(no subject)

[turps]

Nanna is still in the hospital. She's had a bad time of it, and in fact, after contacting sepsis we nearly lost her last week. Twice I visited and honestly thought I'd never see her again. The nurse even said no way should she have lasted the night, but she did.

She's a bit better now. Lucid again, but not eating and gets confused. Yesterday she kept saying she didn't know what she was supposed to be doing and had we ever gone through something like this. When her main heart doctor found out the treatment she'd had he wasn't pleased and has said if she goes downhill again she's to have no treatment except things to make her comfortable. No more x-rays or blood tests etc. He's said she'll never go home again, but I don't know if she'll end up in a nursing home, or stay in hospital, or just slip away. Any could happen. It doesn't help she's on a geriatric acute ward, so the ladies around her are seriously ill and keep dying.

She's always said she would go when she was 97, and it looks like she's going to get her wish. She's ready, and logically I know she's ready, but selfishly, I'm not at all. This photo was taken just two days after we thought we'd lose her, you can hardly believer she was at death's door so soon before.

But, things aren't all bad. It's Houghton Feast time, so I've been down to see the opening ceremony and to the parade. Sunderland illuminations have kicked off so I've been there on opening night, and went on the big wheel with James and my oldest nephew. If you're interested some photos of those are on my insta

I've seen Kingsman and Flatliners at the cinema. Been to see Hairspray at the theatre, been to Mog on the Tyne. Took mam out shopping where she actually managed to walk without her stick for a while and we had a lovely day together. And today I discovered my Durham Wasps jacket finally fits me \o/ Okay, so this jacket. For those who don't know the Wasps are my beloved hockey team that were ripped away from Durham and then eventually disbanded by the odious John Hall. Well before that I bought an official jacket, and could never fit into it. I'd bought the biggest size available, but it didn't even come close to zipping up, so I just shoved it in my wardrobe and forgot about it.

Today I tried it, and it fit nicely, which means I'm now a smaller size than I was when I was 19. It's also good as the other day I tried on my winter coats and they're both too big. One even fit over both me and James together and easily zipped up. I've a photo of that, not that it was easy, the both of us crab walking together to hit the button on the phone that was propped up on the mantle piece. But yeah, I can finally wear my Wasps jacket, which is bright blue and yellow, so I won't get missed in a crowd *g*

James also got his Christmas work rota today, and is off Christmas eve and Christmas day, days on Boxing day, and then nights over New Years eve and day, which is pretty much the best it could be. Well, obviously I'd like him to be off Boxing day too to hit the Lush sale but as rotas go it's a good one.

Comments

[sperrywink]

Awww, Nanna. You and your family have all my sympathy. {{{hugs}}}

Yay, Wasps jacket! It pays to keep this stuff, ahahaha!!

[adelate]

I'm so sorry to hear about your Nanna, Terri. :( It's entirely understandable not to feel ready. I don't know if we're ever ready to lose our loved ones. [hugs] I don't think it's selfish, I think it just means you care a lot.

And on the brighter side of the post, congrats on getting to use your jacket! And the picture with you and James sounds fantastic.

[turps]

Thank you. It's hard because it very much feels like a waiting game now, just waiting for that phone call to say she's gone. Which is weird because on the surface she looks so much better, but really isn't at all.

Thank you again! No doubt this will appear on Insta at some point and you'll see it again, but here's the coat pic.

[turps]

I really thought she'd make it until 100. Now I doubt she'll make it to Christmas.

I couldn't believe how old that jacket was when I worked it out. Thankfully it still looks new because after being stuffed out of the way, it was never looked at again *g*

[dine]

I'm sorry about your Nanna - it's hard when those we love are nearing the end. I'm thinking of you

how terrific that you can now wear the Wasps jacket; past!you must be thrilld (well, current!you too *g*)

[adelate]

Yeah, that's not easy at all. My grandma was in the hospital for three months before she passed and it was a tough time for all, so I sympathize. ♥

That is such a great photo! I'm impressed, that had to be difficult to take, hah. :)

[ephemera]

*hand squeezes* I'm sorry to hear that your Nanna's situation has gone that way.

[turps]

Thank you.

Past!me will be dancing right now. Getting that jacket and realising it went nowhere near me wasn't a good moment, especially as the thing was so expensive. I really should have sent it back, but, at that age I was just too embarrassed to do so.

[turps]

She's tough and has overcome the odds a few times now. But I think this may be it.

[turps]

Yeah, you'll understand completely then. The staff are lovely, but it's still hospital.

It would have been much easier if someone else was there to take it. But, at least we got to practice synchronised crab walking :D

[romantical]

That is many many things!!!! Sending lots of good thoughts to you and your nana

[theladysnarkydame]

♥ ♥ ♥

[turlough]

That's so sad to hear about your nanna. ALL the good thoughts to both you and her!!

But hurrah! that your hockey jacket finally fits!!

That photo of you and James in your winter coat is hilarious.

That's good news about James' Christmas schedule. New Year's is a highly overrated holiday, I've always thought.

[chalcopyrite]

All my best thoughts to you and your Nanna. It doesn't matter if they're ready or (you think) you're ready -- you still never want to lose a loved one.

I am very impressed you and James managed to take that photo!

[pensnest]

I'm so sorry about your Nana. I don't think we can ever be ready to lose someone we love, but if she is ready to go, that can be a great consolation. My Grandma was ready, and it really helped.

Get you, smaller than you were at 19! That's impressive—and what's really nice is to know that you're happy to wear a bright blue and yellow jacket and stand out in the crowd. :-)

[frausorge]

I'm so sorry to hear about your nanna. I hope she will be as comfortable as possible and that you get to enjoy whatever time you will have together.

[turps]

Thank you.

That's one thing, I know they are making her as comfortable as possible. It's just a shame that couldn't be in her own home.

[turps]

She is ready to go. She's just tired now, and has out-lived granddad by 20 years, and of course out-lived her son, which she still finds hard to deal with.

Well, this has also shown I was very big when I was 19, but I'm still proud of being able to fit into it now. I can still hardly believe I can to be honest.

[turps]

It hurts my heart thinking if her not being here, and I know that it'll only be worse when she does go.

We rocked the side by side crab walking! Though thankfully only needed to go a few steps, otherwise I suspect falling could have been in our future *g*

[turps]

Thank you. I just feel sad for her stuck in the hospital. They're looking after her, and it's where she needs to be, but she never wanted to leave her home.

It does fit! Many many years later :D

It was hilarious to take, too. I wasn't going to take one, but James insisted, and I think it'll be one I'll look back on and smile in the future.

I totally agree. New Year is really overrated. And while the control room will be mega busy after midnight -- James always says the phones are silent until 12, then go crazy for the rest of the night -- he also says people tend to send in food/treats etc and the atmosphere is good.

[turps]

Thank you ♥

[turps]

Yes, lots and lots. But thankfully many good.

Thank you ♥

[raynedanser]

Very scary for Nanna! How is she today?

Sounds like James got a great schedule for holidays (Boxing Day excluded. Boo sales!). :)

[wenchpixie]

Awh, Nanna - it's so difficult when they're weary, because we still love them so hard. Thoughts with you and with her.

HURRAH for the jacket, how wonderful.

The rota sounds not bad at all - an at least Lush also do their sale online? ;)

[turps]

it's so difficult when they're weary, because we still love them so hard.

That's it exactly.

It's still a bit too warm to wear the jacket -- especially now, I mean, what's this weather in October? But it'll be perfect for winter.

It's an excellent rota, and yeah, I'll be refreshing the Lush site like crazy on boxing day *g*

[rikes]

:D

[turps]

James' Christmas schedual is the best it could be really. Well, apart from Boxing day.

As you know, nanna didn't make it.

[turps]

It's a fun photo *g*