turps: (CRAMP!)
[personal profile] turps
You know, before I joined the popslash fandom I'm sure I was normal.





We start with this oh so innocent scene of Joey and Justin curled together on the couch asleep, while Chris is asleep on the floor. Weary head resting on his folded arms. So sweet, so innocent. No hint of the UTTER HORROR to come. Ah, bless them.





But things soon change. JC and Lance come in from a night out, just two ordinary men coming home after a date. Who would guess that out of those two ordinary men, one would have a dick bigger than a man's wrist and the other would be a lava lamp ass stuffing maniac! Of course there were clues, like when Lance bent over to pick up the tv remote and JC's member started to lengthen as his eyes took in Lance's leather clad ass. Go JC's member!





Consumed with lust, JC threw Lance onto the bed and was on top of him immediately. The passion! The raging hormones! The impending feel of imminent lava lamp DOOM!





But things don't go well. Needing Lance's dick, which remember is bigger than a man's fist, JC is driven insane with lust, and Lance's eyes went wide as he watched JC grab the collar of his shirt and tear it from his body in a ferocity that Lance has never seen before Sadly, this scares Lance, which in turn makes JC cry! But do not worry! Everything is okay!

He brings his hands to JC's face, and declares his love. "I love you, too, Joshua." Over head birds chirp, butterflies flutter and angels sing. Enjoy that sound, for soon it'll be masked with the sound of lava lamp induced PAIN!





We continue with words of love, and of course turgid meat! Feeling the skin to skin and skin to leather
contact, JC started to slowly push his hips into Lance's leather clad ass. Lance could feel JC's turgid meat pressing against the cleft of his cheeks
. Turgid meat, that's sexy that is.





OH NO! What's this!? Someone has overheard the noise of passion! Don't go in there Chris! Save yourself! Save your ass!!!111!!!





Poor Chris. He's been seen. Let's take a moment to remember Chris' poor untouched ass. Done? Good, because JC is about to pounce! JC quickly jumped off the bed and took the few steps to Chris. His massive
member slick with Lance's insides and bouncing before him.
Poor poor Chris, you should have ran when I told you so, and soon JC has thrown Chris onto the bed next to Lance.





There's a really hot scene between JC/Lance/Chris here..... Okay, I lied. There's a scene of wrongness when JC grasped Chris' dick. Chris threw his head back and moaned as JC continued to manipulate the hard
shaft in his hands.






Prepare yourself, for Lance is about to uncover his mammoth dick, which remember, is bigger than a man's wrist! Chris is horrified! No way is that going near his ass!





But don't worry Chris! Lance has a plan to prep you!





Lance pulled away slightly, held up the lava lamp and smiled at JC. Can you guess where it's going?! Can you!?





I'll let this extract speak for itself. The only thing that remained outside of Chris' full ass was the cord to plug in the lamp.





But do not fear! It's all okay! For Chris liked being fucked by a lava lamp! In fact, at the end of the story Chris wants to do it again! And who can blame him?





For no one understands Chris like Lamp ;)






Quotes from the Lava Lamp story.

What can I say. I'm sorry.

Thank you [livejournal.com profile] nopseud. I loved it so much!
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Date: 2006-01-24 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ihearthings-ii.livejournal.com
you are such a liar. you were always a big freak.


HI Terri!

Date: 2006-01-24 08:29 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
You know, you could be right *g*

Hi CJ!

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Date: 2006-01-24 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceci2176.livejournal.com
You know, before I joined the popslash fandom I'm sure I was normal.
*mwahahahahaha* *can hardly breathe from laughing so hard*


Oh, you were SERIOUS?! *laughs harder*

Date: 2006-01-24 09:19 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Dude! I should be offended here! ;)

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Date: 2006-01-24 08:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceci2176.livejournal.com
Oh, and, uhm...the pictures were what I was laughing at. *nods* Mostly, anyway.

Date: 2006-01-24 09:18 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Sure you were. I believe you ;)

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Date: 2006-01-24 08:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clear-my-eyes.livejournal.com
OMG...that is quite possibly the funniest thing I have seen and read in a long time (maybe even funnier than the Bass-capades yesterday). A masterpiece in words and pictures - sheer genius!

Date: 2006-01-24 09:17 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (Nick (digital_diva))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Popslash makes me laugh so much, it's such a wonderful fandom :)

Date: 2006-01-24 08:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] callsigns.livejournal.com
GAH! THAT'S SO MUCH WRONGNESS IN ONE POST! WHY IS IT SO FUNNY?!? OH, THE TURGID MEAT!

Also, say, link me to the lava lamp story? Again? I NEVER save that damn link!

Date: 2006-01-24 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clear-my-eyes.livejournal.com
http://www.kase.fi/~nooraja/disturbing.txt

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Date: 2006-01-24 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] withdiamonds.livejournal.com
*laughs hysterically*

*chokes on gum*

*does self-Hemlich*

*catches breath*

If we were normal, we wouldn't have joined the popslash fandom to begin with.

Date: 2006-01-24 09:14 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (DR Mikey2)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Death by lava lamp, what a way to go! *g*

If we were normal, we wouldn't have joined the popslash fandom to begin with.

Good point!

Date: 2006-01-24 08:53 pm (UTC)
ext_1905: (Default)
From: [identity profile] glendaglamazon.livejournal.com
Bwahahahaha! Brilliant!

But, wait, why is JC getting fucked by the lamp? Or did you have Chris and JC swap pants? I'm so confused!

Date: 2006-01-24 09:02 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (\o/)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
*Bows* Thank you!

Ah, see at this point JC was on top of Chris, and was jerking him off, you know, to distract Chris from the fact a lava lamp was going to be shoved up his ass!

Or, as the story goes.

JC knew that he had to get Chris' mind off of
> his ass. He turned around and
> straddled Chris' lower back. His balls resting
> on the valley of his cheeks.
> His hard dick pushing fiercely into Chris'
> back. JC laid down on Chris' body
> and wrapped his strong arms around Chris'
> chest. He slowly worked one of his
> hands toward Chris' trapped cock. As JC
> approached the straining member, he
> could feel the heat and the wetness that
> surrounded it

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Date: 2006-01-24 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mickeym.livejournal.com
You know, before I joined the popslash fandom I'm sure I was normal.

People *say* that, but I don't think they really mean it. And I know it doesn't apply to you ;)

Turgid meat, that's sexy that is.

*Almost* as sexy as, oh, how did that phrase go...Oh, yes. His massive
member slick with Lance's insides and bouncing before him.


Yeah, that one. I kinda have this weird, skewed (very skewed) image of Tigger overlaying everything else, now, what with the BOUNCING BEFORE HIM.

Clearly I need more drugs. Or better drugs. Or something.

*smooch* :)

Date: 2006-01-24 09:05 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (Nick (digital_diva))
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Dude! I'm totally normal, always have been ;)

OMG! Adding Tigger to the mix makes it even more insane! I love you!

I think we all need drugs *g*

*smooches you*

Date: 2006-01-24 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bayouskye.livejournal.com
OMG!

*falls over*

*dies laughing*

You know when the big hubub was about over the lava lamp love, I had no idea what the hell anyone was talking about.

Having just finished horking my soda through my nose I as I read your summary, the sick twisted part of me is now diying to read that fic.

Please don't hate me for that....

Date: 2006-01-24 09:07 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (DR Mikey2)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
You have to read the lava lamp story. You'll need brain bleach after but it's a fandom must. There's a link above, just if, you know, you're tempted ;)

There's no way I'd hate you for wanting to read, especially some of the stuff I love reading *g*

Go read and fear the lamp!

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Date: 2006-01-24 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_bettina_/
OMG! Bwahahahahaha!

Date: 2006-01-24 09:24 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
I love this fandom so much!

Date: 2006-01-24 09:23 pm (UTC)
stellamira: (Popslash - Chris smiling)
From: [personal profile] stellamira
You know, before I joined the popslash fandom I'm sure I was normal.

Of course.

Those were some very realistic poses -- Chris' shocked face, JC's look as his member's growing. I'm so glad that this has a happy end; it could've ended so tragically with a traumatised Chris as well...

Date: 2006-01-24 09:26 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (timbertrick)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
You know, it seems people don't understand that I really was normal. I don't understand!

You're so right, it could have ended badly, but it seems even stories about lava lamp ass stuffing have to end well. *g*

Date: 2006-01-24 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raynedanser.livejournal.com
*collapses in giggles*

Oh my....

*wipes tear*

Oh Terri. *pets* We love you so. hee!

Date: 2006-01-24 10:31 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
*laughs with you*

Thank you! *g*

Date: 2006-01-24 10:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beejaybee.livejournal.com
Ahahahahahaha!

I'm not sure what the universe is trying to tell me when I check my f/l for the first time in days and THIS POST is the first thing I see but I'm rolling here.

That story was why I had to lie to my kid when she asked why she couldn't have a lava lamp for her birthday. Oh, the memories. *wipes tear*

And FYI, while I'm not sure I'd believe you were once actually 'normal', I have to say I find your current freakish state wildly entertaining. =)

Date: 2006-01-24 10:30 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Obviously the universe is telling you that you should come and read lava lamp ass fucking stories ;)

Lava lamps will always be linked to this story to me, so I understand how you felt talking to your kid. Lies are a must in cases like these, I mean, explaining the story to those not in the know is almost impossible *g*

And FYI, while I'm not sure I'd believe you were once actually 'normal', I have to say I find your current freakish state wildly entertaining. =)

Ahahahahahaha. Well, thank you.

Date: 2006-01-24 10:13 pm (UTC)
nopseud: (Default)
From: [personal profile] nopseud
Thank you nopseud.

You're very welcome! And no gift has ever been put to better use :-)

(I'm glad there was some indication of where it had come from, because there was nowhere I could see on the site to say 'this is a gift' or include a message. So I had this image of you opening the box and wondering who the hell had sent you a USB lava lamp. :-)

His massive member slick with Lance's insides and bouncing before him.

You know the really sad thing? I read that, and the part that hurts worst of all is the grammar. I think I need to get out more :-)

And I love how in the fourth picture, Lance looks like he's lifting JC's decapitated head into the air. That's all the LLF is missing, really, a bit of skull-fucking and general necrophilia.

Date: 2006-01-24 10:25 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (DR Mikey2)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
I was delighted when I opened the parcel, delighted and very amused. I have to admit I spent a lot of time just staring at the pretty pink glitter.

Your name and addy was on the form so I knew it was you, but really, it would have been easy to narrow it down to a few people ;)

Thank you again :)

I think I need to get out more :-)

I think I should join you.

Skull-fucking and general necrophilia makes any story better I think.

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Date: 2006-01-24 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trumpeterofdoom.livejournal.com
My eyes! MY EYES!!!

Date: 2006-01-24 10:26 pm (UTC)
ext_1650: (DR Mikey2)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
You know you love it ;)

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Date: 2006-01-24 10:33 pm (UTC)
ext_312: Desolation Row!Gerard (Default)
From: [identity profile] turloughishere.livejournal.com
Bravo!! Bravo!!! You're a gifted director! I'm sure the author is as impressed as I am with the way you've brought the written word to life and infused it with drama and pathos!

*can not maintain facade any longer* LOL! Help! You've made me laugh so hard I can hardly breathe!! You're an evil, evil woman and I'm sure you were never normal :-)

Date: 2006-01-25 07:52 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (DR Mikey2)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Thank you!

When I saw what nopsued had sent I just had to do the pics, the idea called to me and wouldn't let go *g*

I'm sure you were never normal :-)

That seems to be a common thought, I should be offended really ;)

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Date: 2006-01-24 10:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deliberatehips.livejournal.com
One of my guy friends has a lava lamp beside his bed and last night we discussed when he had lasted used it. yeah, I giggled.

What a lovely pictoral!

Date: 2006-01-25 07:54 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
last night we discussed when he had lasted used it.

I would have giggled too *g*

Thank you!

Date: 2006-01-24 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ninjetti75.livejournal.com
*DIES SCREAMING HYSTERIC LAUGHTER*

*at ALL of the above*

Dear lord.

I feel like a victim of the Joker, ah-hahahaa.

*pictures Joker sexually assaulting various Robins with a lava lamp*

*scrubs brain with Bat-bleach*

Date: 2006-01-25 07:55 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Dude, you know the Joker would love to assault the Robins with a lava lamp! ;)

Glad you enjoyed *g*

Date: 2006-01-24 10:57 pm (UTC)
pensnest: JC laughing in a cloud of pink and yellow bubbles (JC laugh)
From: [personal profile] pensnest
Oh, dear God. This fandom will be the death of me. I shall expire from lack of breath due to LAUGHING UNTIL I CHOKE!

There's a terrifying gleam in JC's eye. I should watch him, if I were you.

Date: 2006-01-25 07:59 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (DR Mikey2)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
I love this fandom so much! But no dying, that would be bad!

There's a terrifying gleam in JC's eye. I should watch him, if I were you.

There really is, though considering his glee at Lance's lamp plan, well JC's obviously a maniac!

Date: 2006-01-24 10:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buddleia.livejournal.com
*cries soundlessly into keyboard*
That sound? Me WEEPING. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

Date: 2006-01-25 08:01 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (Kiss -- bettina)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
*hands you a tissue*

I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me! *has shame*

Date: 2006-01-24 11:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iconis.livejournal.com
You, my lady, are absolutely NUGGIN' FUTS. I adore you. :D

Date: 2006-01-25 09:13 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Why, thank you! *beams*

Date: 2006-01-24 11:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jewelianna.livejournal.com
Best. Story. With. Illustrations. EVER!

Date: 2006-01-25 09:14 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Hee!

Thank you!

Date: 2006-01-25 12:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] darkseaglass.livejournal.com
You are the most WONDERFUL kind of insane EVER. EVER! LOL! Thanks for this.

Date: 2006-01-25 09:15 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
My insanity seems to be a common theme in these comments ;)

Thank you :)

Date: 2006-01-25 03:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clumsygyrl.livejournal.com
*shakes head*

hahahaha

Date: 2006-01-25 09:16 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
Glad you enjoyed *g*

Date: 2006-01-25 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chrismm.livejournal.com
Oh, my lord. My face hurts from laughing. You are a genius. The evil sort, of course, but genius nonetheless...

Date: 2006-01-25 09:17 am (UTC)
ext_1650: (chris purple.)
From: [identity profile] turps33.livejournal.com
I have no problems being an evil genius *g*

I'm glad you enjoyed :)
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