(no subject)

[turps]

Before I get onto the personal stuff, I got an invite to Pillowfort from Sperrywink, and now have an account there. I'm still finding my way around, but if you have an account and want to follow, I'm Turps there, too.

We didn't end up scattering mam's ashes yesterday. On Saturday I was talking to Kayleigh and she said how she was feeling chewed up at the thought of scattering, and that she thought it would feel better to do it when it wasn't mam's birthday, so what should have been a happy occasion wasn't tainted with that final goodbye.

She still would have done it if me or Chris didn't agree, but I was happy to wait and so was Chris. I do think when it's the right time we'll know, and until then mam's safe at Kayleigh's house.

We still met up for fish and chips, though. We went to the beach and mam's favourite restaurant and had a bit of a natter, talked about mam, took photos and it was really nice. It had been a gorgeous day and was still sunny and warm while we were there. In fact, so sunny and warm it was probably best we weren't scattering as with the schools going back this week many families were around. I assume having one last late afternoon at the beach.

So while the day started sad -- I'd had a dream mam had phoned me the night before, so waking up and realising that was impossible wasn't a great start -- it got better. I got some photos. this one is of us all at the restaurant. And this one of me, Kayleigh and Chris. And while mam wasn't physically there, somehow, it felt like she was just out of sight.

Comments

[sperrywink]

That sounds like a much more heartfelt remembrance of your mam for her birthday that way. I'm glad you could all agree.

I still dream of my Dad, but over time I find them welcoming, like he is checking in.

[glitteryv]

It looks like delaying the scattering was the best choice, T.

I had a pillowfort acct during their last beta round in late June. Looked around, tried to make it work, but was turned off by the low activity (considering that I am in MCU), some of the Mods' philosophies regarding anti peeps, and I haaate the interface. Also, a close friend who works in web development talked about some of PF's holes.

Ended up deleting my account (which took a lot of v. insistent emails from me to management).

TBH, I have no idea if PF will actually become the new place to be Fandomwise. In a way, I don't really care? I'm already on Discord, DW, Tumblr, and Twitter. Adding a fifth platform is just too much right now./steps off soapbox ;P

[frausorge]

That sounds like a lovely time remembering her together.

[turps]

It was very much the right thing to do in the end.

[turps]

Delaying really was for the best. They'll get done, but there's no hurry.

I don't know if PF will work for me. Really, what I want is something that's a copy of LJ back in the day, full of people and activity, but I know that's never going to happen.

I wish it would though at that kind of platform suits me perfectly. I like talking in comments and reading/commenting on things other people post. But I also like to do that in my own time, so chat based instant platforms don't really work for me. I'm just stuck in the past really.

That does suck it took you so long to get your account deleting. That's not good at all.

And feel free to stand on your soapbox at any time. It's always good hearing from all sides.

[turps]

We did agree, but what worries me a little is my brother said he'd always go along with anything me and Kayleigh wants. Which suggests to me he thinks he doesn't have the same rights as us, probably due to the argument he had with mam the year before she died. Which is something that's not true at all. I need to discuss that with him at some point.

Checking in is a nice thought.

[rikes]

Lovely pictures of you all! Sounds like a good way to celebrate her birthday.

[turps]

Thank you.

It was a good way to celebrate. She would have loved being there.

[nopseud]

I wouldn't be surprised if he isn't as emotionally invested in the ashes scattering, and he knows that it's more important to you guys so he's happy to defer to you. I'm very much like that, in that I just don't feel anything about ashes, and so after dad died I left it completely up to my mum what she wanted to do with them.

I have had some really lovely dreams about my dad over the years since, though, and while sometimes they make me a bit sad when I wake up I now sincerely enjoy them.

[romantical]

That sounds like a wonderful day, and something your Mam would have appreciated. You guys honored her well.

I'm pretty sure I'm romantical on pillowfort, but I never know anymore. LOL. Anyway, if it's got romantical or romanticalgirl, that's me.

[turlough]

It definitely sounds like you made the right choice in not scattering her ashes and instead just concentrated on having a nice evening together and taking about your mam. There will always be time to do the scattering another day.

PS Great photos!

[turps]

I'm glad we didn't scatter in the end. It just wasn't the right time. But getting together was.

Thank you!

[turps]

It was a good day. It was nice to get together with everyone, it's something I do all the time with my sister, but I suspect it's going to be an effort on our side to see my brother.

I'll have to look you up. Though no one seems to be posting over there.

[turps]

I wouldn't be surprised if he isn't as emotionally invested in the ashes scattering, and he knows that it's more important to you guys so he's happy to defer to you.

I hope it is that. I know he had dad's ashes for nearly a year, not out of some need to hang onto them, but just because of timing issues -- dad had stated in his will he wanted my brother to scatter his ashes at the golf course. So it would make sense he hasn't got the same emotional connection.

I suspect mam's ashes will stay at Kayleigh's for a long time. She's comforted by them being there, and there's no issue in them staying.

I hope I get to enjoy dreams about mam eventually, they just make me sad atm.

[romantical]

I think a few new formats have failed and people are hesitant? That's the thing - if no one posts, then no one goes over there, and then it's a vicious circle of sad.