(no subject)

[turps]

Ok. Like I was sittin listening to Linkin Park. Best band eva!!!111! and thought what wud happen if I went to Rivendale and saw Legolas, because OMG Orlando is so hott!!!!1111!!!!

This is my first fanfic so feed me ok! If you don’t I wont write more and you’ll make me cry!


Legolas was walking in the forest when he saw something move in the bushes.

“Who is that?” he said and poked at the bush with his bow.

I stepped out of the bush and said. “It is me, Dorothee and stop poking me with your bow. I am here to warn you about some danger.” He looked at me and I cud tell he was checkin me out, so I flicked back my ebony glossy hair and batted my cerulean coloured orbs.

“She is hott,” thought Legolas and he pulled the bush aside and helped me out “I wonder what she’s here for?”

Legolas was looking at my breasts so I stuck out my double D chest to show him the creamy mounds under my tight leather dress. I could tell he wanted me, his elf hood was sticking out under his breeches at least 15 inches. {writers note -- heheheh elf hood. Do u like that?}

“ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Suddenly a tribe of orgs attacked!!!! I whipped out my sword and started to fight. I killed five with one swipe and then jumped on two more, knocking them together. See, I’m a black belt of karate. I could kill someone with my little finder but I won’t because I am a pasifist. My daddy the king said I had to learn to fight and also learn to be smart. I have 29 degrees and can multiply any number in a second. Go on, ask me what 79789473876567 x 98746483294 is. I know and I bet u don’t.

“She is wonderful.” He thought, and daintly stepped back as a org came flying past. I don’t want to get blood on my new elf tunic. I want to sleep with her, and he touched himself. “I love u Dorothee!”

I heard my beloved call, and blew him a kiss as I gutted another org with my bare hands. I had to be quick, there were 87 more to beat and I had to tell Legolas my premonition. I had to destroy the ring. That Frodo is a wimp, only I Dorothee the third can be the ring bearer. It is because my daddy is a elf, my mommy a human, my grandad a dwarf and my grandmother a hobbit. I am the saviour of all.

“Ow” I said when a arrow pierced my arm, but I pulled it out and stiched up my arm before killing the last baddy.

“Dorothee, help! I looked up. Gandalf had Lefgolas round the neck and was burning his hair off. OMG Gandalf is evil!

What do u think? I want 20 feedback or I wont write more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

~*~*~*~

This was written for someone who dared me to write a LotR badfic Mary Sue. I’ve never written a word in that fandom so excuse me if it’s bad ;) Not naming the person who dared me as she doesn’t use her name on here so I don’t want to connect the names. She and I know, that’s enough.

Shall I post it at FFNet now, hon? *g*

Comments

:::whimpering:::

[starwatcher]

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Ow! My eyes!! God, that hurts!!! Please STOPPP!!!!!

Terri, even your very first fic, before it was beta'd, wasn't so awful. I had to read this in two parts -- simply couldn't face the whole thing in one go.

Sorry, not even in jest can I squee about something so dreadful. But I can ask a question -- what's with the '1' interspersed with '!'? I can -- barely -- comprehend using short-speak, but it takes just as many key-strokes to type '1' as '!'. Care to enlighten this old fogey?

Re: :::whimpering:::

[turps33.livejournal.com]

It hurt to write too *g*

I have no idea why people do the !!11!! thing. I know a lot of people use it to mock teenies who do use it a lot, but why they do, I have no idea. I think it's supposed to be a sign of enthusiasm when the poster gets carried away with the exclamation marks and takes their finger off shift.

But it is an much trouble to do it deliberately.