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Feb. 27th, 2004 07:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
turpsThought I'd better do an entry that's more than squee *g*
I'm still listening to the CD just now, third time, and I'll give a verdict soon, because I bet you all want to know what I think ;)
We went to the bank today and got things sorted, which was good, and to celebrate I made James take me to the Hagan Daze (sp?) ice cream shop to celebrate. Kayleigh came with us and in the few hours she was with us L phoned 8 times and texted double that. We also went to the doctors so Corey has a load of medicine now. He's still asleep on the couch all cuddled in his Finding Nemo quilt. I'd probably join him if I wasn't bopping about to JC. Talking of which I've now destroyed any cool points I had with my sister. She was here when I got the parcel and I think the sight of me grinning like a loon and swearing like a trooper when I couldn't get the wrapping off the CD showed what a dork I am. It's the first time I've been seen when I get a parcel, I'm the same when I get stuff off Jenny, but I'm usually alone and no one sees *g*
I'm going to firing up Word in a moment, but first I meme, the 5 kisses and the 10 life experiences memes.
(1) The day I had Corey, it was such a horrific time, with him being rushed to special care. Then I was put in a room on my own and there was nothing to eat and I was starving in pain and so heart sick I cried all night. When I did sleep I woke to find the pipes had burst and the whole room was under an inch of water. I was so depressed and remember going for a shower when I saw a woman who had the room along the hall. Her baby had died and I saw it being taken into her room in a moses basket and at that moment I knew I couldn't give up on Corey. He had a chance, that poor baby didn't.
(2) Related to that there was a day in special care I remember. Corey was in the cool side of the nursery and I thought he'd be going home that day. I asked the doctor and they decided he had to stay for longer. The MIL was there and she gave me the biggest cuddle and held me for ages because I literally couldn't move. It was like everything came crashing down then.
(3) The day I found out for sure I was pregnant. At the time my mam was with a man I hated with a passion. I'd told her I hated him and she'd told me it was her life and words that amounted to tough. I hated him so much, he kept mentioning everything I ate and my skin would crawl when I saw him, which was difficult as I was still living at home at the time. Anyway, I took the test and it was positive and I just walked out of the house and walked up the hill that's near our house until I reached the bench half way up. James followed and I showed him and we were so happy, I didn't tell anyone else until I was past 6 months gone.
(4) When I was 16 me and my friend decided to go to London to see our hockey team, The Durham Wasps play in the finals. Neither of us had ever travelled alone yet somehow our parents let us go. We got the red eye bus at 2am and got to London at 6 in the morning. The first time we saw London was just, wow. I remember the steward on the bus was so worried about us, telling us to keep to safe areas and be careful and with reason, we were so naive. We hadn't seen anyone sleep rough or beg or anything. We got off at Victoria station, we both had our hockey gear on, blue and yellow Wasps coat, pompoms, I had blue and yellow ribbons in my hair and we just stood and looked at London. We tried to ask for directions and no one would speak to us, and when we asked in a shop they couldn't understand our accent. We eventually found our way round the tube and got to Wembley and man, you should have seen all the hockey fans, in their colours. It was fantastic. When we did get in we were the only Wasps fans in a sea of Pirates, the opposition. But we didn't care, we were young and didn't give a damn as we screamed and shouted. When the Wasps were seconds away from winning I actually told this huge guy to shut up and sit down when he started to diss my team. Then the buzzer went and we went wild, ignoring the Pirates who glared. Later when we went home we had to sit in Victoria for hours for the red eye home. This sleazy guy told us he had somewhere for us to stay if we wanted to, but this other guy made us sit with him until our bus came. I loved that trip but am horrified at the risks we took, yet we still did it again the next year *g*
(5) Hockey related again. It was the finals of the Castle Eden cup and we were playing the Billingham Bombers. We were 5-0 down in the final period but suddenly the team started to pull things back. Seconds before the buzzer the score was tied, it went to sudden death, no goals, then penalties which we won. The rink went wild, I hugged my friend and total strangers, I cried. Cried for my team because the energy in the rink was amazing. We missed the last bus home that night and had to get a taxi. We were both grounded but I'd do it again in an instant.
(6) When I was 18 mam tried to commit suicide again. She usually took tablets but this time cut at her wrists too. I was in the middle of my A-Level exams and it was the last thing I needed, I can't even remember why she did it. All I know is Chris and I went in the ambulance with her and when she was took into the cubicles Chris cried in my arms. He's my baby brother but he's huge, much taller than me, and he just broke down. It's the only time I've seen him cry. We sat in the waiting room for ages then went to the room she was in. She was on a ventilator and Chris and I sat on the floor, neither speaking. The staff made us go and I went back home and had to scrub the blood out of the bath. I can never forget doing that, watching the blood drain away.
(7) It was the first Trek con I'd been too. It was a Voyager con and I'd met my favourite actor Robert Duncan McNeil and had photos taken with him ( god, I love that man ) so I was all psyched anyway. Later in the day James and I were at a talk by Kate Mulgrew ( Captain Janeway) when suddenly there was this voice. We didn't know who it was but then someone walked on to the stage and it was Patrick Stewart ( Captain Picard) The room was in uproar, two Trek Captains on the same stage! It mightn't be much to none Trek people but my skin still prickles thinking about it now. I clapped so much my hands hurt for days.
(8) The moment I realised I loved James. We'd been dating for a while and at the time we both went to the same college. I was meeting him in Sunderland and I got off a bus and saw him walking toward me and my heart skipped. I knew in that moment that I loved him like crazy, and I was stunned.
(9) Seeing my nanna after she died. They brought her coffin into her bedroom and it was open so people could see her. I didn't want to, I wanted to remember her as she was but people said I should. So I went in and cried as soon as I saw her. It wasn't my nanna in there. My nanna drank tea and smiled, she didn't lie in a coffin in her best dress. My aunt came in and said it was only a shell, that nanna was in heaven. It didn't help. I'm scared to death about things like ghosts so thinking she was watching freaked me out. I sat on her bed and looked at her for a long while, then touched her hand, and she was cold, and it just wasn't right. I had to do the same thing with my grandad and went through the same thing.
(10) The first time I got feedback for a story that wasn't from a friend. This may sound trivial but I really don't think I'm a good writer so it was easy to convince myself that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
castalie was being nice because she's a friend. ( Have to say that I know she wouldn't do that, it's just me ) So I posted a story and I got feedback, and I went crazy. I smiled for hours because someone actually liked what I wrote!
Man, I sure do babble *g*
As seductions went it wasn´t the best, and Joey was still confused about a lot of things, but faced with an armful of Chris, with his bare legs, sodden hair and eyes that looked huge in his pale face, Joey can´t resist.
“Damn.’ Joey said, reaching for Chris and pulling him close between his open legs. Chris fit against him perfectly, and Joey holds him tight, one arm wrapped around his waist, the other tracing along Chris´ jaw. Chris´ mouth opens readily under his and Joey takes full advantage, sweeping his tongue inside, exploring and feeling, the hotness of the roof of Chris´ mouth, the smoothness of his teeth, the cool bite of metal as Joey traces Chris´ braces, tongue running gently over each fixing and wire.
Chris moans into Joey´s mouth then pulls back. “We´re in public, lets take this back to the hotel.’
The Way Things Change
"Kiss me."
"What?"
"I said kiss me."
"What about going slow?"
"Slow can wait a little, flowers are overrated and you'd just eat my candy; now kiss me, damn it."
What was Jim supposed to do with a demand like that? Wrenching his eyes from the window he'd been watching for the last few minutes, Jim turned to look at Blair, and found him sitting up straight, staring at him with conflicting emotions of desire, fear and confusion flashing across his face. How could he refuse a request like that?
"Come here then."
Moving slowly, Jim met Blair in the middle ground between them. Placing a gentle hand on his cheek he traced the dark circles that bordered Blair's eyes, feather-light touches that caressed the skin. Fingers trailed down over the cheekbones and met on the snub nose. Using only one finger, he trailed over the lush full lips then brought both hands to Blair's neck and gently pulled him forward. He would have loved to run his fingers through all that hair, but the mist had transformed it into a frizzy mass that strained to leave the confines of the hair-tie, and he doubted that having damp frizzy hair round his face would please Blair. Leaning forward Jim brushed his own lips against Blair's, exploring their fullness. Pressing harder he used his tongue to gently lick along the top lip, then the bottom. They were cold and dry to the touch but so arousing that he became braver and pushed his tongue between them to trace teeth. He felt Blair's breath hitch, then the pressure was returned to his own lips and Blair's mouth opened. Jim felt his pulse race as he timidly felt around inside the open mouth. It was warm inside, even warmer when he felt the tongue he was exploring move to touch his own. Pulses raced as the two men kissed for minutes, both hesitant at first, then more eagerly as they both felt desire take over. It was only when Jim put his hands on Blair's that they stopped. Horrified at how cold he was, he pulled back and smiled ecstatically.
Punch and Pain (The Sentinel)
And it seems I don't do kissing in my stories. I'm sure I must have done more than 2, but it appears not.
ETA: Does America have such a thing as Big Issue? You know the magazine that homeless people sell on the steets and they keep any profit. I need to know for something.
ETA2: Mam's just phoned and told me that Terry, her on off boyfriend died half an hour ago. He moved away before Chrismas but they've been together for years. I liked him, I liked him a lot, he was a drinker and sometimes I hated him for that, but he sent cars for Corey and he bought me my pewter Voyager and he was nice you know? I've still got some of his stuff in my spare room. Mam's in shock saying she should have gone down, she was only talking to him this morning.
I'm still listening to the CD just now, third time, and I'll give a verdict soon, because I bet you all want to know what I think ;)
We went to the bank today and got things sorted, which was good, and to celebrate I made James take me to the Hagan Daze (sp?) ice cream shop to celebrate. Kayleigh came with us and in the few hours she was with us L phoned 8 times and texted double that. We also went to the doctors so Corey has a load of medicine now. He's still asleep on the couch all cuddled in his Finding Nemo quilt. I'd probably join him if I wasn't bopping about to JC. Talking of which I've now destroyed any cool points I had with my sister. She was here when I got the parcel and I think the sight of me grinning like a loon and swearing like a trooper when I couldn't get the wrapping off the CD showed what a dork I am. It's the first time I've been seen when I get a parcel, I'm the same when I get stuff off Jenny, but I'm usually alone and no one sees *g*
I'm going to firing up Word in a moment, but first I meme, the 5 kisses and the 10 life experiences memes.
(1) The day I had Corey, it was such a horrific time, with him being rushed to special care. Then I was put in a room on my own and there was nothing to eat and I was starving in pain and so heart sick I cried all night. When I did sleep I woke to find the pipes had burst and the whole room was under an inch of water. I was so depressed and remember going for a shower when I saw a woman who had the room along the hall. Her baby had died and I saw it being taken into her room in a moses basket and at that moment I knew I couldn't give up on Corey. He had a chance, that poor baby didn't.
(2) Related to that there was a day in special care I remember. Corey was in the cool side of the nursery and I thought he'd be going home that day. I asked the doctor and they decided he had to stay for longer. The MIL was there and she gave me the biggest cuddle and held me for ages because I literally couldn't move. It was like everything came crashing down then.
(3) The day I found out for sure I was pregnant. At the time my mam was with a man I hated with a passion. I'd told her I hated him and she'd told me it was her life and words that amounted to tough. I hated him so much, he kept mentioning everything I ate and my skin would crawl when I saw him, which was difficult as I was still living at home at the time. Anyway, I took the test and it was positive and I just walked out of the house and walked up the hill that's near our house until I reached the bench half way up. James followed and I showed him and we were so happy, I didn't tell anyone else until I was past 6 months gone.
(4) When I was 16 me and my friend decided to go to London to see our hockey team, The Durham Wasps play in the finals. Neither of us had ever travelled alone yet somehow our parents let us go. We got the red eye bus at 2am and got to London at 6 in the morning. The first time we saw London was just, wow. I remember the steward on the bus was so worried about us, telling us to keep to safe areas and be careful and with reason, we were so naive. We hadn't seen anyone sleep rough or beg or anything. We got off at Victoria station, we both had our hockey gear on, blue and yellow Wasps coat, pompoms, I had blue and yellow ribbons in my hair and we just stood and looked at London. We tried to ask for directions and no one would speak to us, and when we asked in a shop they couldn't understand our accent. We eventually found our way round the tube and got to Wembley and man, you should have seen all the hockey fans, in their colours. It was fantastic. When we did get in we were the only Wasps fans in a sea of Pirates, the opposition. But we didn't care, we were young and didn't give a damn as we screamed and shouted. When the Wasps were seconds away from winning I actually told this huge guy to shut up and sit down when he started to diss my team. Then the buzzer went and we went wild, ignoring the Pirates who glared. Later when we went home we had to sit in Victoria for hours for the red eye home. This sleazy guy told us he had somewhere for us to stay if we wanted to, but this other guy made us sit with him until our bus came. I loved that trip but am horrified at the risks we took, yet we still did it again the next year *g*
(5) Hockey related again. It was the finals of the Castle Eden cup and we were playing the Billingham Bombers. We were 5-0 down in the final period but suddenly the team started to pull things back. Seconds before the buzzer the score was tied, it went to sudden death, no goals, then penalties which we won. The rink went wild, I hugged my friend and total strangers, I cried. Cried for my team because the energy in the rink was amazing. We missed the last bus home that night and had to get a taxi. We were both grounded but I'd do it again in an instant.
(6) When I was 18 mam tried to commit suicide again. She usually took tablets but this time cut at her wrists too. I was in the middle of my A-Level exams and it was the last thing I needed, I can't even remember why she did it. All I know is Chris and I went in the ambulance with her and when she was took into the cubicles Chris cried in my arms. He's my baby brother but he's huge, much taller than me, and he just broke down. It's the only time I've seen him cry. We sat in the waiting room for ages then went to the room she was in. She was on a ventilator and Chris and I sat on the floor, neither speaking. The staff made us go and I went back home and had to scrub the blood out of the bath. I can never forget doing that, watching the blood drain away.
(7) It was the first Trek con I'd been too. It was a Voyager con and I'd met my favourite actor Robert Duncan McNeil and had photos taken with him ( god, I love that man ) so I was all psyched anyway. Later in the day James and I were at a talk by Kate Mulgrew ( Captain Janeway) when suddenly there was this voice. We didn't know who it was but then someone walked on to the stage and it was Patrick Stewart ( Captain Picard) The room was in uproar, two Trek Captains on the same stage! It mightn't be much to none Trek people but my skin still prickles thinking about it now. I clapped so much my hands hurt for days.
(8) The moment I realised I loved James. We'd been dating for a while and at the time we both went to the same college. I was meeting him in Sunderland and I got off a bus and saw him walking toward me and my heart skipped. I knew in that moment that I loved him like crazy, and I was stunned.
(9) Seeing my nanna after she died. They brought her coffin into her bedroom and it was open so people could see her. I didn't want to, I wanted to remember her as she was but people said I should. So I went in and cried as soon as I saw her. It wasn't my nanna in there. My nanna drank tea and smiled, she didn't lie in a coffin in her best dress. My aunt came in and said it was only a shell, that nanna was in heaven. It didn't help. I'm scared to death about things like ghosts so thinking she was watching freaked me out. I sat on her bed and looked at her for a long while, then touched her hand, and she was cold, and it just wasn't right. I had to do the same thing with my grandad and went through the same thing.
(10) The first time I got feedback for a story that wasn't from a friend. This may sound trivial but I really don't think I'm a good writer so it was easy to convince myself that
castalie was being nice because she's a friend. ( Have to say that I know she wouldn't do that, it's just me ) So I posted a story and I got feedback, and I went crazy. I smiled for hours because someone actually liked what I wrote!Man, I sure do babble *g*
As seductions went it wasn´t the best, and Joey was still confused about a lot of things, but faced with an armful of Chris, with his bare legs, sodden hair and eyes that looked huge in his pale face, Joey can´t resist.
“Damn.’ Joey said, reaching for Chris and pulling him close between his open legs. Chris fit against him perfectly, and Joey holds him tight, one arm wrapped around his waist, the other tracing along Chris´ jaw. Chris´ mouth opens readily under his and Joey takes full advantage, sweeping his tongue inside, exploring and feeling, the hotness of the roof of Chris´ mouth, the smoothness of his teeth, the cool bite of metal as Joey traces Chris´ braces, tongue running gently over each fixing and wire.
Chris moans into Joey´s mouth then pulls back. “We´re in public, lets take this back to the hotel.’
The Way Things Change
"Kiss me."
"What?"
"I said kiss me."
"What about going slow?"
"Slow can wait a little, flowers are overrated and you'd just eat my candy; now kiss me, damn it."
What was Jim supposed to do with a demand like that? Wrenching his eyes from the window he'd been watching for the last few minutes, Jim turned to look at Blair, and found him sitting up straight, staring at him with conflicting emotions of desire, fear and confusion flashing across his face. How could he refuse a request like that?
"Come here then."
Moving slowly, Jim met Blair in the middle ground between them. Placing a gentle hand on his cheek he traced the dark circles that bordered Blair's eyes, feather-light touches that caressed the skin. Fingers trailed down over the cheekbones and met on the snub nose. Using only one finger, he trailed over the lush full lips then brought both hands to Blair's neck and gently pulled him forward. He would have loved to run his fingers through all that hair, but the mist had transformed it into a frizzy mass that strained to leave the confines of the hair-tie, and he doubted that having damp frizzy hair round his face would please Blair. Leaning forward Jim brushed his own lips against Blair's, exploring their fullness. Pressing harder he used his tongue to gently lick along the top lip, then the bottom. They were cold and dry to the touch but so arousing that he became braver and pushed his tongue between them to trace teeth. He felt Blair's breath hitch, then the pressure was returned to his own lips and Blair's mouth opened. Jim felt his pulse race as he timidly felt around inside the open mouth. It was warm inside, even warmer when he felt the tongue he was exploring move to touch his own. Pulses raced as the two men kissed for minutes, both hesitant at first, then more eagerly as they both felt desire take over. It was only when Jim put his hands on Blair's that they stopped. Horrified at how cold he was, he pulled back and smiled ecstatically.
Punch and Pain (The Sentinel)
And it seems I don't do kissing in my stories. I'm sure I must have done more than 2, but it appears not.
ETA: Does America have such a thing as Big Issue? You know the magazine that homeless people sell on the steets and they keep any profit. I need to know for something.
ETA2: Mam's just phoned and told me that Terry, her on off boyfriend died half an hour ago. He moved away before Chrismas but they've been together for years. I liked him, I liked him a lot, he was a drinker and sometimes I hated him for that, but he sent cars for Corey and he bought me my pewter Voyager and he was nice you know? I've still got some of his stuff in my spare room. Mam's in shock saying she should have gone down, she was only talking to him this morning.
