(no subject)

[turps]

We dropped Corey off at uni earlier. He's got a nice room, basic but it has all he needs and the two other flat mates he's met so far seemed nice.

He's not that far away. I know he'll be okay. I know he can look after himself. But even so.

I've been most ridiculous these last few days. Though did hold myself together today until that very last goodbye hug. Not an outright crying bout, just a breakthrough of emotion because I want this thing to be exciting for him and not about me.

But lets not talk about the tears in bed last night. Or in the shower the day before when I set myself off thinking about who would buy his apple juice. Answer, Corey will of course. But that's the rational answer and was hard to see at the time.

He'll be fine. I'll be fine. This is a new exciting start for him and I remain so proud. Just, maybe for the rest of the day, and as stupid as it is, I'll keep on moping.

And no doubt, shed more tears when I first walk past his empty room.

Comments

[sori]

He will never get himself apple the correct way, though. :) You've well earned you're moping, especially when it's tinged with much pride and excitement!

[turps]

You're right about the apple.

Thank you for that, that's a lovely thing to say. You may have set me off again #pathetic

[dine]

it's ok to be feeling verklempt - this is a huge change for you! I know he'll be having all sorts of adventures, and hopefully he'll keep you posted on some of the fun (and that you can see him at regular intervals)

[turps]

Thank you. It is a huge change. The house feels so empty without him. But you're right, he will be off having adventures. Maybe he'll even tell me about one or two *g*

Thank you again for understanding.

[sperrywink]

Mope away! Let all those conflicted emotions out, I say! *g*

More {{{hugs}}}

[turps]

I did mope. Very much so. But feel better today. The house still feels empty, but the sadness is draining away. It helped I was in bed by 9 last night. It's been a tough few days.

[turlough]

You have every right to feel upset and mopey! Your child is moving away from home. It's an enormous change for a parent. *squishes you*

[turps]

Thank you.

I thought I was ready for him going, but it turned out that nope, you can never be totally ready.

[pensnest]

Being a parent involves constant change, except for the fact that you always worry about your children. It's very irritating!

I missed my Bun *so* much when she first went off to university. But it does get easier!

[turps]

I totally get that always worrying. You'd think that it would change when they become adults, but nope.

I've found it is getting easier, thanks for your reassurances it continues to do so.

[topaz119]

Oh, it's such a bittersweet event, isn't it. It takes some getting used to, this is for sure! But you did good!

[turps]

It really is bittersweet. So much pride along with the sadness.

Thank you.

[chalcopyrite]

Oh my gosh wow! I totally get the conflicted feelings and moping -- but I am sure he will continue to do you proud!

[turps]

I was moping like a pro for a few days there. But it's getting better.

I think so too.

[ephemera]

*big hugs*

He's going to be absoltuely fine, but that doesn't mean you can't miss him like crazy. It's kind of a huge change!

[turps]

It really is a huge change. The house feels so empty, and so many small things are such a big miss.

Thank you.

[frausorge]

It seems completely normal and natural to miss him. It's good of you to be trying not to lay that on him, but you should get to feel how you feel and process it however works for you. And you have so, so much to be proud of.

[turps]

Thank you so much for such kind words.

I really am proud, and am able to concentrate on that over the sadness now.

[coreopsis]

This is an exciting period of change for the whole family but if you didn't mope at least a bit, I'd be very surprised. And worried because I'd wonder if you'd been replaced by a pod person--he's your only child and you're a good mom and very close to him, so of course you'll worry and mope a bit but not for long because you know that you raised a smart kid who can take care of himself and who knows he can always call you if he needs to. That's the greatest comfort you can have. *hugs*

[turps]

Your comment sums everything up beautifully. Thank you for all of that. It's what I needed to read. You, and all of the other people who listened and sympathised helped so much.