. Gerard knows which one of them likes, how Ray loves to fuck with his fingers and Frank deep throat and Mikey to indulging in lengthy rimming. Gerard likes all those too, but also, he likes to watch as they come on each others bodies, Gerard running his fingers through the come drying on Frank's chest, Mikey's face, Ray's lower back, swirling designs onto skin, a form of claiming that makes them Gerard's.
Bob in Shades of Truth.
(1) Arriving in the I'm Not Okay video the first time is one of Bob's most surreal experiences. It's like going from nothing to 100 within seconds and he spends the first day of awareness stumbling around and trying to understand what the hell has just happened.
(2) He never actually says it out loud, but Bob hates that he's got no place in the prep school scenes or his own school uniform. It makes him feel set aside somehow, no matter how often the others say that it doesn't.
(3) Which ties into why Bob's only visited Honey and Vampires once. It's not that he doesn't like Matt, they've had plenty of talks sitting on the edge of a float or on the steps of a rain soaked church. It's just, those videos aren't Bob's, and that matters.
(4) It freaks Bob out that Ray watches Mikey die so often. It's why Bob doesn't linger when they visit that video. There's only so many times he can watch Ray shatter inside, caught on a reality he has no hope of ever changing.
(5) Bob's only kissed Spencer once. In the middle of the lake in a bobbing boat, the sun shining bright above them. After Spencer had rowed them ashore and Bob had walked away, mouth swollen and skin warm, and knew they'd never do it again.
(6) For the longest time Bob didn't think Pete had it in him to be a leader. No matter what Mikey said, all Bob saw was someone with a smile too bright to be real. Then Bob started paying attention, seeing the way Pete pulled strings behind the scenes, shoring up their boundaries any way that he could. They're never going to be actual friends, but Bob will follow Pete, always.
(7) Bob has a love/hate thing going with Famous Last Words. He loves that it's his band, his family singing Mikey home, he hates that it ends with Bob himself hurting.
(8) The shackles and chains used in Desolation Row? Bob found a use for them with his band, enough said.
(9) Bob doesn't actually like his Black Parade uniform that much. It's hot and itchy and digs into his neck. He's never told Gerard, and never will.
(10) Bob's had sex with Lady Gaga. Or maybe technically she's had sex with him. Bob's face pushed against a bed, panting for breath and his hands fisted as she fucked him wearing a strap on.
(11) Bob hasn't got a Killjoys uniform, or raygun, or his own nifty mask. But he does have a name, and an urge to laugh every time he hangs out at the diner, his four brothers around him, watching themselves flicker as they eat out of cans and look like an exploding rainbow.
Things I want to know. Is that a motorbike behind Mikey? If so, hotness! Especially as certain people have now made Mikey and his motorbike equal sexy fun times in my mind. If it's not a motorbike and in fact is a rock or something, don't disillusion me. Also, Ray and his guitar. Does he go stand on a sand dune and play mournful music to the world? Do they have bonfires and Ray performs for them all? Are there secret Killjoys live shows in the middle of the desert!?
I was emailing
themoononastick about stories I have in the works and finally I've got my happy fic Pete/Mikey story pretty solid in my mind, I was also telling her about the story I'm writing for Help Pakistan and she refused to indulge me by saying it won't be longfic. So it seems I'm going to spend another autumn writing about sex slaves in cages \o/That 11 facts meme, I have facts for Frank and Gerard in the Killjoys GSF verse, Mikey in Tints verse, Pete in Sugar Survivors and Bob in Shades of Truth. The rest of the asks were for Shelter verse or Standing on the Graves of Dreams plus a few stragglers, I'll pull those together and post when they're done.
Pete in Sugar Survivors.
(1) When Pete is first given the business card his first instinct is to rip it up. He can't help thinking that paying for sex is for losers, and as low as he's sunk -- and that's very low in the past -- he's never had a problem getting laid.
(2) When he gets in one of his downward spirals it feels like the whole world hates him. Something he reinforces by getting online and reading every negative opinion about himself he can find. Pete knows it's fucked up, but if he reads those it feels like there's some basis for his own self-loathing.
(3) Sometimes Pete phones home when he knows his mom will be out. That way he'll get to hear her voice on the answer machine, but won't have to actually talk.
(4) Each time he does that she phones back and says she loves him. Pete never answers those calls.
(5) The first time he met Mikey Pete expected the reality to be nothing like the picture. That's just how life is. It's one of the reasons Pete was so thrown, because in this case reality was even better.
(6) When Pete says he's gay above the waist he's being truthful. Meeting Mikey was never about sex, it was about an instant connection via picture and Pete needing company.
(7) Which Pete knows is insane, but he's lived his life jumping on instinct. Sure, sometimes those jumps lead to him crashing down, but often it leads to him flying.
(8) When Pete goes back to the hotel Patrick, Andy and Joe are waiting. Patrick's pissed, yelling about Pete just taking off and what the hell was he doing. Pete tells him that he was off meeting the love of his life. Patrick throws a shoe at Pete and stalks out of the room.
(9) Patrick does talk to Pete again, after Pete's given him twenty seven songs all about Mikey and lost loves.
(10) It takes two weeks and four cities before Patrick snaps and tells Pete if Mikey means that much why doesn't Pete arrange for another date? Pete tells him that he's scared, what if he sees Mikey again and this time it's not perfect?
(11) Pete doesn't mention Mikey again after that, there's no point, he's just yet another thing Pete's lost. Then one night Patrick grabs him, says, don't say I don't love you, and shoves Pete into the bus. Where the first thing Pete sees is Mikey.
Mikey in Tints verse.
(1) When he was young Mikey used to put bread crumbs and grass in the dragon bird bath. Only Gerard asked what he was doing, and he never laughed when Mikey told him he was feeding the dragon. Because Mikey knew at night the dragon came to life and ate what he left.
(2) Mikey never tells Gerard that he eventually saw him going out and sweeping up the mixture before throwing it into the next door neighbour's yard.
(3) Even now, when things are so much better, it still takes Mikey a moment to remember his actual age. Fact is, it feels like he's lived a life time already.
(4) Mikey's only hated Gerard once. Intense, burning hatred when he found him on the bathroom floor and realised that Gerard had tried to leave him behind too.
(5) Mikey thinks that the saying boys don't cry is stupid. If he doesn't cry sometimes he'd have to scream instead, and if he does that he'd never stop.
(6) Mikey hates arguing with Frank, sure that when it happens Frank will walk away and never come back. When Frank realises each time they argue he'll stop before stalking away, say 'I'm fucking angry with you right now but I will come back' each time he has.
(7) Frank's the love of Mikey's life. Simple as.
(8) Mikey resents Bob for a while. It feels like he's taking on roles that are supposed to be Mikey's, even if those roles leave him exhausted.
(9) Mikey loves the whole process of helping Frank dye his hair. How Frank will laugh, be pliant under Mikey's hands as they crouch over the tub and add the new colour.
(10) The first time Linda refers to Mikey as her son he spills coffee down his front and has to spend twenty minutes in the bathroom pulling himself together.
(11) Mikey never loves flowers and plants as much as Frank, but he does learn their names and helps in the garden. By sitting in the shade and admiring Frank's ass. Which hey, counts.
Frank in the Killjoys gsf verse.
(1) Frank doesn't keep track of dates and anniversaries but he does keep sense memory snapshots of certain times. How the smog was extra thick the day Jamia was taken, chemicals coating his throat and tongue. How the air was dry when he finally ran, the searing pain of flesh against hot metal, the rumble as he tumbled through ventilation tubes to outside. The scratch of his blanket that first night, lonely despite being surrounded by people.
(2) That night is the only time he's ever seriously thought about walking into the desert and not stopping. No supplies, no water. Nothing but a death wish and a need to escape what feels like an all consuming loss.
(3) He's never thought like that since.
(4) The first time Frank laughs after losing Jamia he feels like the worst person ever. He spends the rest of the day alone, remembering how Jamia laughed and the way she liked to dance as she listened to the illegal broadcasts, the way she looked at Frank like he was the sun in her world.
(5) Lots of people try to talk to Frank that day, he tells them all to fuck off. Mikey comes along last and he doesn't say a word, just sits next to Frank through the long cold night and into a new morning. When the sun starts to rise Frank says, "I miss her." All Mikey says in reply is, "I know."
(6) Frank goes through an extra angry phase. He goes out looking for Dracs to slaughter and takes pleasure in the spray of blood and gurgling screams. He stops when he comes back to base and the kid looks at his blood scattered face and recoils in fear.
(7) Frank kisses Mikey first. It's over a year since Frank left Battery City and he's scared they're losing Mikey, who's there in body but not in spirit. It's why Frank grabs him one day and holds him close, fingers digging in brutally hard and teeth clashing. He does it to provoke a reaction, and Frank gets one, Mikey's tongue in his mouth and he tastes of desperation, dry and bloody. It would be easy to maintain that pace, keep it brutal and demanding, but Frank doesn't allow that. He slows it down, no matter how hard Mikey fights against it, showing him that Frank's there, that Mikey's loved and needed.
(8) The night after that kiss Frank eases himself out of Mikey's embrace and goes outside. Standing in pitch darkness he tells Jamia he's sorry and that he still loves her. In his mind she replies and says she wants him to be happy.
(9) The first time Frank sees Gerard watching he puts on a show. Shoving his hand under Mikey's t-shirt to show off the pale skin of his back, biting at Mikey's neck and making him groan. Frank knows that Gerard knows he's been seen, that only makes it better.
(10) It takes a while for Ray to join in. Resistant to Gerard's words and Mikey's pleading looks, Ray gives in when Frank stalks over, grabs Ray and kisses him, saying, "We want you Toro, now get your fucking ass over there already."
(11) Frank doesn't bottom often, but when he does he likes to be the focus of attention. Fucked hard by them all, come drying on his face and chest, his neck dark with mouth-shaped bruises, his whole body thrumming and the kind of sore he'll feel for days.
(1) Being with three other guys is complicated at times. While they've got the same core of beliefs they're four very different people, and often one will go spinning off on their own. Or Mikey and Gerard will have one of their rare arguments that leave everyone feeling tense and wrong or Ray will need time alone, where he'll sit and mourn what he's lost. At times like that, when Frank feels confused and unsure he remembers being part of a couple, and how easy and simple that seemed.
(2) Those moments never last long. Then they're pulling back together, four cogs that combine into something smooth and effective, but more than anything, something that's powered by love.
(3) Frank's a sap at times, he admits it. The fact that now he sometimes thinks in metaphors is something he blames totally on Gerard.
(4) The day Ray caught a phaser blast to the chest was the day that Frank dropped to his knees and prayed to a God that he'd started to hate.
(5) It was four days after that, when Ray was burning up with fever, infection creeping in red tendrils and breathing shallow that he'd asked to see Frank. Sitting in the make-shift hospital room, the stink of rotting flesh at the back of his throat Frank had listened as Ray fought for breath and lucidity and told Frank that if it got worse Frank had to end it, before Ray became a liability to them all.
(6) After, Frank had spent weeks wondering why he'd been the one Ray had asked for. And what kind of person he was that Frank had finally said yes.
(7) Sometimes, when he's alone, Frank likes to jerk off thinking about Gerard and Mikey kissing. Not for any element of shock that makes it attractive, incest means little in their way of life, more that the bond between them is so strong that it's like watching love, attraction and sex all bound together into an explosive bundle.
(8) Frank loves that Mikey can get forceful during sex, and that he's got a filthy mouth. Watching Mikey make Gerard come through words alone is a memory Frank will never forget.
(9) Often, Frank dreams of deep baths and long showers.
(10) Show Pony keeps trying to teach Frank how to roller skate, each time Frank ends up lying on his back, laughing so hard it takes long minutes before he can even think about getting back up.
(11) Frank thought he'd only fall in love once in his life. He was wrong.
Gerard in the Killjoys GSF.
(1) Gerard only ran because of Mikey. Truthfully, back then it would have been easier to give in to the inevitable and become one of the drones, accepting a life without colour, sheltering under glass domes and breathing recycled air. Then Mikey was busted for listening to illegal music, coming home with an official warning on his record and welts around both wrists. They'd ran that night, Gerard's apathy not extending to watching his brother go down for something that brought him so much pleasure.
(2) For a long time Gerard thinks he's made the biggest mistake of his life. Eating scavenged rations and surviving on a shared bottle of water is brutal, but somehow they manage to keep going, sheer bloody mindness keeping them putting on foot in front of the other.
(3) Finding Dr Death Defying seems like a miracle. That he actually lets them stay is even more so.
(4) It's Mikey that first kisses Gerard. They've been sleeping together since the beginning, curled together for warmth and comfort, but it's never been anything more, until Mikey pushes himself up on one elbow and stares down at Gerard and says that he loves him. Which should sound like some kind of cliché but from Mikey it's nothing but a statement of fact, put out there as he leans in for a kiss. The first one, but also, one that feels like it's been happening forever.
(5) When Ray and the kid turn up it takes Gerard almost a week to realise that they're looking toward Gerard for leadership. When he does realise Gerard goes and freaks out for almost an hour, because he was never supposed to be a leader, he doesn't want to be a leader. He's Gerard Way, nobody or nothing special. When he tells Mikey that Mikey rolls his eyes, says, "As if," before wandering away, saying fondly, "Moron," as he does so.
(6) Gerard loves his leather jacket, and often wears it even when there's no need. When there's no dracs anywhere close and it's so hot it feels like he's swimming in sweat. Fact is, it's his shield against the world, his own fuck you and protection.
(7) Gerard isn't sure about Frank at first. He comes to them shaking and burned, eyes wide and so smothered in sadness Gerard can hardly breathe around him. Frank's a self ghosting waiting to happen, and Gerard's wary, sure he's going to wake up one morning and find Frank gone. That does't happen, but what does happen is Frank and Mikey developing some kind of instant friendship. The kind that leads to Mikey staying with Frank one night leaving Gerard alone. He hates himself for even thinking it, but Gerard's jealous.
(8) Gerard knows exactly how many dracs that he's killed, how many friends he's seen die, how many people he's lost. He wishes he could forget those numbers, but knows there's no chance.
(9) Leadership is a heavy burden, one that sometimes gets too much. The first time that happens Gerard's running on auto pilot, jumping into the Trans Am and taking off into the night, blood on his hands, sand under the wheels and music up so high he can't think. When he goes back hours later Frank punches him in the face and threatens if he ever does that again he'll ghost Gerard himself. And Gerard would be angry but he sees how Mikey's every barrier is down and fixed in place and how the kid's eyes are red and he's about to aplogise when Ray grabs him and holds on, says, "There's better ways, believe me."
(10) That night Gerard sleeps with Ray, held close, silent tears soaking Ray's shirt. It's the first time Gerard's cried in forever. It helps.
(11) It's not often they get the time, space or security to spend time indulging in sex. Mostly it's fast, which makes the times they do get to indulge even more special. Gerard knows which one of them likes, how Ray loves to fuck with his fingers and Frank deep throat and Mikey to indulging in lengthy rimming. Gerard likes all those too, but also, he likes to watch as they come on each others bodies, Gerard running his fingers through the come drying on Frank's chest, Mikey's face, Ray's lower back, swirling designs onto skin, a form of claiming that makes them Gerard's.
Bob in Shades of Truth.
(1) Arriving in the I'm Not Okay video the first time is one of Bob's most surreal experiences. It's like going from nothing to 100 within seconds and he spends the first day of awareness stumbling around and trying to understand what the hell has just happened.
(2) He never actually says it out loud, but Bob hates that he's got no place in the prep school scenes or his own school uniform. It makes him feel set aside somehow, no matter how often the others say that it doesn't.
(3) Which ties into why Bob's only visited Honey and Vampires once. It's not that he doesn't like Matt, they've had plenty of talks sitting on the edge of a float or on the steps of a rain soaked church. It's just, those videos aren't Bob's, and that matters.
(4) It freaks Bob out that Ray watches Mikey die so often. It's why Bob doesn't linger when they visit that video. There's only so many times he can watch Ray shatter inside, caught on a reality he has no hope of ever changing.
(5) Bob's only kissed Spencer once. In the middle of the lake in a bobbing boat, the sun shining bright above them. After Spencer had rowed them ashore and Bob had walked away, mouth swollen and skin warm, and knew they'd never do it again.
(6) For the longest time Bob didn't think Pete had it in him to be a leader. No matter what Mikey said, all Bob saw was someone with a smile too bright to be real. Then Bob started paying attention, seeing the way Pete pulled strings behind the scenes, shoring up their boundaries any way that he could. They're never going to be actual friends, but Bob will follow Pete, always.
(7) Bob has a love/hate thing going with Famous Last Words. He loves that it's his band, his family singing Mikey home, he hates that it ends with Bob himself hurting.
(8) The shackles and chains used in Desolation Row? Bob found a use for them with his band, enough said.
(9) Bob doesn't actually like his Black Parade uniform that much. It's hot and itchy and digs into his neck. He's never told Gerard, and never will.
(10) Bob's had sex with Lady Gaga. Or maybe technically she's had sex with him. Bob's face pushed against a bed, panting for breath and his hands fisted as she fucked him wearing a strap on.
(11) Bob hasn't got a Killjoys uniform, or raygun, or his own nifty mask. But he does have a name, and an urge to laugh every time he hangs out at the diner, his four brothers around him, watching themselves flicker as they eat out of cans and look like an exploding rainbow.
