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Nov. 18th, 2003 12:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
turpsI just want to say.
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adelate has killed me! Now I'm dead by Nick.
*Terri stands up and looks out over LJ land*
My name is Terri and Ilust after like Nick Carter. Not that I didn't like him before, because I did, but now I want to do dirty things to him. Even when he was 17 year old jailbait. I tried to resist, the men I hold dear in my heart were all brunettes, there was no room for blonds. Now Nick with his smile and hair and beautiful 'normal' body just kills me. I'm so weak :(
Hee, last night was fun, I never knew what I was going to find in my in-box. But man, the bouncing Carter balls killed me! ( thanks Noora hon) It was a great distraction as some rl crap was going down.
My mam was out yesterday and she met Kayleigh's dad. ( I'll just say here that Kayleigh is technically my half sister as we have different dads. But I never call her that. She's my sister, that's all and I love her totally. There's no halves in our relationship.) Mam and Brian have a difficult relationship when they meet. It was him that used to beat her up when he was drunk. She left my dad for him and we moved to Brian's house when I was 12. He used to hit her but they stayed together for years. She really loves him, I used to as well until I saw him punch her. Anyway, I doubt mam would have left him butI forced the issue. I wouldn't talk to him and my grandparents got to know and she left him eventually and we got our own house. But he used to come banging on the door wanting to be in, and sometimes mam would still sleep with him and I'd find him in the kitchen when I got up. You know some people make you prickle when you're near? He does that to me, because I did like him a lot before and I know that mam loves him and he's Kay's dad. Damn, stopping there before I get into my fucked up issues about how mam always puts other people before me.
So last night Kay phoned and said mam had seen Brian at the pub and caused a scene as usual. And that he'd come to our estate and was walking around after he's been banging on the door. And just for a moment I was so frightened, I had to shut the blinds in case he was walking past and the memories of other times when people have been banging on the door wanting to be in were so close.
He didn't come of course, and I wasn't frightened long because I'm not that person who has to hide under the quilt crying anymore. But still, I hate when memories have the ability to cut like that so many years on.
My point to this story is that reading those mails made me lol after that, and that's great. There hasn't been a day when one of you haven't made me smile or lol. I've the greatest flist ever.
Now that's out of the way I'm off to write again. My story is coming on great, got some comments from Jae that helped a lot. Pointing out the terrible tense situation and times I'd totally screwed something up or something didn't make sense. And yes, that means I'm going to be thinking about jailbait Carter again...sigh.
ETA: Forgot to say, reading that Chris thinks no one cares about him makes me so sad. If he came to England I'd show him that I care about him so much. I'd even forget my dignity, chase him down the street sqeeing with 'I luv Chris' written on my face if it makes him feel better.
ETA2: I've been told Chris often says things like this and it's probably a joke. Which is something that I'm perfectly willing to accept.
adelate has killed me! Now I'm dead by Nick.*Terri stands up and looks out over LJ land*
My name is Terri and I
Hee, last night was fun, I never knew what I was going to find in my in-box. But man, the bouncing Carter balls killed me! ( thanks Noora hon) It was a great distraction as some rl crap was going down.
My mam was out yesterday and she met Kayleigh's dad. ( I'll just say here that Kayleigh is technically my half sister as we have different dads. But I never call her that. She's my sister, that's all and I love her totally. There's no halves in our relationship.) Mam and Brian have a difficult relationship when they meet. It was him that used to beat her up when he was drunk. She left my dad for him and we moved to Brian's house when I was 12. He used to hit her but they stayed together for years. She really loves him, I used to as well until I saw him punch her. Anyway, I doubt mam would have left him butI forced the issue. I wouldn't talk to him and my grandparents got to know and she left him eventually and we got our own house. But he used to come banging on the door wanting to be in, and sometimes mam would still sleep with him and I'd find him in the kitchen when I got up. You know some people make you prickle when you're near? He does that to me, because I did like him a lot before and I know that mam loves him and he's Kay's dad. Damn, stopping there before I get into my fucked up issues about how mam always puts other people before me.
So last night Kay phoned and said mam had seen Brian at the pub and caused a scene as usual. And that he'd come to our estate and was walking around after he's been banging on the door. And just for a moment I was so frightened, I had to shut the blinds in case he was walking past and the memories of other times when people have been banging on the door wanting to be in were so close.
He didn't come of course, and I wasn't frightened long because I'm not that person who has to hide under the quilt crying anymore. But still, I hate when memories have the ability to cut like that so many years on.
My point to this story is that reading those mails made me lol after that, and that's great. There hasn't been a day when one of you haven't made me smile or lol. I've the greatest flist ever.
Now that's out of the way I'm off to write again. My story is coming on great, got some comments from Jae that helped a lot. Pointing out the terrible tense situation and times I'd totally screwed something up or something didn't make sense. And yes, that means I'm going to be thinking about jailbait Carter again...sigh.
ETA: Forgot to say, reading that Chris thinks no one cares about him makes me so sad. If he came to England I'd show him that I care about him so much. I'd even forget my dignity, chase him down the street sqeeing with 'I luv Chris' written on my face if it makes him feel better.
ETA2: I've been told Chris often says things like this and it's probably a joke. Which is something that I'm perfectly willing to accept.
