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LJ is slow today.

Anyone want to entertain me and play shag, marry, cliff?

You know the drill, give me three names, I'll decide if I shag, marry or cliff them and give you three names in return.

ETA: Feel free to challenge others with a list if you like.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

msktrnanny.livejournal.com

Clearly I must marry goldfish!Lance as he's the most subtle snark ever and that would be years of fun times. Assuming, of course, he's one of those very long lived goldfish types. Add in the extreme low maintenance and ability to be entertained in a cubic foot of fresh water and he's damned near perfect, if low on physical affection.

Shag um, horse!Lance [and where is THAT story, Miss Links-a-Lot?] because...um. How to put this delicately? Oh! I've always enjoyed riding horses. [oh my GOD I am a completely lame pervert.] If we remain friends after I can ride him around in a completely non-perverted way, which would be lovely. I honestly do enjoy horseback riding. ;-)

Which means Llama!lance is headed for the cliff. Can Llamas swim? Because then maybe he could go over a very short cliff into some nice warm water where he could swim to shore and thus be adopted by a local tribe in great need of a sensible and smart leader and unencombered by societal restraints about body hair and body odors! Or perhaps I can give him a remote controlled parachute and he'll be traumatized but not done in! Then he can be adopted by a nice petting zoo or something wherein he would be the smartest animal the others had ever seen and he could lead them in an uprising, bargaining for better stalls, screened kids and increased pay!
Wow. Llama!Lance really has it going on.
--------

Hmmm. Couch!Lance is the easy choice for marry, but he was so ... forlorn as a couch. wanting to be useful and LONGING. Which, is really no way to live out a marriage. Not at all. And after all that longing and forlonity he really doesn't deserve to be pushed off a cliff. Which, really, can only end badly for him. So. Shag! He's certainly built for it, and would probably welcome a ...uh... more compatibly built third. Joey perhaps!

Now this is hard. Marry girl!Lance despite having no desire whatsoever in women in romantic situations... he is, after all, Lance under that rack, right? and how man women get husbands who are so understanding about women's issues?! Or do I marry teddybear!Lance [oh man, that story I do NOT need a link to. lol] Who's going to be dependable and cuddly even after he's worn a bit around the edges? and a good wash will clean him up from his, er, time with Joey.

So difficult!

Ok, I'll be cutting edge and marry girl!Lance. That way he can still be gay and I can shock the every living daylights out of my folks.

Which leaves poor teddybear!Lance going over the cliff. But I'll equip him with a tiny teddy parachute and of course, Joey's never had it better, so he'll be waiting at the bottom to catch him and they'll live happily ever after!

ok you.

fleshmechanic!Justin, 'reallifestuckuponhismomaandwon'teatbrokenfries'!Justin, homophobicfanon!Justin

and how about:
Brian, Joey, and hmmm..... Kevin. [for a little boring in your life. lol]

From:

turps33.livejournal.com

Your answer about Joey the couch delights me!

From:

msktrnanny.livejournal.com

Yay!

From:

rikes

Ahahaha, I love your reasonings for all of those! Llama!Lance wins at life.

Horse!sync is by

syncalot, but her site seems to be down at the moment. Woe!

fleshmechanic!Justin, 'reallifestuckuponhismomaandwon'teatbrokenfries'!Justin, homophobicfanon!Justin

Fleshmechanic!Justin gets the cliff, because nobody goes around killing Chrises without having to pay for it! Then I could shag either fanon!Justin or canon!Justin, but wouldn't want to get stuck with them for much longer than that. If homophobia was fanon!Justin's only problem I could perhaps marry him and try to fix that, because canon!Justin's list of issues is ENDLESS. But if you mean fanon!Justin all his fanon glory, he's not too attractive either.

I think I would end up shagging fanon!Justin because he's worshipped as a sex god after all, and marry canon!Justin, because all his issues and craziness aside, I'd like to believe he's a decent human being who tries to do the right things, while fandom doesn't think fanon!Justin is benevolent, or human.

BUT HIS ISSUES. AND MOMMA OMG.

Hey, I could shag fleshmechanic!Justin too, if there was a way to be sure he wouldn't kill me. It might be interesting. But shagging isn't the problem here, it's the marriage part.

Brian, Joey, and hmmm..... Kevin. [for a little boring in your life. lol]

I'd have to marry Brian, or my inner teenie would never forgive me. But then what? Kevin is sort of hotter than Joey, but sex with Joey would be FUN. And who could cliff Joey? Kevin is less sympathetic. Though pretty. Dammit!

From:

msktrnanny.livejournal.com

:-D

I love love love your Justin reasoning. It's all brilliant. And SO TRUE! And you're right.... who could cliff Joey!?

BUT HIS ISSUES. AND MOMMA OMG.

Ah, Justin. Summed up in fractured sentences, net-speak and caps-lock.