(no subject)
Nov. 18th, 2003 12:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
turpsI just want to say.
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
adelate has killed me! Now I'm dead by Nick.
*Terri stands up and looks out over LJ land*
My name is Terri and Ilust after like Nick Carter. Not that I didn't like him before, because I did, but now I want to do dirty things to him. Even when he was 17 year old jailbait. I tried to resist, the men I hold dear in my heart were all brunettes, there was no room for blonds. Now Nick with his smile and hair and beautiful 'normal' body just kills me. I'm so weak :(
Hee, last night was fun, I never knew what I was going to find in my in-box. But man, the bouncing Carter balls killed me! ( thanks Noora hon) It was a great distraction as some rl crap was going down.
My mam was out yesterday and she met Kayleigh's dad. ( I'll just say here that Kayleigh is technically my half sister as we have different dads. But I never call her that. She's my sister, that's all and I love her totally. There's no halves in our relationship.) Mam and Brian have a difficult relationship when they meet. It was him that used to beat her up when he was drunk. She left my dad for him and we moved to Brian's house when I was 12. He used to hit her but they stayed together for years. She really loves him, I used to as well until I saw him punch her. Anyway, I doubt mam would have left him butI forced the issue. I wouldn't talk to him and my grandparents got to know and she left him eventually and we got our own house. But he used to come banging on the door wanting to be in, and sometimes mam would still sleep with him and I'd find him in the kitchen when I got up. You know some people make you prickle when you're near? He does that to me, because I did like him a lot before and I know that mam loves him and he's Kay's dad. Damn, stopping there before I get into my fucked up issues about how mam always puts other people before me.
So last night Kay phoned and said mam had seen Brian at the pub and caused a scene as usual. And that he'd come to our estate and was walking around after he's been banging on the door. And just for a moment I was so frightened, I had to shut the blinds in case he was walking past and the memories of other times when people have been banging on the door wanting to be in were so close.
He didn't come of course, and I wasn't frightened long because I'm not that person who has to hide under the quilt crying anymore. But still, I hate when memories have the ability to cut like that so many years on.
My point to this story is that reading those mails made me lol after that, and that's great. There hasn't been a day when one of you haven't made me smile or lol. I've the greatest flist ever.
Now that's out of the way I'm off to write again. My story is coming on great, got some comments from Jae that helped a lot. Pointing out the terrible tense situation and times I'd totally screwed something up or something didn't make sense. And yes, that means I'm going to be thinking about jailbait Carter again...sigh.
ETA: Forgot to say, reading that Chris thinks no one cares about him makes me so sad. If he came to England I'd show him that I care about him so much. I'd even forget my dignity, chase him down the street sqeeing with 'I luv Chris' written on my face if it makes him feel better.
ETA2: I've been told Chris often says things like this and it's probably a joke. Which is something that I'm perfectly willing to accept.
adelate has killed me! Now I'm dead by Nick.*Terri stands up and looks out over LJ land*
My name is Terri and I
Hee, last night was fun, I never knew what I was going to find in my in-box. But man, the bouncing Carter balls killed me! ( thanks Noora hon) It was a great distraction as some rl crap was going down.
My mam was out yesterday and she met Kayleigh's dad. ( I'll just say here that Kayleigh is technically my half sister as we have different dads. But I never call her that. She's my sister, that's all and I love her totally. There's no halves in our relationship.) Mam and Brian have a difficult relationship when they meet. It was him that used to beat her up when he was drunk. She left my dad for him and we moved to Brian's house when I was 12. He used to hit her but they stayed together for years. She really loves him, I used to as well until I saw him punch her. Anyway, I doubt mam would have left him butI forced the issue. I wouldn't talk to him and my grandparents got to know and she left him eventually and we got our own house. But he used to come banging on the door wanting to be in, and sometimes mam would still sleep with him and I'd find him in the kitchen when I got up. You know some people make you prickle when you're near? He does that to me, because I did like him a lot before and I know that mam loves him and he's Kay's dad. Damn, stopping there before I get into my fucked up issues about how mam always puts other people before me.
So last night Kay phoned and said mam had seen Brian at the pub and caused a scene as usual. And that he'd come to our estate and was walking around after he's been banging on the door. And just for a moment I was so frightened, I had to shut the blinds in case he was walking past and the memories of other times when people have been banging on the door wanting to be in were so close.
He didn't come of course, and I wasn't frightened long because I'm not that person who has to hide under the quilt crying anymore. But still, I hate when memories have the ability to cut like that so many years on.
My point to this story is that reading those mails made me lol after that, and that's great. There hasn't been a day when one of you haven't made me smile or lol. I've the greatest flist ever.
Now that's out of the way I'm off to write again. My story is coming on great, got some comments from Jae that helped a lot. Pointing out the terrible tense situation and times I'd totally screwed something up or something didn't make sense. And yes, that means I'm going to be thinking about jailbait Carter again...sigh.
ETA: Forgot to say, reading that Chris thinks no one cares about him makes me so sad. If he came to England I'd show him that I care about him so much. I'd even forget my dignity, chase him down the street sqeeing with 'I luv Chris' written on my face if it makes him feel better.
ETA2: I've been told Chris often says things like this and it's probably a joke. Which is something that I'm perfectly willing to accept.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 05:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 06:26 am (UTC)And don't you be mentioning Lance, I've gone through enough this week!
no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 05:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 06:00 am (UTC)The teenies may make more noise about Justin but Chris still has a hell of a lot of fans, he just doesn't go to the right places to see them.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 06:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 06:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 06:34 am (UTC)before I scream let me just say that Chris has *always* and I mean from the beginning said that no one liked him. He's always going on and on about how Justin and JC are the favorites so no one notices him. it's a Chris thing. he always does it, always will.
honestly I believe if it really bothered him he wouldn't say a word. That's just not like him.
I'm tired of people saying "poor chris" and "we need to show him how much we love him" I think the boy knows. he's not stupid.
/vent
*ahem* sorry you got this but if I saw it once more I was gonna really scream
and just FYI I dont mean anything bad
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 06:56 am (UTC)One problem with coming late into this fandom is I don't know everything, I'm learning all the time.
I'm relieved that he has said that before, because then I can think of it as a joke and not something that's suddenly popped up.
Don't ever feel sorry for putting me right, you can scream in here as often as you like. We're good.
*hugs back*
no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 07:03 am (UTC)see thats one thing I love about you, you let me vent in your journal :o)
and honestly yes he's not the most popular and anyone would be delusional to think he would be but its not like the man lacks for fans. I've seen it first hand.
I'm not the only one who followed him around for 16 holes of a golf tournament
And there is nothing wrong with wanting to show your Chris love but I think people need to chill out.
no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 07:18 am (UTC)This may sound incredibly corny but I'd don't just add friends at random. I read every entry on my flist and though I know you're not friends in the real sense I do class you all as friends. That means that you're allowed to vent, tell me if I'm being stupid anything in here. Friends don't just deal with the good stuff. And that includes telling me to get real when I don't think things through *g*
I love the image of Chris being followed round a golf course by a crowd of fans btw :)
You talk a lot of sense, I think I'll keep you ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 07:27 am (UTC)dude following Chris around that golf course was one of my fave experiences. I can go on and on about it :oP
the best part was Mr. Kirkpatrick himself more or less telling me he bites *wink*
*snicker*
You talk a lot of sense, I think I'll keep you ;)
sense? thats funny most people think I'm insane *g* oh wait I am! :oP isn't it great?
and I think I'll keep you too :o)
you rock my socks
no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 09:39 am (UTC)I'd love to hear all about it! Especially the biting! ;)
And you are insane, and so am I, and that's just the way I like it!
you rock my socks
You sweet talker you. Thank you :D
Now I'm going to go look for some kink fic, because someone has made me think of biting stories ;)
EEeeeee!! (lol)
Date: 2003-11-18 11:24 am (UTC)Kinkfic! With biting! And rocked socks! (ROTFLMAO)
Hee. Go, Terri's Flist! You rock, Dreamtrance, and I don't just say that to everybody. And I'm WAAAAY newer to the fandom than Terri, so I guess I'll shut up & accept other fans' input... ..who am I kidding? Really, I trust the opinions voiced, but I'm a shrink at heart, & I can't help analyzing Chris & wondering about all this. My two cents (keep the change): I'd say he DOES know he's loved, now, but I bet it took time. I'm not saying he's scarred by his past, I dunno enough to assert that, but I AM sure it influences his thought processes, and I can see where that could lead to "I'm not wanted" thoughts. But, he has too much proof otherwise, now; now it's just become a habitual expression, saying something he doesn't necessarily feel the way he's saying it.
Re: EEeeeee!! (lol)
Date: 2003-11-18 11:30 am (UTC)That made sense in my head; it does here, too, if you think real hard (& squint, lol)
Anywho, P.S.: I am also quite certifiably nuts, and so are my inner voices (just ask Terri! *wink*)
Makes me wonder about the whole psychoanalyst thing I've always had going on... ..'cause I'm crazy, too? ;D
Takes one to know one, and all that... *snicker*
Oh, and I specialize in obsession, please, feel free to share your stalking stories, golf or otherwise! lol
no subject
Date: 2003-11-18 11:11 pm (UTC)