(no subject)

silveryscrape posted an interesting post asking about people's memories of popslash

Which got me thinking. I'm a hiatus fan. ( of Nysnc anyway ) I've told this story many times before, but when I first decided I wanted to write popslash ( which was BSB at the time, I hadn't found Nsync yet ) I very nearly created a different journal because where I was hanging out, rps was so taboo back then.

At the time I was in The Sentinel fandom and while I read the mailing lists they were never really for me. There was only so many times you could be ignored on Senad before you gave up, and the thought of posting to Prospect L terrified me. So, LJ was a huge draw, but I had this issue about whether I should use my name for the rps too. Looking back now I laugh at myself, but it was a big deal at the time. Something that was only amplified when I went to my first slash con and was seriously told that popslashers were lower even than furries on the fandom scale. Which still boggles me to this day, I mean, why say that to someone?

I didn't get a different journal, and soon I'd posted some BSB stories, which sucked and aren't on my site, so no asking. I then started to make friends. What you have to know is I'm very reserved and get intimidated really easily, so going to these new people and actually working up the nerve to comment took a while. But I kept at it and my flist began to grow. People that are still around now, because I get ridiculously attached to people.

Popslash is the fandom where I first felt I'd carved my own tiny space in the fannish world. I wrote, pic spammed, took on communities, commented up a storm and loved those five men so hard. So hard.

I remember the outcry when Lance showed off his bull tattoo for the first time at Challenge. When Rhys posted The Book of Secrets and the fandom just went silent that day as most people read. When they sang the National Anthem and despite not knowing, we knew it was probably the last time they'd sing together. The way that crackly cellphone captured song flew from journal to journal like a blazing fire.

I remember Lance coming out, Chris going through Little Red Monsters and Nigels 11, the wait for JC's first album and the utter joy when it was finally released. The squee when the vid for ADLIDAS was first seen, and the slump when it was pulled.

I remember sitting at my computer on Challenge weekends and devouring every little detail that was posted, often into the early hours. Jumping on each new part of Absinthe Makes as mickeym and nopseud posted it. LJers travelling huge distances to hear Chris sing solo for the first time, and him admit that mentally things hadn't been good.

Writers leaving and new ones arriving, that anon hate meme that drove people away. DWNOGA finally ending, and the torch being passed on. So many amazing stories posted, the not so amazing and the just plain bad.

Joey getting married, Lance trying to hide Jesse, Justin shooting ever higher and becoming a solo star. So many memories tied to those men, and those memories are still being created.

I keep saying popslash isn't dead, and it's not. Compared to what it was it's nothing, I know that, but it's not dead. The April challenge is showing that, with new stories by different writers posted each day. Good stories, and there are still new fans arriving. Bringing their squee and their words and that's fantastic. It is in danger of dying of apathy though. I hate that people post amazing stories and get a handful of comment in return. I know you're not supposed to write for comments, but they're a great thing to get, and when I see a kick-ass story that's obviously taken a long time to write get hardly anything in return, well that's disheartening.

I've always said that popslash is home, and it is. I love the group, the fans, the fic. But pushing the metaphor, while it is my home I'm spending most of my time outside of it right now. Which is pretty easy to do when things are so quiet. I'm falling - have fallen - for another fandom. But that's okay, I have plenty of love to go around.