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Jun. 19th, 2004 09:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
turpsOk. Like I was sittin listening to Linkin Park. Best band eva!!!111! and thought what wud happen if I went to Rivendale and saw Legolas, because OMG Orlando is so hott!!!!1111!!!!
This is my first fanfic so feed me ok! If you don’t I wont write more and you’ll make me cry!
Legolas was walking in the forest when he saw something move in the bushes.
“Who is that?” he said and poked at the bush with his bow.
I stepped out of the bush and said. “It is me, Dorothee and stop poking me with your bow. I am here to warn you about some danger.” He looked at me and I cud tell he was checkin me out, so I flicked back my ebony glossy hair and batted my cerulean coloured orbs.
“She is hott,” thought Legolas and he pulled the bush aside and helped me out “I wonder what she’s here for?”
Legolas was looking at my breasts so I stuck out my double D chest to show him the creamy mounds under my tight leather dress. I could tell he wanted me, his elf hood was sticking out under his breeches at least 15 inches. {writers note -- heheheh elf hood. Do u like that?}
“ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Suddenly a tribe of orgs attacked!!!! I whipped out my sword and started to fight. I killed five with one swipe and then jumped on two more, knocking them together. See, I’m a black belt of karate. I could kill someone with my little finder but I won’t because I am a pasifist. My daddy the king said I had to learn to fight and also learn to be smart. I have 29 degrees and can multiply any number in a second. Go on, ask me what 79789473876567 x 98746483294 is. I know and I bet u don’t.
“She is wonderful.” He thought, and daintly stepped back as a org came flying past. I don’t want to get blood on my new elf tunic. I want to sleep with her, and he touched himself. “I love u Dorothee!”
I heard my beloved call, and blew him a kiss as I gutted another org with my bare hands. I had to be quick, there were 87 more to beat and I had to tell Legolas my premonition. I had to destroy the ring. That Frodo is a wimp, only I Dorothee the third can be the ring bearer. It is because my daddy is a elf, my mommy a human, my grandad a dwarf and my grandmother a hobbit. I am the saviour of all.
“Ow” I said when a arrow pierced my arm, but I pulled it out and stiched up my arm before killing the last baddy.
“Dorothee, help! I looked up. Gandalf had Lefgolas round the neck and was burning his hair off. OMG Gandalf is evil!
What do u think? I want 20 feedback or I wont write more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
~*~*~*~
This was written for someone who dared me to write a LotR badfic Mary Sue. I’ve never written a word in that fandom so excuse me if it’s bad ;) Not naming the person who dared me as she doesn’t use her name on here so I don’t want to connect the names. She and I know, that’s enough.
Shall I post it at FFNet now, hon? *g*
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Date: 2004-06-19 01:18 pm (UTC)honey...
are you smoking crack?
*is scared*
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Date: 2004-06-19 01:27 pm (UTC)Oh well, one comment down, 19 to go and I'll do more ;)
No, it was a dare that's all. To tell the truth it's almost as hard writing like that than it is doing it for real. No need to be scared hon, I'll be back to normal in the next post *g*
You're so sweet, still commenting on this crap, even if it's a WTF!?
*hugs you*
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Date: 2004-06-19 01:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-19 01:33 pm (UTC)Now I may go and do an ETA to say it's a joke in case anyone thinks it's real...eep!
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Date: 2004-06-20 02:23 am (UTC)Dude, badfic is so much better when its on purpose. I needed that laugh. Thanks.
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Date: 2004-06-20 02:26 am (UTC)Thanks a bunch, honey, I love it *hugs tight* but post this on ffnet and I'll come and kick your ass all the way to England (and beware, cause I'm super-tough) - write moooore! I want my bad sex scene! *giggles*
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Date: 2004-06-20 02:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-20 02:31 am (UTC)Those stories that get pulled apart on the badfic communities? It's me! That annoying Mary Sue that fandom hates? That's me!
I'm going to take over the world! BWAHAHAHAHA
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Date: 2004-06-20 02:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-20 02:35 am (UTC)(Unintentional?)Sexual innuendo. Luckily you didn't use "arrow" in the second one.. Eep!
I killed five with one swipe
With one swipe of what, her double D creamy mounds?!?
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Date: 2004-06-20 02:36 am (UTC)It's surprising how difficult badfic can be to write, I still don't think I've hit the utter lameness of some stories I've seen *g*
I'm glad it made you laugh :)
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Date: 2004-06-20 02:45 am (UTC)Although wait, this isn't a proper fb, please, allow me :
OMG!!1! U r so kewl!1! Like OMG i was listening to liinkin park to and i culdn't help thinking, like wat if Legolas --ORLANDO IS SO teh seksiest man alive, he'z so hawtttt1!1!-- did something like that and wow u wrote it! Pleaz write more cuz i wanna know the rest yay sequel!1! and when hiz bow poked her? Dies!11! Legolas so haz teh seksiest bows!
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Date: 2004-06-20 02:46 am (UTC)You really are the queen of Mary Sues, everyone should bow before you.
No worries, posting on FFNet is something I'm not going to do, I'm not that insane *g*
As for more. You just want to see more of Legolas' elfhood ;)
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Date: 2004-06-20 02:46 am (UTC)OMG!!1! U r so kewl!1! Like OMG i was listening to liinkin park to and i culdn't help thinking, like wat if Legolas --ORLANDO IS SO teh seksiest man alive, he'z so hawtttt1!1!-- did something like that and wow u wrote it! Pleaz write more cuz i wanna know the rest yay sequel!1! and when hiz bow poked her? Dies!11! Legolas so haz teh seksiest bows!
See?!
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Date: 2004-06-20 02:47 am (UTC)*goes to look*
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Date: 2004-06-20 02:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-20 02:49 am (UTC)Double D creamy mounds are lethal weapons don't you know? One swipe and you're dead *g*
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Date: 2004-06-20 02:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-20 02:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-20 03:01 am (UTC)U liked it!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111
Legolas does have teh seksiest bows!! Im gong to marrie him and I will bee Mrs Lefgolas and we'll haev 45 beutiful babies. I luv Orlando so much!!
LOL. I'm glad you liked it. I had to give it a try when I found out there were no Mary Sues with that name at FFNet, I mean why should anyone be denied of that pleasure?
I'm glad all my time hanging around that place was good for something *g*
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Date: 2004-06-20 03:06 am (UTC)You just didn't want to hurt your brain or/and your eyes writing a proper feedback, you bad friend. Shame on you *stern look*
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Date: 2004-06-20 03:09 am (UTC)Come on, it's the first time someone writes a fic for me - I had to share it with you! lol
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Date: 2004-06-20 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-20 03:21 am (UTC)Five women are backing singers to Nsync and fall in love with them during the tour
Arghhhh, get off my men you filthy Mary Sue scum bags!
But I still think HP has more. I mean, how many magical sisters can Harry have? ;)
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Date: 2004-06-20 03:25 am (UTC)I'm one of the Twins Who Lived for Merlin's sake!