turps

Oh, that story!

When Mikey ran away from home he hadn't really thought where he was going. He was so tired and things were getting worse with Gerard. Enough that sometimes Mikey didn't even like him any more. He never stopped loving him, Mikey would have to die before he'd ever stop loving his brother, but like was a different matter.

It's why one night he just stood and walked away, knowing he couldn't take another moment. It wasn't something planned, just Mikey stood and left. That Gerard was there and didn't even notice was just another painful memory.

At first Mikey was going to stay with friends, but somehow once he started walking he couldn't stop. The further away from home he got the lighter he felt, like he could breathe for the first time in a while.

It was a few days later he found the fair. He'd heard of them and some of his friends had attended the shows, but Mikey had never visited himself. Now, hungry and tired the sudden appearance of the tents and music seems like magic, and he finds himself walking through the gates.

He wanders a while, stomach grumbling as he passes the food tents and it isn't long before someone approaches, asking if he was looking for work.

Later Mikey thinks how different his life would be if he'd said no to Olaf that day. But he didn't, and hours after walking through the gates Mikey's belly is full, he'd had water to drink and is holding a set of clothes as he's told to get dressed and tidy himself up. The realisation he's in over his head making him feel sick as he'd led through the pens.

He doesn't really remember much about his first night of work. The smell of straw, the painful burn of his fresh brand, someone crying in the adjoining stall. But there was nothing too bad, Mikey didn't exactly enjoy being fucked so often but he was no stranger to meaningless sex as a means of distraction.

What he does remember clearly is the first time he met Pete. It was late, after the fair had shut for the night, and Mikey was following the others toward food.

The first time he sees Pete he's laughing loudly, telling some story about a wolf costume and grease. Pete's the brightest, loudest person there, but the longer Mikey looks the more he sees the way Pete winces as he moves, the way he keeps one hand close to his chest.

Then Pete sees Mikey and his grin gets even wider before he rushes forward, grabs Mikey in a hug and says, 'Hi my new best friend.'

Which is weird, but also true. Within days Pete and Mikey spend every moment they can together. Mikey learns how to dress Pete's wounds and brings him food and water when all Pete wants to do is curl up and stare at the night sky.

Then Mikey's told he's moving to red. Pete's horrifed and does everything he can to protest. He pleads and promises Olaf he'll work twice as hard, take on any extra work. But Olaf refuses, says Horace has made up his mind because Mikey looks young and thin and easily broken.

So Mikey moves to red and quickly learns that no matter how many horrific things he endures there's always worse in the future.

It's Pete that gives him drugs the first time. Easing the pills between Mikey's mouth and pouring in water as Mikey shivers and whimpers, each breath feeling like he's being stabbed anew.

After, Pete holds Mikey all night, strokes his hair and keeps repeating 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry'

When the drugs finally kick in, the pain easing as Mikey floats from reality, he manages a faint 'I'm not' because despite everything he has Pete. That's something he'll never regret.